To fart or not to fart?

[ConfusedMiddleAgedDater]

I’m about a month into seeing a guy, who is head over heels with me (and backs that up with actions). I like him a lot but am cautious in early days, don’t like to rush things.

Last night, I can’t remember how it came up but he said farting in a relationship is completely natural. I said maybe after 10 years but if he did it now he’d be straight out that door. He thought this was hilarious and said he’d dutch oven me. You’d be forgiven for thinking he’s 5 years old, he’s actually 40! He did say he’d never fart infront of my mum if he met her, so clearly he does have some boundaries, but apparently his family and friends all regularly do infront of each other.

I honestly would end things if he did that with me. I’m talking intentionally not accidental. fwiw we’re both very into kink (not farting related, but definitely not a prude, just think its disgusting).

Am asking here to understand which of us is living in a parallel universe!

Deliberately. Farting deliberately. Makes no sense. I don't make myself sneeze deliberately. Or burp. Or cough or yawn. Its the same bloody thing. My mind is blown honestly

Do you have no control over your sphincter? Does gas just exit your bum with no warning? Or can you in fact hold it in when you're in a job interview, or church, or at the gynaecologist having a smear test??

I sneezed and farted at the same time once and then dissolved into hysterical laughter and pissed myself! Luckily I didn’t follow through for the quadruple!

farting is natural! It’s not a big deal to me!

Accidental occasionally fine, pushing them out is grim. I get instant ick smelling someones bowels 😂 it’s disgusting.

Your reply has blown my mind.. do yours just fall out 😆

Principally I think couples should be able to fart in front of each other but in reality I find it kind of disgusting when my DP does it lol. And when they ask you to come answer a question while pooing 🫠 I don’t enjoy it. But it sort of should be fine lol

Mine do at the moment, must have had a good 20 seconder the other evening.

@K0OLA1Deh? You squeeze your bum when you know a fart is coming. That’s how you don’t deliberately fart. Have you never done that?

Why should you?

Crikey, why can't he wait until he's finished in the loo to ask you a question? And why would you go running to answer?

I would be stepping in and out of the room all the time. No thank you.

We fart. We're not doing it in each other's faces and laughing but if we need to fart, we do. I'm not holding them in in my own home in front of my own husband.

It’s a fart not a Molotov Cocktail. I don’t go about blasting them out like my life depends on it but if I need to fart then I’ll fart. The man has cleaned up after my miscarriages 4 times, he saw me shit in Labour and my vagina stretch to insane levels. A fart is a ‘breeze’ compared to that!

It's quite an efficient stance to adopt to encourage said fart along, though.

It is kind of like pooing in instalments, though!

That's known as 'taking a screenshot'.

😂😂😂

Cannot be arsed getting up from the couch. I’ll fart where I sit.

This made me cry! 🤣🤣🤣

If i need to fart I fart. I have never needed to fart in anyone's face. So who knows!

Nope. I don't try to keep them in.

Exactly!

Even in a job interview? In a funeral?

I have never needed to knowingly hold a fart in. I just haven't. I've been to a grand total of 3 funerals in my life and 3 job interviews. Do you go to them weekly?! I mostly work from home and if I am out and about then I just carry on as I am. Jesus.

Tbh I don't fart, or even shit that much. So maybe its more of a problem for you!

Edited to say 4 funerals.

That would be the door for me … I just couldn’t find someone attractive that did that. If it was an accident, it’s fine but otherwise there’s a bathroom for passing gas. I find it gross.

So people with bowel conditions, like my dp. A. They are gross. And B. You'd expect them to leave the room over and over and over again? Wow.