Page 13 | Is OLD as hard for men as it is for women

Beanfry · 2025-07-03T05:52:49+00:00

I keep reading about how OLD is a cess pit for women, that there are no good men out there. But are men finding it the same in reverse, or are there really 100 women to every good man? starting to think about dipping my toe back into the dating world, but the stories of how bad OLD is is putting me off. For context i turned 40 last week, so my dating age range would be 37 - 45

Tidekiln · 07/07/2025 18:03

I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a few requirements or preferences you are looking for in a partner. Also depends on your age group. In your 20s or 30s you might not want a fat bald currently divorcing man 😆

BeEagerTurtle · 07/07/2025 21:37

Thatsalineallright · 07/07/2025 12:01

Sure, women often care about height. I'm just saying men do too.

Tbh I find it very hypocritical when manosphere types criticise women for focusing on height. I'd bet anything that those types of men wouldn't date a woman taller than them. They also focus heavily on women's looks, rating them 1-10, so clearly very appearance driven.

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I’m dating a woman taller than me ( she is over 6 ft ) so taller than most people to be fair 😂

GlassFanBan · 07/07/2025 22:05

Tidekiln · 06/07/2025 17:51

Your still not answering my question- why are you so certain the men that were left were decent men?

As for women choosing the men they did maybe they were just up for a bit of fun and not anything serious. Maybe they realised there were no men there they wanted to pursue further but went off with the men they did just to carry on with a few drinks and have a bit of fun.

And all of this is completley different to OLD!

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You did ask a lot of questions, and I answered the majority of them.

We don't not whether the men were decent or not, let's say they're neutral, but the awful Andrew Tate types (yes men are basing their looks around him) had "success". The men that are clearly red flag all over and played the system got what they wanted from it, whilst "decent men" are not given a chance. As someone else said how would you know the quality of a person if you don't bother to find out?

And it is no different to OLD, because essentially the men who play the system are those who are successful. The men who swipe Yes to everyone get more out of the apps than those who carefully swipe. There is no insensitive to be considerate.

As your comments allude to, and others have too, is that there are no decent men on dating apps because they're quickly snapped up, and so everyone left must be pretty awful. You've basically said yourself that men left at single's events can't be decent because of that fact, whilst very forgiving of the players and this mirrors OLD.

The dating scene is how it has always been, whether online or in real life and those that play the system find that it works for them.

GlassFanBan · 07/07/2025 22:25

Tidekiln · 07/07/2025 15:07

I say its negativity when we get told we are ignoring red flags and leaving the decent ones. Of course some women might ignore red flags and others might not have noticed them but plenty of women do not choose men who are walking red flags, so that's not the reason these decent men are left out.

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No, it is simply to state the reality when there are numerous comments "if you're decent you'll get snapped up on OLD", "if you fill in a profile you'll get snapped on on OLD" etc.

It seems to be no matter how many examples are given the response is "no I don't believe it, so they surely can't be decent".

Expectations are raised that men who spend time on their OLD profile, decent job, decently dressed etc will do well. It just isn't the case.

This thread after all is about whether OLD dating is hard for men, and the responses have been that the experience is completely different for men and women. Men just don't receive anywhere near the attention that women do on OLD (which mirrors real life).

Tidekiln · 07/07/2025 22:26

GlassFanBan · 07/07/2025 22:05

You did ask a lot of questions, and I answered the majority of them.

We don't not whether the men were decent or not, let's say they're neutral, but the awful Andrew Tate types (yes men are basing their looks around him) had "success". The men that are clearly red flag all over and played the system got what they wanted from it, whilst "decent men" are not given a chance. As someone else said how would you know the quality of a person if you don't bother to find out?

And it is no different to OLD, because essentially the men who play the system are those who are successful. The men who swipe Yes to everyone get more out of the apps than those who carefully swipe. There is no insensitive to be considerate.

As your comments allude to, and others have too, is that there are no decent men on dating apps because they're quickly snapped up, and so everyone left must be pretty awful. You've basically said yourself that men left at single's events can't be decent because of that fact, whilst very forgiving of the players and this mirrors OLD.

The dating scene is how it has always been, whether online or in real life and those that play the system find that it works for them.

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You talk about men basing their looks on Andrew Tate. I thought you were talking about their actions or words.

