Does gender matter to you in an age gap relationship?

[NewTiger]

I feel lot of people don't care if it's a 19 year old boy for example dating a 40 year old woman but lot of people care if it was a girl with a man.

I would feel the same for my boy or girl, but for boy especially because of how ignored they are, and how immature they are. Yes they can't get pregnant but there's power imbalance still.

Look at the recent thread where a woman asks if it's gross her husbands 42 year old friend is going after a 19 year old, 99 percent of people calling him a creep or worse. Very few people saying it's OK, both legal, none of our business.

If that was a 42 year old woman, the opinions would be split then.

What does that mean? Of course we see such relationships in all three locations.

I never ever seen a relationship where the man is older and girl under 25 that didn't get hate like that poster was saying, let alone a teen.

Oh I see. I think it very much depends on the audience. An all male audience? Totally different from a largely female one. Also: Epstein’s island? Do you think all those famous men disapproved of what they, themselves, were doing?

I honestly don't know, I don't know much about it anyway.

That's because it's it men that are generally the dirty padeos and will normalise a 45 year old man having sex with a 18yo. It's grim.

That's because women hide it better and get ignored mostly when they sleep with teens, so people think it's mostly men.

I seen tons of women encouraging other women sleeping with teens too. The "you go girl, men been doing it all the time" thing is popular among women.

The hypocrisy is comical.

It is mostly men that are attracted to minors. They're the ones accessing and distributing material, grooming children etc.
And a significant amount will be choosing to groom,and then act when they're 18, so legal, but they look young enough to be 15 or whatever.

Women aren't the danger in society, which is why they can "get away" with it.

My relationship is age gap. I'm 50, he's 35.

It's not something we think about day to day really. I look a bit younger, he looks a bit older. At the start I think I was paranoid when we went out that people were staring but as time wore on I realised it was my imagination and most people don't look twice at either of us. We're happy. People will judge but friends and family really just see us as 'us' and not the age difference.

There are far more women doing this than people think. People let them off because they are women, it's a gender bias.

I think the situation about the grooming before 18 and then commiting to it once legal is not common though.

That's a normal age difference. I am talking about when the younger person is 18 to 20 or so when people get mad.

Oh absolutely, and I agree.
But we do live in a society where age gaps in older life are ridiculed. I've been called cougar, he's been called my boy toy. We've had the jokes about him wheeling my round in a wheelchair and giving me my medication. It gets old, the judgement wears after a while.

There is a wide difference between an age gap of 5, 10, 20 years between adults and that between an adult and a teenager. Also between a sexual relationship and a love relationship. They should not be confused for one another.

Agreed. I am obviously talking about when the person is so young. 18 and 19 year olds while teens, are adults too though, just pointing that out.

Remember Caroline Flack and Harry Styles: she got absolutely battered online for that. And it's uncomfortable. He really looked like a kid. He was a kid. I can't imagine a 31-year-old man and a 17-year-old girl causing the man to be abused.

My partner knows a mid forties woman with a 19 year old boyfriend. I think it's absolutely grim. I refuse to speak to her and it does make me lose respect for DP that he thinks she's a nice woman. I don't consider predators nice.

Harry was 18?

If Harry was with a 31 year old man, he'd get hated for it.

Both are grim but the older men disturb me more, because I know what their sleazy thoughts are.

I know it happens sooo often between older women and very young men but people deny it still.

@ButteredRadishes

What are they?

I don't think you can assume what people think.

No, he was 17.

How nasty.

She definitely has a problem. Seems like a groomer.

That's what people said (turned out she had a lot of MH problems). The whole situation was kind of vile. A lot of tabloid copy generated. She was very messy but then so is he, a bit. Just...17? Yikes.

Yes you keep saying this. I asked for the many examples where youre saying they dont get abuse for it.