Does she like me?

[CosyBlueRobin]

35-year-old autistic male here.

Quite recently a very good friend of mine (57-year-old non-autistic female) told me that she had a dream in which I asked her to marry me and she accepted.

She said afterwards, "If the thought ever entered your mind, you know my response."

Would you all call this definite, irrefutable proof that she likes me in that way?

I'm just looking for opinions.

There’s no such thing as irrefutable proof, people are fickle things! Do you like her?

I think she's attractive.

No because I don't know what she thinks of you. If she meant that she would say yes, then that's strange without being in a relationship together first. Also there's a large age gap so she might not see you as a prospective partner.

I believe what she meant by "the thought" was a relationship and not literally marriage. That was probably just a part of the dream. And she has been with younger men in the past.

I think she might have been joking but it’s hard to say without knowing the tone she used. Was she laughing or being jokey?

She's too old and consequently old enough to know better , you are vulnerable @CosyBlueRobin.
Talk to your carer .

It was sent in a private message.

Why do you think she's too old? She's a very attractive lady, by the way.

Just ask her what she meant. There's no way to know, really. Even if she is attracted to you and enjoys a flirt with you once in a while, that doesn't guarantee that she wants to date you, have sex with you or have a serious relationship with you.

You can't be sure whether she's interested in that way without asking her. She may have been saying that you're an attractive guy as a way of complimenting you and showing she thinks you'd be a good catch. Not necessarily that she literally wants to go out with you.
Or, she may have been letting you know that she'd like a date.
If you want to go out with her, you can ask her on a date and see what happens.

I definitely think she's a very attractive lady.

BUMP

We can’t give you irrefutable proof because we don’t know either of you.

On the face of it, she seems to be inviting you to ask her out. But that’s about all any of us can say. You could always answer her with “Are you asking me out?” and see what she says.

Sometimes clear communication is the way forward. Especially when the other person is dealing in hints and maybes.

@CosyBlueRobin Similarly-aged non-autistic male here.

The answer is "no."

First of all, people joke about this stuff all the time.

Second, there is no reason for any sort of romantic interest to exist. You said there is a friendship between the two of you, which isn't a basis for a relationship. So there is no reason for her to be romantically interested.

You don't think her feelings could have changed / evolved? Our friendship is very genuine and very close, but it hasn't stopped me noticing her attractiveness, for instance.

@CosyBlueRobin You don't think her feelings could have changed / evolved? Our friendship is very genuine and very close, but it hasn't stopped me noticing her attractiveness, for instance.

Men and women are wired differently in that regard. Men don't have distinctions between female friends and romantic partners, so men will regard any woman close to them as a potential romantic partner. On the other hand, women put men into distinct "friend" and "romantic partner" categories, meaning that if she regards you as a friend, then she doesn't feel any romantic interest.

I just wonder why she would send me that message if there were no feelings at all.

No, I wouldn’t assume she fancied you. She’s old enough to be your mother and probably thinks you’re sweet.

Because she’s over 20 years your senior.

Not all autistic people have carers ffs. I certainly don’t.

She has gone out with younger men before and I'm sure she's aware that I find her attractive.

I don't either.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that necessarily.

This is bollocks, and makes the poster sound influenced by MRA/incel thinking.

how much younger?

I would find it a bit weird if she consistently dated men in their thirties or younger. Sounds like she doesn’t want to settle down in that case.