Would you add partner to mortgage after 5 years?

[Careermummy]

Me and my partner got together during Covid so he moved in very quickly because of lockdowns. I own my own house and he was renting a room when we got together so it made sense to move into mine. It's 5 years on and we're still in the same position. He doesn't have the funds to pay a large contribution into the house. We had a turbulent first few years
but mellowed in the last few but we do still row occasionally (never over anything serious). I do my best to make him feel it's his home like decorating it how he wants etc but he says it's still my house at the end of the day. Should I be adding him to the mortgage at this point? I would absolutely be getting a solicitors contract if I did to state %s owned and that I have the option to buy him out if we do break up. To be honest I don't even know what % he would own if he's not made a significant contribution but I can worry about that later. Thanks x

He could/should save at least the amount you pay on mortgage for his security. Currently he is not paying mortgage or rent.

I don’t do it. From someone who has been there, done that and almost lost my property, I am now refusing to allow my new partner a share in my home.

if you do he could, realistically, force you to sell if you slit and you could lose your house.

Oh...when you say he's being 'paying into the house' what do you mean? That does change things a bit.

When he can afford to buy an equal share and your relationship is on a definite firm footing then at that stage I might consider it.

You say it has come up when considering an extension you want and he doesn't. Is he he holding this over you somehow? If you give him a share you won't be able to do what you want with your property!

.

Rather than building an extension, putting him on the mortgage or similar, I would consider buying a new (larger) house with him, and ring fence my share of the deposit with a deed of trust.

New start for everyone, no quibbles about it being more one partners house.

I am thinking after 5 years of paying into the house he deserves a little security.

So is he paying you rent? Or has he been making mortgage payments directly? If not, what do you mean by "paying into the house"?

You’ve asked if you should put him on the mortgage but I think you're asking if you should let him gradually purchase a %share in the property?

Being on the mortgage in theory gives him no financial interest over the house, its the deeds/title that do.

That said, if he's already lived with you for 5 years, and can show he's financially contributed whilst he's lived there then he would likely still get a % of equity should you break up.

Agree. The OP says he doesn’t pay a significant contribution - which does come across as a cocklodger but update says he pays almost half of everything so it’s unclear what he’s bringing financially to the table.

Not a chance

Not in a million years!

You'd have to be crazy to do that. You do realise that most people don't describe their marriages as turbulent, don't you? If you had to say whether turbulence would lead to a stable and happy relationship or an unhappy one, wouldn't you choose the latter?

Does he pay anything towards the mortgage at the moment - or any kind of rent - or does he just pay half the bills?

No.

simple sentence, it's a complete sentence - No.

Do not do it! Ex husband did the same. We got married and lived together less than 3 years. He mattered about it being my house the whole time. Put him on the mortgage and next thing he left - and with it took 37.5k! Look after your assets, he needs to match your first then you’re equal.

Does he pay anything towards the mortgage at the moment - or any kind of rent - or does he just pay half the bills?

I meant to add, if he's living rent-free, then how come he doesn't have the money for his own home now?

It's not your job to provide security for a man.

No.No.No.No. Ad infinitum. Please don't.

There's so much bad advice here including this one.
There are LEGAL MEANS to protect your assets.

I know several couples with an imbalance of earnings and equity who bought a house together. Some with a 80-20 split of equity.

You see a solicitor and draw up a contract.

This ensures you get your percentage back.

Yes, but when it's unstable again and she just wants him out, she can't do that easily if he owns, eg, 20% of her home.

What would you even consider this. The answer is obviously no.

‘Twas a generalised statement; insert 80/20, 70/30, 60/40 to your liking.

NO.

This is a weird and illogical point to make.
So all will be rosy after the magic number of 8 years?

What happens if you split up in year 9?

Why don't you see a solicitor? If you buy your house together from now on, you'd be entitled to a percentage of its value (on a sale) according to how much you put in.

People who are friends buy a house together, knowing they will divide the equity if and when one moves out (which often happens.)

More to the point you're arguing over an extension of not- that's a pretty big issue .

So how do other couples do it? Not everyone buying together is a married couple. Many friends or siblings buy together. And not with equal input.

Yes, if BUYING together. It doesn’t make sense to hand over 20/30/40/50% of OP’s asset/her DC’s inheritance to her BF, putting her into a position to buy him out/downsize if they break up. She got the mortgage on her own when the house was bought.

Other couples buying a house with the agreement of percentages if ownership from day one is a different kettle of fish. OP has owned 100% from day one.

This should be your answer regarding the mortgage too.

At least wait until you are married. Feeling a bit sorry for his lack of security isn’t quite enough.

I’ll give a different response if the BF births OP’s baby, takes a paternity leave, then either goes back PT or is a SAHD. In that case, he should absolutely get some protections.