New relationship finance dilemma

[Kate7418]

After discovering my husband had cheated on me last year and our subsequent marriage break up, I have only recently entered the whirlwind of the dating apps.

I've met a really nice guy my age, and we arranged a first date. He had told me he was in management, works away a lot and has been divorced 6 years. Dating hadn't worked out as he couldn't meet anyone educationally on his wavelength
( he and I both have Master's degrees) or anyone who liked travelling as he does.

I have a low paid minimum wage job after bringing up my children, one of whom I am still the carer for ,as he is disabled.

We had a truly fantastic first date, and he revealed the extent of his job which is at executive level. He is very wealthy. But that means nothing to me as I am very much seeking that spark connection which we have in spades. We had coffees which he paid for then went out for a meal and I was very happy to split the bill as that is only fair. I must admit that I was vague about my job but he knew I wasn't anywhere near his financial strata.

Anyway, he takes 5 star luxury holidays several times a year and he's looking for a relationship whereby his partner accompanies him, but she pays her half of the holiday. I can't possibly do that. I can't afford a caravan holiday currently and although we got on like a house on fire this whole holiday thing sounded like a deal breaker with him. I stupidly sat there and nodded my desire to accompany him on the holidays. At the end of the meal he asked how we were going to go about the bill. I found myself saying " I'll pick that up as you got the coffees earlier".

The upshot is that I spent £100 on the meal that I really didn't have and Im going to be really short the next few weeks as a result. I could kick myself. The thing is we got on so well, he's texting me, arranging another date and excited we've met. He mentioned that he was " glad the dating app game is now over" now he's met me. I feel equally happy but this dark cloud regarding finances is looming over me.

I suppose I'll have to come clean and watch him walk away. But we have such a good connection and I will be very sad to see him go, just because financially I'm not in his league.

Any advice would be appreciated thank you.

Also very true - but the OP put Masters educated as the metric.

I think you might have got all caught up in a fantasy life, even if his life is made up or real, it's not compatible with yours.
He told you from outset what he's looking for and you held back relevant information, and put yourself into debt to prove you can afford/keep up with his lifestyle.....
It's ok, it was one date, your feeling foolish now, but he didn't do it to you, he could have manipulated the situation to make you feel like doing it, but still your choice.
If he gets in touch, if you say you like him, be honest, admit you acted a certain way and see where it goes. Don't continue to put yourself into debt or deny your actual feelings/lifestyle in any relationship going forward.
I know your skint, but £100 to learn that lesson isn't too bad, compared to therapy costs down the line.
Getting out there is hard, you have stumbled a bit, you will be ok

Yes this stood out to me... you know a lot about him but (aside from finding out what qualifications you had) did he attempt to find out anything about you?? It's not uncommon...plenty on online dating are very fond of talking about themselves 🙄