To fart or not to fart?

[ConfusedMiddleAgedDater]

I’m about a month into seeing a guy, who is head over heels with me (and backs that up with actions). I like him a lot but am cautious in early days, don’t like to rush things.

Last night, I can’t remember how it came up but he said farting in a relationship is completely natural. I said maybe after 10 years but if he did it now he’d be straight out that door. He thought this was hilarious and said he’d dutch oven me. You’d be forgiven for thinking he’s 5 years old, he’s actually 40! He did say he’d never fart infront of my mum if he met her, so clearly he does have some boundaries, but apparently his family and friends all regularly do infront of each other.

I honestly would end things if he did that with me. I’m talking intentionally not accidental. fwiw we’re both very into kink (not farting related, but definitely not a prude, just think its disgusting).

Am asking here to understand which of us is living in a parallel universe!

People often can’t help farting, and can’t control it. Doing it deliberately is of course disgusting. I

You'd dump someone for farting in front of you? Or for the Dutch oven?

Tbh he probably had belly ache and wanted to let rip and was testing the waters 😂

I think it's best to get the farting shyness out of the way soonest.
Everyone farts. It's not disgusting to me.

It depends. Letting a fart out when it's just the two of you as he walks round the bedroom is natural. Performatively getting your attention first, deliberately doing it right next to you, or any form of stupid action to make the smell worse are all the actions of an attention seeking prick.

I always find it funny that you will shag someone first rather than fart in front of them. To me farting in front of your partner is one of "those" stages in a LTR. Might just be me though.

Everyone farts. That’s life. Being offended by it is ridiculous.
Having teenagers who are truly proud of outstanding farts kind of skews my bar though.
If anyone Dutch ovened me I’d be out the door, that’s not ok with me, but it is for others.

No. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks it's ok to fart in front of me, ever.

That it happens, occasionally and accidentally, or in their sleep, sure. It happens.

That they get so comfortable that they think it's ok and not something to take outside/to the bathroom all the times they can control it, hell no.

And I'm fine with this being a boundary. Other people are fine with it - so those people should date each other.
I want to stay sexually attracted to my partner, and if they farted in front of me more than occasionally and inadvertently, that would disappear pretty fast.

Wow. Is all I can say to that.

@WrylyAmusedThankyou for reminding me about boundaries and how the only thing that matters in this (from my perspective) is how I feel. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the “Am i the outlier/problem” but actually, even if that’s the case, it’s not what I want.

Farting is a normal bodily function.

In the early days of our relationship, I’d wait until I went to the loo, or excuse myself to another room and let them out.
I remember clearly the first time I farted in front of DH 😂 I’d been poorly, felt so exhausted, I didn’t want to excuse myself to another room. So I stayed lying on the sofa and just said “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to fart” - he laughed and said “Omg the first fart of the relationship! How special!” 😂😂😂
And since then? We try to be polite about it…..but if I need to fart, I’m going to fart in my own house 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I can forgive accidental farting, but farting intentionally in someone else's presence is grim and shows a lack of respect.

@ConfusedMiddleAgedDater

Even royalty had this problem!

• *This Earl of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travel [for] 7 years. On his return the Queen welcomed him home, and said, 'My Lord, I had forgot the Fart'.
• Anecdote recorded by John Aubrey in Brief Lives (1693)*.

-

I was always really funny about it but then after DH watched me giving birth to our DS I just felt like well he's seen me at my absolute worst so🤷

Let it all out!

This.
My DH has seen it all 😂
He held a bin for me so I could vomit in it while I simultaneously shit the whole world into the toilet when I had norovirus last year 😂😂🫠
After that? What’s a little fart between spouses 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

@MsNevermore 100% get that in your situation. We’ve been speaking a month tomorrow. Can’t a girl get a little early days romance?

I would dump for the Dutch oven, that’s disgusting. General farting is acceptable in marriage but not when you want to be sexually attractive

Like you need to fart or you don't surely.

I aren't getting up off the sofa to fart in another room. Not a chance, and I'd never expect anyone else to

I get it when it’s early on.
When DH and I were in the early days, we couldn’t go out on proper dates as often as we’d like because I have children from a previous marriage, so we’d do dinner at my house on random weeknights after the children were in bed. I remember sitting there, belly bloated to hell, rumbling away full of farts that I’d have been mortified to let out 😂😂😵‍💫 But you can’t live like that forever. Once the proverbial ice has been broken, it’s totally fine 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Same. Lick each other’s bits but can’t fart 😂 I suppose it’s just how you view it. I’ve accidentally farted infront of friends and vice versa, no big deal, we just laugh. I wouldn’t deliberately fart though, I’d go somewhere else. But I knew a women who never farted in front of her husband…. Was there at their kids birth but never heard a squeak out of her.

I remember an ex of mine waking up in agony on two occasions as she would not just let it out.

Once it was a veg curry, another time proper Goulash

I don’t fart infront of anyone. I find it disgusting when people do.
who the hell wants to smell gas from the poo up your arse ffs?! ?! 🤢

Well I find farting funny and see it as something perfectly natural. Can’t believe you’d finish a relationship because someone farted which is, after all, a natural bodily function.

Nah, it's gross