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Original poster

Dating younger women as a woman

91 replies

ThatJoyousFinch · 15/07/2025 17:40

So I've been divorced for 6 years now been single though I have dated the odd man but it's not exactly been a great experience. I'm 43 now, two kids and I've always been bicurious i suppose. So about two weeks ago I changed my settings on Hinge and I thought I'd look at women out of curiosity, and it wasn't particularly great , matched with a couple of people though. And then a friend suggested I change my settings and give someone younger a swipe and within minutes I matched with a 24 year old.. and I was quite surprised by her, found her charming, funny, well educated too.

So anyway we actually met up last week and it was really nice , went for a walk , had lunch together and couldn't stop talking. She wants to see me again and I was a little apprehensive but my best friend suggests i should just see her. And when I look at my dating apps I seem to have matched with lots of younger women. It's not what I was expecting, as for the last few years I was thinking who on earth would want me. Just thought I'd get this off my chest that's all :) but is "older women" a thing? I know younger men would swipe on me all the time but it was a massive no for me

OP posts:
shuggles · 15/07/2025 21:47

@ThatJoyousFinch but is "older women" a thing?

Yes.

It is a myth that women become unwanted and undateable as they become older. As you have just discovered, there are plenty of people who want to date women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, or older.

Original poster
ThatJoyousFinch · 15/07/2025 22:11

shuggles · 15/07/2025 21:47

@ThatJoyousFinch but is "older women" a thing?

Yes.

It is a myth that women become unwanted and undateable as they become older. As you have just discovered, there are plenty of people who want to date women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, or older.

It has come as real surprise , I've been mainly single for the last few years and it was a bit depressing seeing the men I was encountering on the apps. And as soon as I started looking at women on the apps, it just all feels like a whole new world in the best way

OP posts:
VeryQuaintIrene · 15/07/2025 22:27

Well, she passes the "half your age plus 7" test! At 24, I would have longed to be swept away by an older woman and I know quite a few women who would have felt similarly, so go for it and be happy!

morefamiliar · 15/07/2025 22:44

How sweet, hope it goes well for you both.

Wolfpinkola · 15/07/2025 22:46

Some 24 year olds can be really mature. Have fun Op xx

Original poster
ThatJoyousFinch · 15/07/2025 22:58

Wolfpinkola · 15/07/2025 22:46

Some 24 year olds can be really mature. Have fun Op xx

Thank you, it's only one date but it was a really good first date , and definitely a nice change from all the 50 year old truckers that were liking me when I was looking at men 🤣 (no offence to anyone who likes 50 year old truckers) . She's undeniably attractive, educated and very likeable so far.

OP posts:
Brunocatmon · 15/07/2025 22:59

I date younger women. I'm a young spirit. Just have fun OP.

StarlightLady · 16/07/2025 05:38

Bi female 40s here. There are a lot of us out there, many had a later self discovery.

I think it depends what exactly you are looking for in the longer term. But generally, it’s a number. It might be worth having a what do you see in older women chat at a later stage, if only from the point of view of finding what makes others tick.

Enjoy yourself. x 🌈

Original poster
ThatJoyousFinch · 16/07/2025 18:10

StarlightLady · 16/07/2025 05:38

Bi female 40s here. There are a lot of us out there, many had a later self discovery.

I think it depends what exactly you are looking for in the longer term. But generally, it’s a number. It might be worth having a what do you see in older women chat at a later stage, if only from the point of view of finding what makes others tick.

Enjoy yourself. x 🌈

Thank you , that's such a supportive message, I think I'll go on a second date with the girl from Hinge, and my best friend is telling me to go too. I actually have a couple of other younger women I've matched with too, potentially might see a 23 year old who sounds lovely too 😊

OP posts:
Grimny · 16/07/2025 19:59

Awww! I dreamt about having a relationship like this when I was 24! Best wishes for your next date x

MsDDxx · 17/07/2025 00:21

Grimny · 16/07/2025 19:59

Awww! I dreamt about having a relationship like this when I was 24! Best wishes for your next date x

With an older woman? Just wondering why you found it so appealing - just curious, honestly 😂. I’m in my 40s and like to hear we’ve still got something.

InterestedBeing · 17/07/2025 00:26

For me, it doesn't matter about the sex. Whether it was two men, two women or a man and a woman. It's just grim to be dating such a young woman.When you're in your forties

A woman of that age has not been through the developmental milestones of her twenties. For me, the jump from twenty to thirty was massive. The jump from thirty to forty, not so much. Hardly noticed any difference to be honest.

At twenty four shall be at best three years out of uni. It doesn't matter the sex to me, it just seems inappropriate and predatory.

Yes, I would also say that if it was a man with a much younger woman and a woman with a much younger man or two men.

Find someone your own age.It's just weird. You're old enough to be her mother. You're also bi curious and not actually bi. Make sure you don't waste her time. I'm shocked at the responses on here and the support for this.

alcoholnightmare · 17/07/2025 00:31

Couldn’t agree more with @InterestedBeing.

if any of my sons ended up dating a woman or man old enough to be thier parent I’d be gutted.
Yuck.

