Am I so out of touch?

[Outoftouchbabyboomer]

My Gen Z daughter and I were discussing her sister's potential new home this weekend. I happened to mention that I'd driven by to have a look and see what it was like and that the owner (similar age to me) was on the drive so we said hello, had a brief chat and off I went. To me this is quite normal to be friendly to others but she said that I'm too open and friendly and their generation isn't the same. She was quite hurtful in what she said and I feel like I must be an embarrassment and totally out of touch with how her generation think. Am I really awful for having done this?

I don't really know what Gen Z is, but I and my wife talk to strangers all the time. I'd have done exactly the same as you.

My dad did similar 20 years ago - we had booked a really remote wedding venue. He went along for "a look", introduced himself to the owner and went for a tour.

At the time I thought it was a really strange thing to do and felt mortified, but it seems to be the sort of thing that parents do!

Now I'm 45 it doesn't seem that odd to me 😂

Not at all. I would’ve done the same. Adult DC can be peculiar sometimes! I’d think nothing of it.
I was once visiting my adult DD and had the audacity to knock on the front door. It was a shared house and apparently this seemingly harmless act was both embarrassing and an inconvenience to the friendly, if somewhat vague, chap who answered the door! Apparently, one doesn’t knock or ring the doorbell, one sends a WhatsApp 🤷‍♀️

🤣 thank you that's made me laugh which I needed! They are so peculiar and I just don't understand why it was so wrong 😑

I would have done the same OP.

I'm always mortifying dd20 by talking to people. And she mortifies me by not talking to them.

I remember being mortified when my parents came to visit us in a city, and said hello to everyone they passed on the pavement. My dad bless him even did a sort of chivalrous flourish to let a woman pass 😳🤣

Since living in villages and rural areas, I say hello to every man and his dog! and sometimes think back to those times and worry that I was really stuck up 😞

However, I think different locations have different expectations.

I think it’s a really odd thing to do.

I wouldn't have stopped and chatted with the current owner. Your (presumably) adult daughter will now feel embarrassed and that she comes off as immature with her mum going to check it out.

I don't know what generation gen Z is. I'm 32, but I do feel like my generation has a lot less patience with small talk than my parents+ generations, and that we don't need a conversation for conversations sake. Not really sure what you needed to talk to the house owner about that your daughter probably hasn't already dealt with.

Hi @yeesh , would you mind explaining why you think it's an odd thing to do please? I'd like to understand why it was so odd 🤣

I'd have done the same as you op. im very chatty, infact I think the chattyness comes with age and confidence as there is no way I would have chatted to her in my early twenties. im gen X.
I also have a gen Z (age 17) dd and shes mortified if ever I speak to anyone. she thinks im so weird for chatting to strangers in a queue or a shop. she will tut and roll her eyes in disgust.
Also gen z do not speak on the phone. she looks at me like ive grown 2 heads if I suggest she phones her friends to arrange something. all done on Snapchat now apparently. I do feel the younger generation have extremely poor communication skills.

Hi @LuckyNumberFive thanks for your reply, my daughter is the same age as you so it's good to hear that you think your generation doesn't have the same patience with small talk - I think you might have nailed it there. I just wish she was a bit more understanding about my generation

Well you sound like a cheery sole,
hope you're never stood next to me in a long queue!

Me too…. But then I’m one of those crazy bats who chats with people while waiting for the bus…

Ohhhh this explains a lot about when dc friends visit 😂

I remember being embarrassed by my parents when I was younger but not really thinking it was odd that they chatted to people, everyone's parents were the same.

My kids are Gen Z (apparently) & I find them & their friends to be quite self conscious and constrained in what is ok to do & what isn't. I think the constant surveillance of social media has made younger people overly self conscious & very worried about being judged.

Having googled my age is the cusp of millennial and generation Z. Too young to remember the Y2K stuff but too old to be considered the tiktok youth.

We were the first real generation to grow up with social media and so much technology as part of our daily lives. We had msn for communication, the first wave of smartphones, we were the right age for the launching of Facebook, bebo, MySpace, twitter etc. In my opinion it's really amplified how efficient our communication can be. That's not to say it's better, it's just more efficient. My mum makes a mental note to talk to so-and-so about XYZ or to nip round to the neighbours to let them know about ABC. She's absolutely IT literate but still enjoys the social side of conversations with acquaintances. Wouldn't even cross my mind.. I'd have sent a WhatsApp and been done with it. We've (and this is a generalisation of course) for the most part, lost the need in day to day life to make small talk with strangers. We've created virtual bubbles. Work, friends, all separate.

I would never be embarrassed that my mum's chatty with strangers, that side of things is endearing. I would, however, be embarrassed if I mum visited my soon-to-be new house and spoken to the new owner. It just makes it look like, and would feel like, I can't manage it on my own.

Presumably you mean soul.

I'm perfectly pleasant, I'll exchange niceties in a queue if needed but I don't feel the need to make small talk with strangers for the sake of it.

Im gen X and am now very chatty and confident around people in my late 40s but thinking back to my teens and twenties I was extremely self conscious and felt as you described in your post. So is it something every generation goes through at that age?
My mum whos in her 70s said she also felt like that as a teen and into her 20s. so is it a phase of life thing rather than a generational thing?

yes, I thought my spelling looking incorrect!
Just shows im more used to the spoken word than typed word!

And there's nothing wrong with that. Just as there's nothing that makes me the opposite of a "cheery soul" in the way the stereotypical generation Z/millennial does it.

The OPs daughter is in her 30s. She can be embarrassed that her mum's done this if she wants to be.

Yes, maybe there is always that level of self consciousness but I definitely think my kids & their friends worry way more about what people think of them & worry about being judged more than me & my friends (Gen X) did.

When I was younger, even well into my twenties) I wouldn't speak to anyone I didn't know, I would actually get annoyed if people said hello to me whilst walking my dog.
Roll on 10/15 years and you can't stop me, I chat away to everyone. It feels so nice to have friendly quick chats with anyone and everyone.
For me it all changed when I started to mature and feel confidence in my own skin, I was well and truly missing out, hopefully your daughter will feel the same as she gets older but absolutely don't stop being friendly with people, the world need a lot more of it!

Where do you live? Perfectly normal to talk to strangers in my area.

Thank you ☺️ I'm hoping it's a generational thing too