Dating younger women as a woman

[ThatJoyousFinch]

So I've been divorced for 6 years now been single though I have dated the odd man but it's not exactly been a great experience. I'm 43 now, two kids and I've always been bicurious i suppose. So about two weeks ago I changed my settings on Hinge and I thought I'd look at women out of curiosity, and it wasn't particularly great , matched with a couple of people though. And then a friend suggested I change my settings and give someone younger a swipe and within minutes I matched with a 24 year old.. and I was quite surprised by her, found her charming, funny, well educated too.

So anyway we actually met up last week and it was really nice , went for a walk , had lunch together and couldn't stop talking. She wants to see me again and I was a little apprehensive but my best friend suggests i should just see her. And when I look at my dating apps I seem to have matched with lots of younger women. It's not what I was expecting, as for the last few years I was thinking who on earth would want me. Just thought I'd get this off my chest that's all :) but is "older women" a thing? I know younger men would swipe on me all the time but it was a massive no for me

Has the OP told the 24 yo I couldn't find any decent men so I switched to women and took a date with you as im curious?

I doubt it. Id tell her to jog on and i hope anyone with any self respect would.

Therefore it is exploitation if she has not been upfront.

sigh

so the fact that OP was already bicurious is being ignored?

Everyone has projected this whole ‘couldn’t find a decent man so decided to try women’ but that’s not what OP has said. OP is perfectly within her rights to decide that she wants to explore her bi curiosity with consenting adults at this time in her life.

It’s a massive age gap, male or female. I can’t help think a man would be told to look for someone his own age.

You will probably attract young women who need a mother figure or who just want a bit of fun.

For what it’s worth I had a much older man pursue me when I was young but over consent and I wish he had stayed the hell away from me. I didn’t know better but they should have.

It’s personally a no from me, I’m a similar age to you and bi sexual but I set my perimeters to no under 30’s, I’d still get messages from 18-20’s but gently declined, just feels wrong and predatory.

I'm 45 and I've got an almost 22 year old daughter so to me it's a bit odd tbh. My wife is 53 but i dont think theres anything wrong with younger from a moral standpoint if you understand the role of this relationship, theres a good chance she wants a mother figure. I know my wife had older gf's before me because she liked a mother figure. Be careful if you're bi-curious, a young girl might fall in love with you and you could break her heart! Be very honest with her.

43 is not exactly ancient, and 24 (especially as a woman) is hardly a child. I agree with PP who say that there can be a slightly different dynamic in same-sex relationships. It would never occur to me to date a 20-something year old now, as I'm much too old, and they are the age of my students, but when I was 20-something, it was a happy rite of passage and I learned a lot.

I apologize for my embarrassing maths failure in an earlier post...

and I never said it was the law?

Have you got a daughter? How would you feel if she dated a woman nearer to your age than hers?

Congratulations!!! It’s definitely different dating women. But if sex is not the number 1 priority it makes sense

It’s gross. It doesn’t matter the gender.

What could you possibly have in common at such a huge age gap? You are both in such different places in Life.

I am 39 and couldn’t even imagine being with a 29 year old. I am young looking, people regularly think I’m late 20s. Not old acting. But I am still 39, with 39 years of life experience.

You do what feels right, ignore the negative posts, they smell of jealousy.

Have fun!

Just because someone doesnt agree it doesnt mean they're jealous.

I think relationships with a big age gap can be really worthwhile, for the right people. It's not all about power, or exploitation, or even sex. I think we are naturally drawn to someone we learn from. In the case of a younger person, they can relish the kind of emotional maturity they might find lacking among their peers. For the older person, it can be about rediscovering some of the fun they might have bypassed earlier in life.

When I was 30 I dated a woman of 50 and one of 53!

Ah, yes, the usual misogyny coming out of a woman's mouth rather than a man.

If a woman has an opinion, she just must be jealous. It's that simple.

My paralegal is twenty three. We have got absolutely nothing in common. And I am younger than the op. It makes me dry heave to think about going out with somebody of that age, male or female. It's so inappropriate.

That's different. There's a big difference in terms of mental and emotional maturity between someone in their 30s and someone in their 20s.

So don’t sleep with or date your paralegal and OP can make their own decisions.

Your opinion doesn’t make OP wrong.

I’m not jealous that could’ve been me if I wanted it to be 🤷‍♀️

It does make her wrong. She can't get a decent man.So she's resorting to preying on young women.

It's just sad.

I’m 42 and have a 24 year old DS. I’d be very worried about the power imbalance if he dated a woman my age. He’s well educated and can hold intelligent conversations but there’s still so much about life and relationships that he’s yet to learn through experience.

Maybe I’m just naive to the ways of the community. When the Schofield stuff happened I remember people some saying that in the gay community the age gap was no big deal.

Maybe if you don’t have older children, you don’t see the vulnerability? It’s just another person.

Oh bless you.

Reading comprehension was missed off the curriculum at your school wasn’t it?

Nothing in the OP says she CAN’T get a decent man, she’s just exercising her right to explore her bi curiosity.

With a consenting ADULT woman.

I dated quite a few ‘older women’ when I was a young woman. My only advice would be to stick to the ‘campsite rule’ - leave her in better shape than you found her. In other words, take extra care not to let your potential relationship traumas/ experiences negatively play out on her.
Have fun!

I don’t understand why same sex age gap relationships are apparently exempt from the same scrutiny as heterosexual age gap relationships are. Scrutiny to mean understandable concern for all the obvious reasons, like of a younger person being potentially exploited & vulnerable. And equally consideration for the older party & if they’re being exploited or sought out for their economic, status or ability to provide or care for the younger person. Are “sugar babies” solely a hetero phenomenon then? Surely not. Either way I think this is hugely concerning. OP ordinarily wouldn’t conceive of it but bcos she’s bi-curious it’s ok? How exactly? Double standards much.

Will you just fuck off and stop following me around.

You've called me names and been rude to me so many times.

You've replied to and called out every single one of my posts and ignored everybody else who doesn't agree with you.

Just grow up you pathetic woman. I don't know why you ve got a particular problem with my posts, and nobody elses who doesn't agree with you. But it's really boring. Just go to hell.

Go back and quote and take issue with everybody else's posts who said the same thing as me.