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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Giving in too early - update

80 replies

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 18/06/2025 21:54

So. The guy I met at the gym who said “he wants me to get worn in by his dick” saw me on Monday. Was peacocking all over the gym and trying to be near me. I had a chat with him outside. Smacked his bum and jokingly said nice arse outside and walked off.

Honesly he couldn’t have got closer to me on Monday if he tried. Then yesterday he wasn’t there. So I didn’t bother messaging or texting him because I couldn’t see the point I just saw him.

today was much less performative. Didn’t really do as much. Still tested the proximity with me and came closer. Quite a few times.

so we left together and I tried to have the convo with him about what this was. He just said “I don’t see much serious coming from this but that could change” so I kept trying to understand what exactly his point was here but he just wouldn’t talk to me and repeatedly walked off.

he asked me to call him. I did. He didn’t answer. I just ended it all unfollowed him.

BTW he said my red flags were: getting annoyed that he chucked a receipt at me and putting in a boundary saying can you not. On a level don’t throw things at me. Then also he kept calling women bitches and I smacked his mouth because he said I’ll be his bitch. (I said sorry immediately as violence is never okay)

I tried decoding all the signals of him coming closer on my way home. I cried to my mum. She said block delete and move on. So I did. And I’ll never hear from him again I suppose.

OP posts:
Twelftytwo · 18/06/2025 21:56

Wtf have I just read

Tallyrand · 18/06/2025 21:57

Reads like a shit episode of Love Island

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 18/06/2025 21:59

You’re the red flag.

MauriceTheMussel · 18/06/2025 22:01

Are you all 12?

supercali77 · 18/06/2025 22:02

Leave this alone. Change gyms. He's not serious and I don't know what you're doing here at all. Especially not after his comment that you found incredibly offensive...why tf are you smacking his arse?? Why are you asking him what this is?? What are you doing? You found him offensive.

DorothyStorm · 18/06/2025 22:06

op, he is a wrongun. Leave well alone.

gsiftpoffu · 18/06/2025 22:17

Why the fuck did you even entertain this prick again after what he said the other day?
Nearly everyone on your other thread told you to bin the fucker and not contact him again.
But here we are.

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 18/06/2025 22:27

gsiftpoffu · 18/06/2025 22:17

Why the fuck did you even entertain this prick again after what he said the other day?
Nearly everyone on your other thread told you to bin the fucker and not contact him again.
But here we are.

My insecurity allowed him to speak to me. But it’s ok I’m done now

OP posts:
OneFineDay13 · 18/06/2025 22:27

What a strange thread

GlamOrc · 18/06/2025 22:29

Twelftytwo · 18/06/2025 21:56

Wtf have I just read

The end of humanity and civilisation as we know it.

Fun, isn't it?

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 18/06/2025 22:29

supercali77 · 18/06/2025 22:02

Leave this alone. Change gyms. He's not serious and I don't know what you're doing here at all. Especially not after his comment that you found incredibly offensive...why tf are you smacking his arse?? Why are you asking him what this is?? What are you doing? You found him offensive.

i guess I enjoyed the attention briefly. It just made me feel a bit wanted I suppose? But I know I’ve planned to go in the morning

OP posts:
Missj25 · 18/06/2025 22:40

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 18/06/2025 21:54

So. The guy I met at the gym who said “he wants me to get worn in by his dick” saw me on Monday. Was peacocking all over the gym and trying to be near me. I had a chat with him outside. Smacked his bum and jokingly said nice arse outside and walked off.

Honesly he couldn’t have got closer to me on Monday if he tried. Then yesterday he wasn’t there. So I didn’t bother messaging or texting him because I couldn’t see the point I just saw him.

today was much less performative. Didn’t really do as much. Still tested the proximity with me and came closer. Quite a few times.

so we left together and I tried to have the convo with him about what this was. He just said “I don’t see much serious coming from this but that could change” so I kept trying to understand what exactly his point was here but he just wouldn’t talk to me and repeatedly walked off.

he asked me to call him. I did. He didn’t answer. I just ended it all unfollowed him.

BTW he said my red flags were: getting annoyed that he chucked a receipt at me and putting in a boundary saying can you not. On a level don’t throw things at me. Then also he kept calling women bitches and I smacked his mouth because he said I’ll be his bitch. (I said sorry immediately as violence is never okay)

I tried decoding all the signals of him coming closer on my way home. I cried to my mum. She said block delete and move on. So I did. And I’ll never hear from him again I suppose.

OP please come on , guys like this are 🤮..

supercali77 · 18/06/2025 22:47

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 18/06/2025 22:29

i guess I enjoyed the attention briefly. It just made me feel a bit wanted I suppose? But I know I’ve planned to go in the morning

Give yourself the attention. Favourite movie. Nice bath. A talking to. A good freind on the phone.

Richiewoo · 18/06/2025 22:50

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 18/06/2025 22:27

My insecurity allowed him to speak to me. But it’s ok I’m done now

You're insecure. But you were feeling up his bum.

Lillibridge · 19/06/2025 00:06

I presume you're both in your 50s..

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 19/06/2025 00:07

Lillibridge · 19/06/2025 00:06

I presume you're both in your 50s..

late 20s

OP posts:
fraughtcouture · 19/06/2025 00:22

Twelftytwo · 18/06/2025 21:56

Wtf have I just read

This. Why post this twaddle, for attention?

DelphiniumBlue · 19/06/2025 01:01

Your second sentence tells me that this man is not someone to speak to, let alone get involved with.

Devianinc · 19/06/2025 01:05

And? What are looking for. He’s sounds so creepy and smarmy I might gag. Ewwww

Frostynoman · 19/06/2025 01:10

He’s going to blow hot and cold and be a complete and total waste of space to reel you in. He’s telling you he wants sex and nothing else. Just don’t do it. It won’t be worth it. Take the time you’d lose to him and get some therapy.

LittlleMy · 19/06/2025 01:14

Lillibridge · 19/06/2025 00:06

I presume you're both in your 50s..

Tf would you think 50s?! 😂 I immediately thought 20s which is the correct decade!

AutumnFroglets · 19/06/2025 01:30

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 18/06/2025 22:29

i guess I enjoyed the attention briefly. It just made me feel a bit wanted I suppose? But I know I’ve planned to go in the morning

i guess I enjoyed the attention briefly. It just made me feel a bit wanted I suppose

Is this also why you've posted this "update"? Because you want attention, any attention, good or bad? If yes then I recommend you seek counselling asap to find out why you are so needy that you will accept even harmful and offensive attention. Until you have worked out the why, and put the right boundaries in place, you are ripe to be eaten alive by an manipulative, controlling abusive man. Perhaps start off with The Freedom Programme.

MeTooOverHere · 19/06/2025 01:38

LittlleMy · 19/06/2025 01:14

Tf would you think 50s?! 😂 I immediately thought 20s which is the correct decade!

This. I'd hope those of us 50+ would know better.

Devianinc · 19/06/2025 01:54

MauriceTheMussel · 18/06/2025 22:01

Are you all 12?

10

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 19/06/2025 03:58

Then also he kept calling women bitches and I smacked his mouth because he said I’ll be his bitch. (I said sorry immediately as violence is never okay)

You smacked his mouth?