Birthday disappointment

[Thiscant]

Hi all,

Just needed somewhere to vent. It was my birthday recently and I am feeling really let down.

I live with my partner, we have a had a bit of a rough year. Various health/family issues.

I spoke a lot about my birthday over the past few weeks and had said I was really looking forward to it this year as I needed a day to get excited over. He ruined last years birthday by being hungover and not really making much effort. So I was almost prompting him to do better.

Woke up yesterday morning, he said happy birthday and that he was going out to grab us coffee. He came back with coffee, a card and flowers. So basically he went out to the supermarket to get me the card and the flowers (prices still attached etc, all very last minute).

He was talking about how they were my favourite flowers and how he remembered. They aren't my favourite flowers, we have this conversation every birthday and valentines. They are his ex wife's favourite flowers. We have been together ten years, I can't keep saying the same thing.

He said we could go out in the afternoon do a bit of shopping and get lunch. I spent the morning myself getting ready, afternoon came and he was simply too busy. We ran out for 40 minutes to a chain restaurant and got a quick bite to eat and straight home. He then bank transferred me some money to do online shopping for my own present. I made a comment about the romance of it all.

I am feeling really let down. I spent the rest of the day on my own, utterly miserable.

He told me this morning we are going out with his friend tonight, I really don't want to go. Why should I make the effort for his friend when I got absolutely no consideration on the one day a year that's mines?

Am I petty? I am feeling totally taken for granted. I always put him, our family, our home before myself. Is it too much to want one day for me?

So, what are you getting out of this OP? Not much but grief and anger by the sounds of it. And justifiably so. Life's too short for this.

I really dont understand why you say you like him OP.

I can understand that you liked the man he used to be earlier in your relationship.
But he is treating you awfully - and especially given your health.

I can't get over the fact he buys you his ex wife's favourite flowers. It's an absolute slap in the face. And tells you just how little you even register on his radar.

You seem to be bending over backwards to facilitate his life.

You really should put yourself first OP because he is just taking advantage of you.

Am I petty? I am feeling totally taken for granted. I always put him, our family, our home before myself. Is it too much to want one day for me?

Oh come on Op. you’re not putting your child or grandchildren before yourself are you? They only visit you when he’s not around…. I mean this would mean your daughter can’t stand your partner. This must really limit the time to get to see you child and grandchildren, because you choose to stay with someone like this and put him before every one else.

OP, I feel sympathy for you because you’re with a dick. However, you don’t have any kids together, and you work, so I really can’t see why you enduring this op.

And as for hoping for a special birthday? Last year was a complete flop, and the days since then have been shit. Why would you think he’d put any effort in to it?