Leaving almost 19 year old daughter 2 nights a week.

[Hartey40]

So I leave my daughter 2 nights a week to stay at my partners. She is welcome to come too but prefers to stay at my/her home, he works in hospitality local to where he lives and finishes late so not practical for him to stay at mine, there is no issue with this arrangement, other than that I have mum guilt, does anyone else do this ? She starts university in Sept and she will be living 5 hours away, so maybe I’m emotional about that too. Please be kind with your opinions.

Wow some adult children really are babied.

I don’t blame her! Who wants to play gooseberry!

Does she have a boyfriend that she’s inviting round?

I was travelling the world by myself at 18. Your daughter is an adult, can vote, get married, own her own house…Bevin her own….😂

How very caring and patronising of you

It’s absolutely fine. She’s a grown woman. You could leave her for three months if you wanted to. My 19yo is at uni in another country and I haven’t seen her since Easter.

She's 19 an adult. Why are you infantilsing her.

I’m think it’s lovely that you are considering her so much. You sound like a really thoughtful person and a good mom.

I had a full time job and my own flat at 19...

Is this real? I had moved out at 19

No, she sounds like she hasn’t given her any independence and now thinks the daughter can’t be left alone. It’s not thoughtful at all

Oh this is great for your daughter and I bet she loves having this time alone.

my dd is 17 & she regularly spends time alone at her Dads when he is away. She isn’t far away from me so she has support if she needs it. But she loves having space to herself, and is learning so much about how to manage her life, plan for & prep meals, tiny up etc

it’s a perfect scenario op. And it’s great mumming not bad mumming.

our challenges become more about how to let go and we have to do this.

I frequently go on holiday without DD who just turned 18, she loves having the place to herself.

If you feel bad about it, no-one is actually holding a gun to your head and making you stay with your bloke.

If you actively want to spend more time with your dd until she goes to uni, do that.

Do whatever makes you happiest.

Would I only see my 18 year old daughter 5 days out of 7 every single week if we lived in the same house. No I wouldn't if I was in that situation. I would wait until she least got uni. But if you're happy with it you do you

You could just stay home with her OP

It’s rather disrespectful of you to treat her like a child. She is an adult so treat her as one.

My DD is 18 and choosing to move into her own flat at the end of the month 🤔

I don’t see the problem either , she loves it when she gets the house to herself now and likes the independence. Maybe you just need to help her with her independence.

Please be kind with your opinions.

What does that mean to you?

I was married with a baby and own home at 19😂

Yeah, that explains a lot. I've no idea why some people can't seem to understand how life changes over a quarter of a century....

Me too.

Yes that’s true

Disrespectful no I don’t think I am as I do leave her and I don’t treat her like a child I was just wanting some views