Does gender matter to you in an age gap relationship?

[NewTiger]

I feel lot of people don't care if it's a 19 year old boy for example dating a 40 year old woman but lot of people care if it was a girl with a man.

I would feel the same for my boy or girl, but for boy especially because of how ignored they are, and how immature they are. Yes they can't get pregnant but there's power imbalance still.

Lmao I could say the exact same things about you and few others. How hypocritical.

My question stated if you would care whether it was your son or daughter in the relationship, but lot of people went off topic so this discussion is long lost.

Unless you've lived a very sheltered life you do know unfortunately there are plenty of girls still having kids at age 17 and under don't you? So "barley" is a bit deluded (and presumably a typo).

Sounds like I hit a nerve! 🤭

A 19yr old and 40yo old anything, any which way is just disgusting really.
Wtf is a 40yo doing with a teenager?

Yes I would absolutely care if my 19 year old son or daughter was in a relationship with someone much older. Nothing to do with gender.

It is very rare for a 17 year-old to have a child, we all know that. The average age of a first time mum is over 30 now. These are the facts.

And no, not all hit a nerve, DP and I are almost same age. I just don’t see anything wrong with a woman in her 50s being in a relationship with a man in his 30s, and I find it bizarre / incredibly judgemental that some people do.

I actually agree with you on this. A 19 year-old with someone 10-20 years older would be a cause for concern. But a 38 year-old? Not in the slightest.

I would be concerned regardless of gender, but would be more concerned about a young women. Mainly because it’s extremely common for men to groom young women for sex, particularly men in a position of power (e.g. a boss), while women are far less likely to be groomers.

What do you consider grooming?

People these days use the word grooming all the time when it specifically is supposed to be applied to underage kids.

As seen on this site, and everywhere else, women go after young boys frequently and sometimes girls too. I don't know if it's "grooming" but I would consider what these women do no different to what men do.

Grooming: "the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them or inducing them to commit an illegal act such as selling drugs or joining a terrorist organisation".
Normally an adult with power, influence or money targeting a young person who is often vulnerable. No it doesn't have to be underage.

@NewTiger your last comment is absolute nonsense. There may be a very small minority of women that do this but it's predominantly men. Both equally predatory.

We can agree to disagree. I don't see it as a cause for concern, just odd.

A lot of people conflate grooming with child sexual assault. Grooming can be part of CSA but it’s not the same thing. Adults can be groomed too. It’s explained here:

https://www.caage.org/what-is-adult-grooming

Are you a forty year old man with a 19 year old girlfriend OP?

It's not nonsense, research it yourself, and speak to men, and you'll see there are just as many women doing it. Even on this site there are tons.

By that definition, consensual sex does not refer to grooming. I don't know why it's used here, we are not discussing sexual assault or illegal crimes, but consensual relationship.

Consensual sex can absolutely involve grooming. Grooming is not synonymous with rape.