To fart or not to fart?

[ConfusedMiddleAgedDater]

I’m about a month into seeing a guy, who is head over heels with me (and backs that up with actions). I like him a lot but am cautious in early days, don’t like to rush things.

Last night, I can’t remember how it came up but he said farting in a relationship is completely natural. I said maybe after 10 years but if he did it now he’d be straight out that door. He thought this was hilarious and said he’d dutch oven me. You’d be forgiven for thinking he’s 5 years old, he’s actually 40! He did say he’d never fart infront of my mum if he met her, so clearly he does have some boundaries, but apparently his family and friends all regularly do infront of each other.

I honestly would end things if he did that with me. I’m talking intentionally not accidental. fwiw we’re both very into kink (not farting related, but definitely not a prude, just think its disgusting).

Am asking here to understand which of us is living in a parallel universe!

My partner and I have been together two years. Very loving, intimate and extremely sexual relationship but we keep bodily functions to ourselves if we can, why wouldn’t you 🤔 it’s not a competition. I find it no bother at all but I’m not windy 🤡

I'm rather puzzled (or naive) as the only 'Dutch Oven' I have heard of related to a lost gold mine in California...

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Dutch_Oven_Mine

Its farting in bed and then throwing the covers over your partners head.

If he can avoid breaking wind in front of your dm, why can he not afford you the same courtesy?

It feels like some kind of weird way to prove he's top dog and you have to put up with it.

My brother used to keep his in a jar and make people smell them. - for this I would run 1000 miles.

I never thought I’d accept it either but DH has tummy issues and as of about a year ago (we have been together 15 years) will run out of the room to relieve himself. He will only ever do it infront of me by accident

It’s like any other bodily function to me. I don’t want to be involved with it, but if it’s unavoidable then that’s different.

In most cases, it’s really not difficult to do it away from other people, so not doing so is a choice.

What’s a Dutch oven ?

I don't fart in front of DH if I can help it. Not to be gross but I have a high fibre diet and my farts are...fragrant. DH has IBS but somehow his farts don't smell much so I don't mind him farting when he needs to - but I've told him if he was smelly we would have been divorced if he farted like he does! I don't think there is any reason that people should happily pass smelly gas in front of anyone, even people they live with. It's disrespectful.

Fart under the covers and then hold them over someone else's head. This would be a dumpable offence for me. I couldn't be with someone who thought it was ok to do that.

Farting is a normal bodily action, same as burping, coughing sneezing!

My friend has IBD and boy, when they come out your really know it but I know that she can't help it so I just try not to breathe too deeply as it can be quite toxic when we're in the car.

As I've got older, I can get out of a chair and suddenly a small trump will emerge unexpectedly, it just happens unfortunately. Luckily, I live alone so don't have to worry about offending anyone thank goodness.

This

Personally big believer in retaining a little privacy. I think there's such a thing as being too comfortable 😀

I'm not going to get offended by a partner farting accidentally, but I wouldn't like to be in a relationship where it was normal to "let rip".

And any kind of deliberate farting on me or Dutch oven would be a dumping offence. Nope.

Defecating is a normal bodily function too but I don't do that in front of anyone else.

It's usually possible to avoid farting in front of someone. I do my best to, as does DH, because why would you want to inflict that on someone? It isn't condusive to an intimate relationship and it isn't a respectful thing to do. (And we've been married many years).

If someone farts intentionally / makes childish jokes / finds them funny - that's just a huge turn off.

Sometimes they happen by mistake. No issue with that of course.

At the end of the day though, it doesn't matter if everyone else in the world doesn't mind farts, you do mind them, and that's your very reasonable boundary.

The state my bowels are in, if I went out of the room to do it, I’d be up and down all day.

More fibre?

I've been with my partner for a year now, and I studiously kept all farts in whenever we were together, resulting sometimes in belly ache. Then we went to a hotel one day for a romantic weekend, and while I was having a wee .... he made me laugh hysterically and I couldn't hold it in, and being on the loo magnified the sound. I wanted the ground to swallow me up as it wasn't a little poot but a full on orchestra.

I still try not to do it in front of him. If he pops to the loo or is in the shower I might have a little one.

Farting is natural, and he occasionally farts in front of me and I honestly couldn't care less.

Accidental fart-funny. Deliberate fart-unacceptable. Easy.

No, bowel surgery has caused it.

I started dating someone years ago who was offended by the odd poot. I said to her, it's not like I'm taking a dump on the Pope now is it.

She was so weird about it that we stopped seeing each other, she also had a toe that was longer than her big toe so ...

I fully get it when it's early in the relationship. And always agree doing it intentionally is definitely off putting.
But in general I'm OK with it. Its not good to hold it in .

I can’t be bothered with this nonsense from grown adults. Just fucking fart if you need to ffs. If I were him I’d just sack you off now so I could merrily get on with my life farting whenever I please.

All this angst about a normal bodily function! Jeez I’d look like a beach ball if I didn’t break wind several times a day. It’s no big deal. And yet I’d be mortified of embarrassment if I had to perform any kind of ‘kink’ during sex.

People who won’t fart in front of partners I’m going to assume have never given birth. Because believe me all dignity is left at the door to the delivery room.