should i cancel my operation?

[ohdearohdear]

M few days ago, i finally booked my breast reduction op. (see my other threads!) dh has arraanged to take 3 wks off This is the only time of year dh can take 3 weeks off . Then yesterday, his mum called to say his brother is getting married - on the same day as my op!!!! This was completely unexpected and dh has told his mum that i'm having an op that day so we won't be able to go. I feel really guilty about it but if i cancel my op, i'll have to wait another year (because of dh's time off work)Dh isn't close at all to his brother and can go only see him when we see his mum and dad. Never calls him and went years not seeing him at all. Not because they don't get on, just because they're very different and have nothing in common! Should i cancel my op??

yes, quite short notice - august

I agree with LL - maybe your DH could go while you are in hosp that day? It's 3 months away, it is not like you are deliberately planning to miss his family celebrations. What does DH think? I think you should go for it (tho I understand feeling like you do, as well)

I agree, your dh can go up a few days in advance of your op, or the day before, attend the wedding and come back after your op.

3 months isnt really short notice.

I know it is scary for you, and your size is troubling you, but it is not like your life depends on it. Why should he sit around while you are in theatre? Yes it is nice to have him there when you wake up after surgery, but he doesnt need to be there. He can send a card. Get a friend and a family member to be there when you wake up.

Truoble is that the wedding is about 4 hours drive away!

There's no one else who could be at the hospital with me that day - my sister is having ds for the day and there isn't anyone else who could be a the hospital. I suggested to dh that i could go alone and he goes to the wedding, but he wouldn't agree to it

You should still go ahead with the operation.
Guilt is a useless emotion; stop feeling guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Besides which how does your DH feel about getting an invite to his brother's wedding?. If he is not in contact with his brother very often he may not be all that inclined to attend anyway.

He's like to go (as would i) but he says i'm his priority so he'll miss it

Can they not change your op to the day after maybe?

The surgeon only operates at my hospital every 2 weeks and dh can't take the time off if we change it to later. Visiting them before is a good idea but their relationship is so distant it would be a bit wierd, specifically visitin them. I m sure his brother would understand about the op, it's his mum and dad who are bothered about us missing it

Your DH has been clear about his priority, and I honestly think you can pay him the compliment of making a good decision about it, and you don't need to feel guilty.

It's unfortunate, but not disasterous.

Just vecause you have a feeling of 'it would have been nice to attend' doesn't mean that you have to feel guilty that you can't attend.

It's important you don't spend another whole year in discomfort and with back problems.

You should not cancel your operation. It is you health and you need it.

My FIL had kidney surgery close before the date of our wedding. It was very important to DH that FIL was at the wedding, so we offered to change the wedding date away from the surgery. In the end, FIL was OK and able to come on the original date, but we would have changed the wedding had he not been OK.

Health vs. Wedding => Health wins

If they are so desperate for you and DH to come, they should have checked the date with you BEFORE making arrangements.

This is not your fault and absolutely no reason to compromise your health.

If your attendance is so fundamental, they can change the wedding.

MMJ - I thought that this problem is causing the OP pain and she does need it? Have not read other threads though so maybe I am wrong.

I imagine your dh is taking time off to look after you when you are out of hospital?

do you actually need him there on the day? I mean what can he do while you are actually in theatre?

if it was me I would send dh to the wedding. He'll still have three weeks to care for you. And you won't be getting straight out of hospital as soon as the op is over, will you?

I have it's fine if he goes to the wedding - i know i'm not really going ot be up to visitors straight after. I'll talk to him about it again