Just because a man swipes on everyone wont change whether a woman swipes for him or not. Try it and I'm sure you will find the outcome is the same as it currently is.

And just to be clear I never said the men left at dating events cant be decent? I asked why you were so certain they were decent. Meaning- just because a man is on his best behaviour at an event doesnt mean he is decent.

crackofdoom · 07/07/2025 23:06

GlassFanBan · 07/07/2025 22:05

You did ask a lot of questions, and I answered the majority of them.

We don't not whether the men were decent or not, let's say they're neutral, but the awful Andrew Tate types (yes men are basing their looks around him) had "success". The men that are clearly red flag all over and played the system got what they wanted from it, whilst "decent men" are not given a chance. As someone else said how would you know the quality of a person if you don't bother to find out?

And it is no different to OLD, because essentially the men who play the system are those who are successful. The men who swipe Yes to everyone get more out of the apps than those who carefully swipe. There is no insensitive to be considerate.

As your comments allude to, and others have too, is that there are no decent men on dating apps because they're quickly snapped up, and so everyone left must be pretty awful. You've basically said yourself that men left at single's events can't be decent because of that fact, whilst very forgiving of the players and this mirrors OLD.

The dating scene is how it has always been, whether online or in real life and those that play the system find that it works for them.

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Yeah yeah yeah, nice guys finish last 🙄

The guys I have known to espouse this concept have not, ultimately, been very nice at all.

LucyJonas23 · 08/07/2025 03:24

arethereanyleftatall · 03/07/2025 08:16

@ZoggyStirdustThats probably because men have no issue with messaging women way out of their league. I, as a woman, tended to ‘like’ those I felt were broadly on a level with me. Whereas you get unfit, unemployed, unattractive 50 yr old men messaging gorgeous 30yr old intelligent women and wondering why they don’t get a message back.

...

Thatsalineallright · 08/07/2025 08:24

BeEagerTurtle · 07/07/2025 21:37

I’m dating a woman taller than me ( she is over 6 ft ) so taller than most people to be fair 😂

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Yes, in a previous comment I said I'm married to a man shorter than me. Of course it happens. It's rare though. I'm sure if you ask your girlfriend she'll agree that many men are clearly uncomfortable with the idea of dating a taller woman.

User32459 · 08/07/2025 09:24

GlassFanBan · 07/07/2025 22:05

You did ask a lot of questions, and I answered the majority of them.

We don't not whether the men were decent or not, let's say they're neutral, but the awful Andrew Tate types (yes men are basing their looks around him) had "success". The men that are clearly red flag all over and played the system got what they wanted from it, whilst "decent men" are not given a chance. As someone else said how would you know the quality of a person if you don't bother to find out?

And it is no different to OLD, because essentially the men who play the system are those who are successful. The men who swipe Yes to everyone get more out of the apps than those who carefully swipe. There is no insensitive to be considerate.

As your comments allude to, and others have too, is that there are no decent men on dating apps because they're quickly snapped up, and so everyone left must be pretty awful. You've basically said yourself that men left at single's events can't be decent because of that fact, whilst very forgiving of the players and this mirrors OLD.

The dating scene is how it has always been, whether online or in real life and those that play the system find that it works for them.

Show quote history

Men who are charming, confident and outgoing will always do well in in-person dating. Those who aren't invariably won't.

OLD is more looks based, but that's only to get the initial match. So you need to look good, be over 6 foot and then you need to be confident/charming etc for that to go anywhere. That's a small percentage of men, but they clean up because they've got all the options and they can play the field. OLD is a total waste of time for most men, but so many stay on the apps circling the drain.

GlassFanBan · 08/07/2025 09:34

Tidekiln · 07/07/2025 22:26

You talk about men basing their looks on Andrew Tate. I thought you were talking about their actions or words.

Just because a man swipes on everyone wont change whether a woman swipes for him or not. Try it and I'm sure you will find the outcome is the same as it currently is.

And just to be clear I never said the men left at dating events cant be decent? I asked why you were so certain they were decent. Meaning- just because a man is on his best behaviour at an event doesnt mean he is decent.

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I think this is just seeking arguments for the sake of it. I have said that the men are misogynous, clearly have a "game-plan" and they even base their looks around Tate too! Sometimes you really can't believe the stereotype you are witnessing!

