Does she like me?

[CosyBlueRobin]

35-year-old autistic male here.

Quite recently a very good friend of mine (57-year-old non-autistic female) told me that she had a dream in which I asked her to marry me and she accepted.

She said afterwards, "If the thought ever entered your mind, you know my response."

Would you all call this definite, irrefutable proof that she likes me in that way?

I'm just looking for opinions.

She’s making a friendly joke about her strange dream.

I mean that I love her. We have a strong attachment to one another.

There's a similar (slightly bigger) age gap between me and my DH, OP. We have been very happy for >12 years and he's under no illusions about what's involved as I age. He's a wise old soul and I am fairly immature, which probably helps 😃but we are the happiest couple we know. Not all men are fascinated by youthful beauty, preferring the company of someone they truly cherish. If you feel the same way, it's worth putting your cards on the table. If she doesn't feel the same way no harm is done if you are happy just being friends if that turns out to be all she has in mind, but nothing ventured nothing gained 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not all couples fit the typical mould.

You love her? How long have you known her/seen her irl

by irl I mean not just chatting on the internet

If your friendship is close enough to express that you love each other, she may just have felt comfortable enough to joke about her dream with you. The jump from platonic friendship straight to suggesting she’d say yes if you asked her to marry you, without even any flirting to test the waters first, seems an unlikely way to signal attraction.
If you value the friendship I wouldn’t read too much into this. It’s not “definite, irrefutable proof” that she’s interested in more, and you risk damaging the relationship you have with her now if you’ve misread.

I'm going to ignore the age gap here. I think she was telling you that yes, she wouldn't say no if you asked her out. Ask her if that was what she meant, as only she will know for sure.

Another autistic person here, not only do I not have a carer, but I work full time and have been fully independent since being a young adult.

@CosyBlueRobin - You're asking the wrong question.

This is the one you should be asking:

Do YOU like her?

If the answer is "yes", then ask her on a date. --> "I was thinking about that private message you sent me. The one about the dream where I asked you to marry me and you said yes. I'm not ready to take THAT step yet. :-) But would you like to go on a date with me?"

The "irrefutable proof" you're loooking for - nobody can give you that, because most of the "emotional content" and intent in that message which she sent you was implicit (in the context of your relationship, what's normal between you two, etc.) rather than explicit (in the words).

For what it's worth, she presumably knows that you are autistic and would expect you to take what she tells you literally. On that basis, I think she DOES like you - and I think that if you like her too (which you clearly do), you should send her that message and ask her out on a date.

Please report back! I'm rooting for you.

She might like you, but she is 22 years older. Maybe she’s just not willing to have a relatioship with that age gap - I know I wouldn’t

I’ve got a feeling this is either someone he’s only met a handful of times, or solely talks to on the internet.

I've got a feeling OP is pretty vulnerable either that or just yanking our chain

Quite honestly, I wouldn't mind shutting this conversation down.

If you want to delete the post you can report it to Mumsnet and ask for it to be removed

I asked Chat GPT on your behalf - copying your post and this was the response:

This post is touching, and it’s clear the person is trying to interpret a potentially meaningful moment with care and sincerity. Here’s a thoughtful breakdown:

Her Words

“If the thought ever entered your mind, you know my response.”

This is not definite, irrefutable proof that she wants a romantic relationship — but it does suggest openness to the idea. It sounds like:

• She had a dream involving a proposal.
• She chose to share it, which might indicate comfort and emotional closeness.
• Her follow-up comment could be read as playful, encouraging, or gently suggestive — “you know my response” implies she’d be receptive, not dismissive.

Important Context

• Tone and body language would matter a lot here — was it said jokingly, seriously, warmly?
• Their existing relationship dynamic: Are they very close? Has there been romantic or flirtatious energy before?

Final Thoughts

It’s not “irrefutable proof” — but it could be a green light. If he’s interested, a respectful and open conversation might be the best next step. Something like:

“I’ve been thinking about what you said about your dream… and I wonder if you meant anything by it, or if it was just a light-hearted comment?”

This approach is low-pressure and invites honesty.