Is this A Thing now?? (sex-related)

[Spf50AndAbove]

Split up with exH 5 years ago and in that time I have slept with 5 men since. Out of these, 4 of them have not reached climax most or all of the times we slept together. I found it really weird. They just 'kept going' for literally hours. We would have sex for a bit then have a break / rest then more sex. But they didn't cum. Or they only came once or twice out of many times.

Is it a porn thing? One of them was quite open about his porn usage 😒

I remember back in 90s / y2k there was lots of talk of premature ejaculation but this is like the opposite of that. They just didn't seem to be able to 'finish' at all.

The only other thing I can think of is secretly taking viagra? But sometimes they'd lose their erections so I am not sure it was this.

The 5th guy, the odd one out, was very apologetic as he only lasted for about 10 / 15 mins or so but honestly it was much nicer having "normal" sex for a normal amount of time rather than some weirdly long sex marathon.

When I was married we would have sex for a normal length of time. But we stopped having sex in about 2018. So I am just wondering whether this is now the done thing!

What type of man would that be?

My partner was like this and it was definitely the masturbation/porn combined. Death grip. Not even age related as he’s younger than me.

I feel like it’s so common now that they don’t even notice what they’re doing to themselves.

When ever I have been with someone who’s taken viagra this has happened…..not with anyone else, usually the opposite. Recently been in a relationship with someone in their 50’s who lasted seconds 😬.

My ex could last hours if he'd had an alcoholic drink, compared to his 5 minutes sober. Something to consider 🤔

Neither of mine drank.

Let's face it, it's porn. It's a noted phenomenon.

Ive been married for years but there was a stage in my twenties where I kept meeting men like this.
The problem ended up being..
Porn
In the closet
Cocaine
I found this out after, I thought the problem was me for a while.

My husband prefers this kinda sex tbh. We've never have it less than 45mins but he's into a few hours

To add a male perspective - it could be viagra/cialis or too much porn use. Both sound credible. But also, the thing about condoms being desensitising is definitely real. Obviously that's no good reason a man should refuse to wear one, but there genuinely is a huge difference in sensitivity between wearing one and not. If I'm wearing one, I could more or less go indefinitely and would have to concentrate in order to come; if not, then I would in a 'normal' timeframe.

In defence of my fellow men, I've been in the position of not being able to come, and I've even faked it from time to time (yes, this is possible - if you're wearing a condom you just make sure she doesn't look too closely at the point you take it off after you've 'come'). Only now and again - and actually mostly because I was a bit nervous or anxious or with somebody unfamiliar. It's like the opposite of premature ejaculation. You're hard. But you just can't seem to get over the edge.

Thinking back over my life, the times when that has happened have mostly been when in a casual thing or on a one-night stand. So it could just be that. You could dress that up negatively but let's be honest, whether you're a man or woman, sex in general tends to be better with somebody you feel a deep connection with, right?

This explains so much .... thanks.

I was going to suggest antidepressants.. but seems more likely it's cocaine 🤣 what a sheltered life I lead

This happened a lot to guys I was seeing in my twenties. It was almost always alcohol.

It's porn & frequent masturbation.
Viagra doesn't delay ejaculation (there are studies).

Sounds unusual OP - viagra would be my guess. There’s often a thought that it only helps to sustain an erection but it actually also helps them to last longer.

Is there a way of feeling out these men before the bedroom?
So weeding out drug and drink habits, depression meds, attitude to porn...what else?

Why would they be taking Viagra at those ages though?

It could be antidepressants, my husband has had periods on Sertraline and he can’t cum, I think it’s a common side effect.

Antidepressants?

Cross posted!

Personally this is weird, ive never been with a man that hasnt climaxed during sex within about 15 minutes? If a guy was humping away for that long I'd leave

Age is probably part of it at least… Younger men are just naturally more virile! I’ve noticed that the time my DH takes (early 50s now) is definitely longer than when he was in his late 20s when I met him.

Probably just a bit anxious about not being able to get it up and taking it to be 'on the safe side'.

Strange comment… Most men say condoms have a desensitising effect.

Plenty of men think this and still use them.

👏

No thanks!!