Does gender matter to you in an age gap relationship?

[NewTiger]

I feel lot of people don't care if it's a 19 year old boy for example dating a 40 year old woman but lot of people care if it was a girl with a man.

I would feel the same for my boy or girl, but for boy especially because of how ignored they are, and how immature they are. Yes they can't get pregnant but there's power imbalance still.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4600596-40year-old-female-friend-dating-19-year-old-male?page=2

Typical mumsnet, half of the posters are defending the 40 yo woman.

Women here (or men?) denying it here is laughable.

Are you kidding me? Society meltsdown if a 19 year man has a relationship with a 40 year old woman.
They castigate the woman, call her a cougar and call her predatory. Look at Macron and Brigitte. (There were other issue than the age as well) but celebrates and accepts it if an older man dates a 19 year old woman. e.g Leo, Brad Pitt, Anthony Kiedis...Nobody bats an eye. The press laud them as do other pathetic men.

But whether it's a younger man and much older woman, or a much older man etc , it's a power imbalance either way and rarely in favour of the younger partner.

I just posted a thread that says otherwise and proves you wrong. This is laughable, a cougar is a compliment, not an insult. Very few people call them names, they simply get away with it.

Men get called pedos non stop.

True. The only thing stopping some men from sleeping with 10 years olds is the law. If they made the age of consent much lower in the UK, older men would definitely sleep with them.
I remember getting beeped at by lorry drivers when walking with my friend back from a local garden centre we used to meet at. We were 12.
It used to happen every time.
I think now about those lorry drivers, they were married probably with sons or daughters my age. I find it chilling that men of that age beeped their horns at 12 year old girls.

No, older women in the public eye with teenage boyfriends get abuse. Older women with younger boyfriends who are maybe men in their 20s get called a cougar.

Men with teenage girlfriends sometimes get called pedos but that's quite recent. And honestly, some of them are skirting the definition of pedo, aren't they? Bill Wyman and Mandy Smith? She was 13. What is he if not a pedo?

There is something to be said for the half plus seven rule in my opinion.

Regardless, I agree there are different standards depending on who the older person is, and whether it is or is not a same sex relationship.

Cougar is not abuse. You even blamed poor 17 year old Harry for being groomed by that nasty woman.

Show me prove how the woman is called pedo, predator, creep etc, I am waiting.

Thanks for admitting it. I think the rule is ridiculous though.

I did not apportion any blame at all. I said they were both messy. Which - they are/were.

I also never said cougar is a term of abuse. I agree that it isn't. But it isn't used of women who have relationship with teenage boys, either. They get called pedo, groomer, sick, etc.

"Flack's career has been punctuated by tabloid condemnation of her love life; she received online abuse in 2011 for her relationship with Harry Styles, resulting in her being brandished a 'paedophile' by reporters in the street."

from https://therelease.co.uk/caroline-flack-be-kind You can go to any tabloid article about it at the time and see the below-the-line abuse she was getting, if you're inclined to.

I can tell your English isn't great, but I can also tell you're here to prove a point that cannot be proven.

Just remembered Harry Styles had a girlfriend 10 years older than him - she was 37/38? And he was a full-grown man. But she got relentless abuse online.

(I'm not sure why I know so much about his love life, ha!)

Whoever finds teenage boys attractive?? Seriously…most of them are disgusting little freaks 😆
Every time I see them I shudder and think: yuck! 😩

It grosses me out that anyone male or female at 40 would look at a teenager and see anything but a child. The older iv got the younger everyone else looks. That is what's suppose to happen and the people who dont seem to have that part of the brain are usually paedophiles

Those are reporters. I wonder what the public thought? I gave evidence of everyday people hating on the man. Reporters want drama, of course they'd call her a pedo. Why did you mention cougar then? I don't see the point. Women are called milf and cougar when they go after teens by men. This is common, they get complimented that way.

I asked to see comments from public, not reporters, that's very poor evidence.

And I'd doubt you'd call a 17 year old girl messy with a 32 year old man.

You asked and I told you where you can find them. Now go and sort your own research out.

You are quite odd.

Lol if you speak to men, you'd know the things women do to boys. Of course it gets either shrugged or never comes out.

I gave you direct thread of people defending middle aged women with teens, right on this site. Carolyn would probably be defended too on here.

Yet you still deny it.
Very odd.

My DSC's mother is 55 and seeing a 38 year old man. I think it's very weird and so do my DSC!

I don't think it matters which way round the gender is or if single sex, I think all age gap relationships more than 10 years are inappropriate. If the younger party is under 24 then I would reduce that figure to 5 years.

Nobody said women don't abuse, but 98% of the abusers are men. There's no getting around that fact.

And often the women are coerced into taking images etc

Men are the dirty, sex obsessed people in society. A shocking amount would happily rape a child if they didn't think they'd get caught.

That's very judgemental and generalising. You are talking about a tiny percentage of men.

BTW, studies show about 20 percent of pedophiles are women, plus it's a hugely ignored issue. There are probably many more if boys would actually speak more.

No, those women are not coerced, they do it to exploit teens usually and children. Stop defending those perverted women.

You asked a question, and then you're point blank refusing to accept any answers of any personal experience outside your own.

What is the point in this thread when all you want is an echo chamber for whatever grudge you have against women, which is becoming more evident the more you write.

I have always been in age gap relationships, of varying sizes.

First long term relationship - I was 16 and he was 21, everyone else thought that was weird, his family were disgusted, his friends called him a paedophile, etc.

Ex husband - I was 22 and he was 27 when we met, nobody batted an eye.

Current partner - I was 32 and he was 42, now 35 and 44. Nobody cares. In the slightest. His ex wife sometimes gives him the “cradle snatcher” routine but she’s an idiot, everyone else has ever even mentioned the age difference.

I think, whilst my differences have never been over 10 years, it’s actually more to do with the age you are when you meet. I was a child at 16, with a man who had a job and a child of his own. It is weird, and it’s not proper consent, there’s a definite imbalance. There’s no imbalance with my partner now, we’re both adults.

It’s the involvement of teenagers and very young adults that’s the issue.

Hahaha, are you serious? What’s weird about a 55 year-old being in a relationship with a 38 year-old? If it were 35 & 18, there might be a risk of grooming, but a 38 year-old is a fully grown man!

Because they are a generation apart, he could be her son. I never suggested it was grooming, purely that I find it weird and they look odd. I personally wouldn't want to be with a partner who could pass as my son. Maybe some women think they've still "got it" a bit like the sad older men do with younger women. I would be wondering why on earth the chap can't get someone his own age, was it some strange kink or was he wanting to be looked after (sugar mummy). Either way it wouldn't appeal to me and I wouldn't find them attractive.
OP was asking if it's only older men who are judged, I was just illustrating IMHO, it's either gender.

17 year age gap is barley young enough to be her son. The gap between generations is far greater than 17 years given people are having children much later. But anyway, if two people are happy together and there was no grooming/obvious power imbalance - which is the case when the younger party is 38! - what does it matter what people outside the relationship think?!

Also, lots of men simply prefer older women. Not because they want a sugar mummy, or it’s a kink (whatever the hell that means - is having a type a kink now?! 😂), but because they are attracted to their relative maturity and experience, plus there’s no risk of an unwanted pregnancy.