Does she like me?

[CosyBlueRobin]

35-year-old autistic male here.

Quite recently a very good friend of mine (57-year-old non-autistic female) told me that she had a dream in which I asked her to marry me and she accepted.

She said afterwards, "If the thought ever entered your mind, you know my response."

Would you all call this definite, irrefutable proof that she likes me in that way?

I'm just looking for opinions.

BUMP

Just leave it. See how things turn out. I think it was a very strange thing to even say to you. All I can think is she was just chatting away making conversation because she had had a weird dream. I do similar sometimes it would NOT mean I want a relationship with a male friend. Male friends are just that male friends.

I am a 50year old female, i am probably autistic, had many male uni friends who were autistic so I know how confusing this stuff can be.

And yes there’s nothing wrong with a difference in age I’m with a younger partner. But an autistic male friend 22 years younger than me would always only ever be a great friend of mine. My son is only 17 years younger than me for perspective.

It was sent in a private message. She said it happened and she just had to tell me.

Also what does close and affectionate mean from your perspective.

A man in his 50s who only ever dates women 20plus years younger is a major creep (polite tem) and it’s the same if it is a female so what affection has she shown to you?

Yeah so I think she was just friendly chatting with you. If you are very close friends that’s normal.

Is she also autistic btw? Ignore I have reread and she’s not.

She's definitely not a creep. Close and affectionate? We'll say "I love you" to each other and talk about how we wish we could be together in person more often. That sort of thing.

Ok how often do you see her in real life? Have you ever?

And btw the only person I am not related to that I say I love you to would be my partner so I find that strange. Plus I don’t ever say that that often so I don’t think I can give any more advice.

Yes, we have seen each other in person. What's strange about friends saying "I love you"? In your opinion.

If you like her, just ask her out! Personally, I think the age gap is too big (I am 41 and I wouldn't date a 57 year old if I was single). However, everyone is different. If she makes you happy and likes you then go ahead.

Why do you think the age gap is too big? Just asking.

BUMP

Is there a reason you keep bumping the thread? How many replies do you want? The facts are that nobody can say if she fancies you but if she does, it wouldn’t be a good idea to pursue a relationship with her for reasons already explained.

As above says, no point bumping the thread as you’ve had every bit of possible advice here. Maybe try the autism sub on Reddit. I’m on it and it’s quite good

Because with that big an age gap you don’t tend to have much in common and want different things from life.

in your case, the woman you know would be in retirement by the time you’ve just entered your forties and are still young. Plus if you ever decide you want children she would be too old to have them.

Agreed with PP, saying she loves you is not normal.

I say it to her as well.

And I'm happy to abandon this thread.

It’s really not normal or appropriate. Imagine if a man of almost sixty was saying it to a girl your age.

presuming she knows you’re on the spectrum it’s even worse imo. Because she will know you probably take it semi seriously.

its up to you if you choose to pursue her.

How often do you see each other in person?

One of my co-workers had teenage daughters when she was my age.

Yes but I’m guessing her partner wasn’t a man in his fifties.

I think it was just a throwaway remark from a friend. We all dream and some dreams do involve friends and relatives. For instance, I was dreaming that my husband was chasing me down the street with balloons. He had to wake me up as apparently I was shouting for help ! No idea what that was about....
Also with the age difference I would think she sees you as a friend and is happy with that.

It is a different life-stage. My DH is 7 years older than me and even then I feel we are at different stages (in terms of goals and interests).

I think what she said to you is really ambiguous. Did she mean the dream was a joke, and she'd obviously say no in real life? Or that the dream indicates subconscious feelings? If you'd like to date her, I think you need to clarify by asking her this. The age gap is not important if you don't feel it matters.

What do you mean when you say it.

And to how many of your friends do you say it? What differentiates those to whom you do say it from those you don’t?