InterestedBeing · 17/07/2025 00:44

VeryQuaintIrene · 15/07/2025 22:27

Well, she passes the "half your age plus 7" test! At 24, I would have longed to be swept away by an older woman and I know quite a few women who would have felt similarly, so go for it and be happy!

She doesnt pass that that test.

OP is 43.
43 ÷ 2 = 21.5
21.5 + 7 = 28.5

Based on that rule she should be dating no one younger than 28-29.

But she's got her sights set on 23-24. Gross.

TheNumberBlocks · 17/07/2025 00:49

I was shocked reading these comments at first saying it’s fine, glad to see others think it’s gross. Cant believe how many said this is ok, it isn’t.

simsbustinoutmimi · 17/07/2025 01:33

VeryQuaintIrene · 15/07/2025 22:27

Well, she passes the "half your age plus 7" test! At 24, I would have longed to be swept away by an older woman and I know quite a few women who would have felt similarly, so go for it and be happy!

This is not a thing, imagine if a 17 year old did it. It’s just an excuse for some people to be pedos

NightPuffins · 17/07/2025 01:41

In your own words “I know younger men would swipe on me all the time but it was a massive no for me”

Why is it different with a younger woman? Apply your own standards across all.

FWIW, I think a 43 year old dating a 24 year old is wrong, regardless of the sex of either of them.

ShowDownTime · 17/07/2025 01:46

I think it’s grim. We all know men do this but they do it for sex. Are you looking to have sex with a woman barely out of university? I graduated at 23. It’s predatory. You will have nothing in common with a woman 20 years your junior so for me it’s weird.

freerangethighs · 17/07/2025 02:23

Apart from the age difference, I'm getting a bit of a red flag from this: I have dated the odd man but it's not exactly been a great experience and I've always been bicurious I suppose and I thought I'd look at women out of curiosity.

Are you sexually and romantically attracted to women? If not, please stop what you're doing. If yes, are you prepared for the experience of being in a same sex couple if something gets serious? Can you cope with a relationship (especially one with age-related complications) WHILE ALSO figuring out your own sexual orientation? If you don't know the answers to all of these questions, are you being completely honest with people you match with/chat with/go on to see that you have no experience with women?

It may be that you are finding people who are also figuring out their sexual orientation and are open to seeing how things go with someone else in the same position. But regardless, you have to be absolutely clear about this. Whether or not "older women are a thing", heterosexual women dating lesbians and bi women out of curiosity or as an alternative to finding a non-shitty man is a BIG "thing", and it's really horrible being on the receiving end of it. I would worry that a considerably younger person with less life experience would be the WORST person to experiment with, from an ethical and human decency perspective.

This is not a thing, imagine if a 17 year old did it. The "half your age plus seven" algorithm - while obviously a made up cultural standard - makes the point that an age difference is much more significant for a younger person. So for a 17 year old, the oldest person they should be dating based on this guide would be a 20 yo (20/2 =10 + 7 = 17). For a 24 year old, it would be 29. So with a 19 year age difference, obviously 17 and 36 would be pretty suspect ... but 50 and 69 probably fine (although not without its issues to consider in a serious relationship).

cheesycheesy · 17/07/2025 02:30

It’s a bit gross. I’m 40 and I’d feel like a perv being with someone that age

nzeire · 17/07/2025 03:51

A girlfriend of mine had a fling with a girl half her age and I’ve never thought the same of her since.

no different to me dating a man double my age way back, I look back in absolute horror, wtf was he thinking, I was just a child

wineosaurusrex · 17/07/2025 05:18

It's absolutely normal in same sex relationships for there to be an age gap like this. I expect the few people saying it's "gross" are straight. Healthy and respectful relationships can still be formed regardless of an age gap. Love and connection doesn't disappear when you hit a certain age!

My friend is a 30 year old man married to a 60 year old man, i know two sets of female friends where there is a 34 year old dating a 20 year old girl. Nothing at all concerning about their relationship and they seem really happy together. All consenting adults involved.

Go for it OP!

wineosaurusrex · 17/07/2025 05:20

It's absolutely normal in same sex relationships for there to be an age gap like this. I expect the few people saying it's "gross" are straight. Healthy and respectful relationships can still be formed regardless of an age gap. Love and connection doesn't disappear when you hit a certain age!

My friend is a 30 year old man married to a 60 year old man, i know two sets of female friends where there is a 34 year old dating a 20 year old girl. Nothing at all concerning about their relationship and they seem really happy together. All consenting adults involved.

Go for it OP!

Mysticguru · 17/07/2025 05:31

What if the 24 year old is the preatory one. They're old enough to know their own wants and desires!
Perhaps she wants life experiences and not be swayed by conventional thinking. Perhaps she's a liberated young woman that wants to explore her sexuality. And with someone she's attracted to.
I've had sex with older and younger people. I enjoyed every encounter. I have fond memories. I'm an experienced lover because of those encounters.
I have no guilt, no shame, no regrets.
Just saying!

StarlightLady · 17/07/2025 06:26

simsbustinoutmimi · 17/07/2025 01:33

This is not a thing, imagine if a 17 year old did it. It’s just an excuse for some people to be pedos

Edited
Show quote history

Not relevant! Nobody has mentioned a 17 year old.