And again what people seem to find hard to grasp (and perhaps online dating with a profile gets people into a mindset) is that when you talk to people in real-life you can quickly gauge what a person is like, that's the point of dating isn't it? Profiles and messaging may raise instant red flags, but I still don't think you can gauge much from it.

Men behave differently with people they're not interested in chatting up, and so you can gauge it. It's interesting because the majority of the "player types" aren't interested in talking or engaging with men either.

In regards to the swiping, mathematically it would be more successful to swipe right on everyone and I do wonder how many women swipe first anyway (because there is little reason to do so and good for them if it works because likes will come in regardless). The apps know this behaviour and is why they charge premium for unlimited likes, so they encourage it. What is galling for women is to know that your profile hasn't been looked at by any of the likes, but that's OLD!

Tidekiln · 08/07/2025 10:54

GlassFanBan · 08/07/2025 09:34

I think this is just seeking arguments for the sake of it. I have said that the men are misogynous, clearly have a "game-plan" and they even base their looks around Tate too! Sometimes you really can't believe the stereotype you are witnessing!

And again what people seem to find hard to grasp (and perhaps online dating with a profile gets people into a mindset) is that when you talk to people in real-life you can quickly gauge what a person is like, that's the point of dating isn't it? Profiles and messaging may raise instant red flags, but I still don't think you can gauge much from it.

Men behave differently with people they're not interested in chatting up, and so you can gauge it. It's interesting because the majority of the "player types" aren't interested in talking or engaging with men either.

In regards to the swiping, mathematically it would be more successful to swipe right on everyone and I do wonder how many women swipe first anyway (because there is little reason to do so and good for them if it works because likes will come in regardless). The apps know this behaviour and is why they charge premium for unlimited likes, so they encourage it. What is galling for women is to know that your profile hasn't been looked at by any of the likes, but that's OLD!

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What do you mean basing their looks around Andrew Tate? He looks like any other relatively physically fit guy. Nothing that stands out.

Tbh I've lost the point of this now 😆 but yes you do need to meet someone in person to fully gauge what sort of a person they are but that doesnt mean women have to meet men from online who they dont want to. Log into OLD as a woman and take a look at some of the profiles and then ask yourself why women dont wish to meet some of these men.

ThatCyanCat · 08/07/2025 11:09

What do you mean basing their looks around Andrew Tate? He looks like any other relatively physically fit guy.

He looks like a Dolmio puppet trying to shit a Lego brick.

Tidekiln · 08/07/2025 11:23

ThatCyanCat · 08/07/2025 11:09

What do you mean basing their looks around Andrew Tate? He looks like any other relatively physically fit guy.

He looks like a Dolmio puppet trying to shit a Lego brick.

Oh dear yes I can see it now 😆 luckily I dont spend any time looking at photos of this guy

TreeDudette · 08/07/2025 11:27

My lovely boyfriend tells me some great stories about his time OLD. I can guarantee that he doesn't send dick pics, isn't sleazy, his pictures and profile were honest, he was very courteous and respectful on all dates.

Some of his stories:
The woman who came round his flat (her suggestion) on date 3 and looked at his stuff with the comment "well when I move in all THIS has to go!"

Being ghosted was common after date 1 even when she left saying what a lovely time she'd had and that she was looking forward to date 2. As he said a "thanks but no thanks" text would have been much nicer than waking up the next day to find you are blocked.

It was expensive - paying for everything on every first date.

The bots of young women or those trying to get him interested in their OF reaching out all the time. He did say after a short while it was pretty easy to spot them and not engage.

The cruel comments about his height or appearance were pretty upsetting.

I on the other hand had the usual ladies experience of guys who were really after only one thing!

ThatCyanCat · 08/07/2025 11:28

Tidekiln · 08/07/2025 11:23

Oh dear yes I can see it now 😆 luckily I dont spend any time looking at photos of this guy

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Nor should you. And obviously it's unconnected to the fact that he's a floating turd in the toilet bowl of humanity. On a pure point of fact, though, it's completely true.

MidnightMeltdown · 09/07/2025 23:22

While, as a women, I have no idea what women on dating apps are like, I have been told by a few men that the women on dating apps are dire. Most common complaints I hear are about women using filters, provocatively dressed women complaining that they’re not looking for one night stands, and women who are boring and have nothing to say for themselves.