Would you add partner to mortgage after 5 years?

[Careermummy]

Me and my partner got together during Covid so he moved in very quickly because of lockdowns. I own my own house and he was renting a room when we got together so it made sense to move into mine. It's 5 years on and we're still in the same position. He doesn't have the funds to pay a large contribution into the house. We had a turbulent first few years
but mellowed in the last few but we do still row occasionally (never over anything serious). I do my best to make him feel it's his home like decorating it how he wants etc but he says it's still my house at the end of the day. Should I be adding him to the mortgage at this point? I would absolutely be getting a solicitors contract if I did to state %s owned and that I have the option to buy him out if we do break up. To be honest I don't even know what % he would own if he's not made a significant contribution but I can worry about that later. Thanks x

No

No. Please don’t.

If he wants security then surely he can save or invest some of his wages for that.

Definitely not. Why would you?
Unless he is to pay a significant amount towards it?

Absolutely not! He is welcome to buy his own place or if he can’t that (sorry to be blunt) it is not your problem. End of day relationships can and do break down. Why would you give away your main security? Or put yourself in a position of having to buy him out? He’s right it is your house, but can and is his home. Don’t do it OP. If he doesn’t like it he can move out. Don’t get married either. If you don’t envisage you will split up why would it matter if his name is on it or not? +He’s done well out of the relationship as is and older we get security more important.

Absolutely not.
How many threads do we have on here that women bitterly regret the stupidity of doing this which caused them to lose the house or thousands to buy them out.

He moved in quickly?
That was enough.
For goodness sake value your home more.

In a climate where so many are renting it is astonishing how quickly women on MN want to hand over precious equity.

Absolutely not.

Do not get married either.
Sit down and think in detail how you would deal with losing the house, selling it, if the relationship breaks down.

Worse case scenario first. NOT hoping for the best.

The only way to add him and protect your own assets would be to have a current valuation and then have him pay a lump sum and bring given ownership of a percentage of the property in return. As he doesn’t have the capital to do this, it sounds like he’s not in a position to be a property owner at the moment.

So I'm in a similar position with my partner, only a few years behind you. We very rarely argue though so I feel fine with adding him to the mortgage and deeds in time. However, he will be buying into the property. Not just getting added to it and paying half of future payments.

What's your partner been spending his money on the past five years? Money that would normally be housing costs ? There should be no excuse for not having a healthy "deposit" sized savings lump he can use to buy into the property.

However if you are still arguing a few times a year I wouldn't be allowing him onto the deeds/mortgage.

I’d echo having a valuation carried out and having your partner pay a lump sum, rather than just adding him on after having paid off the mortgage for years.

However, I absolutely wouldn’t do this in your shoes, he moved in too quickly, you’re already arguing, this often gets much worse once you’re further tied to them.

This thread springs to mind

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5292731-i-need-a-good-rant-advice-also-helpful?utmcampaign=thread&utmmedium=appshare

OP, please read the thread bellow.

It is one of so many on MN where women foolishly bring so much unnecessary drama to their lives by gifting their property.

Madness. Pure madness.

No.

NO NO NO, your partners mellowing out doesn't mean he and things are stable. Adding his name could come back to bite you should be decide to be vindictive, especially if it coincides with you two breaking up or divorcing. He could also use take out loans- lines if equity - against your will or wishes. If creditors are after him, they could come after your- your own property. This is your protection, your security.. Trust your boyfriend, love your boyfriend but still look after and cover yourself.

Absolutely not!! He has contributed nothing! He is entitled to nothing.
Yes it is “your” house and if he doesn’t like it he can buy his own 🤷🏼‍♀️

No, most couples don’t “row occasionally”, or have a “turbulent few years”. This doesn’t sound at all like a stable relationship, so no I absolutely would not be putting him on the deeds or mortgage. If you really wanted to in the future he should only have the % ownership that he has contributed to. So if your current equity is 50% of the current value of the house (not the purchase price) then you ringfence your 50% mortgage free, and split the other 50% equally with him paying equally into the mortgage. So he would own 25% of the house after accounting for 50% of the outstanding mortgage.

No chance.

If you marry him, he'll probably try to claim half is his - he's contributed to your bills etc - so maybe think long and hard.

Do you have kids?

Only asking because of your user name.

If you do, they would be the priority. Not a lodger (does he pay rent?)

NO WAY

Definitely not. And don't marry him either without seeing a lawyer and making sure the house remains yours in event of a split and the equity you have already got remains out of the marital pit. Same with your pension if its much bigger.

This is simply not true. You do not acquire an interest in someone’s house because you pay the mortgage.

Not unless you want to give him half your equity 6 months after you put him on the mortgage/dead. What’s he giving you? Not married no kids? Equal financial contribution? Your thinking of giving someone a massive amount of money potentially for nothing. You’ve already let him free load for 5 years if he wants a house he should buy one!

NO.

@Careermummy

Just out of curiosity, what have you decided to do (if anything)?

No absolutely not. Keep your home and control over it. Don't become of those discussion threads in a few years saying you gave up part of your home and now you're facing being homeless

NO. There’s no need
Protect your asset, it’s obtained through all your hard work
Dont get married unless he matches your salary at least
its not romantic to think about it all, but please trust me, it’s Paramount
i sold the family home in Bath for 10k over asking price and exh pissed his up the wall on kit cars, motorbikes etc
i realise you’re not married but that will be next

If course you had a turbulent first few years because he moved himself into your safe space after a short time using lockdown as an excuse. Tell him to move out and he can pay for his own accommodation, so sick of men expecting women to provide cheap housing.