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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Had an affair and worked out OK

90 replies

NeedToEndIt · 12/05/2025 15:52

I'm struggling with this after D-day from several years ago and would welcome thoughts from those that have been through this. Anyone else cheated on their husband but somehow hung onto their marriage and comfy lifestyle? What was the effect on him and how do you get through seeing the effect its had on him? Were you completely honest with him (and yourself) as to why and did anything really change on either side as a result?

OP posts:
wtdse · 12/05/2025 15:53

Following…

Lostinmyself · 12/05/2025 16:15

you had an affair years ago? And are asking what? If things were ever the same?

Circumferences · 12/05/2025 16:16

The only affair I ever had (a long time ago) ended in disaster and I had to rebuild my life.

Sorry.

ByTaupeScroller · 12/05/2025 20:36

Yes I have. I got married very young & didn't have much experience. We were very happy until I reached my 30's. Started going out more & lapped up the new found attention I was receiving from men. I became a big flirt & had a couple of one night stands & a couple of affairs. My husband never knew & still doesn't know. I managed to keep it all from my friends & still portray the image of a model housewife. Now I'm in my 40's and over it. I've just settled back into my happy marriage, bringing up our teenage children. Remorse? YES. I thank my lucky stars that he never found out. I don't think it'll come back to bite me on the bum. They were both from a different city. No one knew them or about them. They have no idea where I live & I don't do social media. It's not an experience I'd like to go through again.

NeedToEndIt · 13/05/2025 07:17

ByTaupeScroller · 12/05/2025 20:36

Yes I have. I got married very young & didn't have much experience. We were very happy until I reached my 30's. Started going out more & lapped up the new found attention I was receiving from men. I became a big flirt & had a couple of one night stands & a couple of affairs. My husband never knew & still doesn't know. I managed to keep it all from my friends & still portray the image of a model housewife. Now I'm in my 40's and over it. I've just settled back into my happy marriage, bringing up our teenage children. Remorse? YES. I thank my lucky stars that he never found out. I don't think it'll come back to bite me on the bum. They were both from a different city. No one knew them or about them. They have no idea where I live & I don't do social media. It's not an experience I'd like to go through again.

Thank you for sharing. You were lucky. I was found out and I'm struggling with having to cope with feelings of remorse and switching to pretending life is back to normal again as that is what I want.

OP posts:
NeedToEndIt · 13/05/2025 07:26

Lostinmyself · 12/05/2025 16:15

you had an affair years ago? And are asking what? If things were ever the same?

Yes but not that many years ago. Things have obviously changed a bit in our relationship and think I've shown remorse but how do you get to a point where both of you feel like things are back to normal? I think I'm there but occasionally I'm not so sure about how he feels.

OP posts:
Docwillseeyounow · 13/05/2025 07:50

I had an affair eight years ago for many different reasons. The fallout after it was horrific. Everybody knew, friends, family, parents at my children's school.

I would say it's only the last year or so that DH doesnt mention it. His family still don't talk to me and I have one friend that never judged me or got involved. Plenty of others only hung around long enough to find out what they wanted and then blanked me. Kids are teenagers now and in a different school do dont have to deal with the looks and whispering at the school gates.

Surprisingly DH friends still talk to me, no issues with them.

It's been a long battle and to be honest I wanted to just run away but for financial reasons it wasn't possible. It's got to the stage now where I'm comfortable in our marriage. We have worked hard and we are planning lots of things for our future. I still feel tremendous guilt and shame and I'm quite reclusive now. I have no social media and neither does DH. I try to keep our life as private as possible. Circle is miniscule which suits me.

DH definitely trusts me though because over the last eight years I've done everything I can do get the trust back. Last year I went abroad for 5 days without him and he encouraged it.

My affair changed me as a person and I look back on that time and don't recognise that person. I won't get into it but I subsequently was having what they called a "standing breakdown " . I was diagnosed with mental health illness and was hospitalised about two years after the affair.

I will always regret what I did.

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 07:51

NeedToEndIt · 13/05/2025 07:26

Yes but not that many years ago. Things have obviously changed a bit in our relationship and think I've shown remorse but how do you get to a point where both of you feel like things are back to normal? I think I'm there but occasionally I'm not so sure about how he feels.

It will be hard for things to go back no "normal". What you are experiencing may be your new normal.

You betrayed your husband, you broke his trust and he may never be how he was. I'm sorry.

What have you done to try make things better? How long was the affair? How did he find out? Where you totally honest about it?

OchreRaven · 13/05/2025 07:55

He won’t ever feel the same way about you. Would you if he had done that to you?

I’ve never had an affair or be cheated on, but this has happened in my family and I can say having an affair destroys the foundation upon which the relationship is built.

He may have stayed with you but you will never be a safe space for him or someone he thinks highly of.

That’s the consequence of your actions. He also has to pay that price even though he did nothing wrong. He’s obviously decided staying together is better than splitting but that doesn’t entail it’s all forgotten. Your relationship is irreversibly changed. You can’t go back. But you can try to build something different where you show him every day what he means to you.

The stats show that most people who stay together after infidelity break up within 5 years. I assume that’s because they naively think that after the dust settles it will ‘go back to normal’. Unfortunately I don’t think there is a normal to go back to anymore.

miyt · 13/05/2025 08:01

Your partners will never feel the same about you again.
They stay because they still want that life but the life you had together from their point of view inside is gone. They won’t tell you that but will carry on but the life you had together before is ruined as you tainted it. You weren’t satisfied and were looking for something better so that will have destroyed their self esteem. I am changed as a person, never feel good enough, don’t sleep, no confidence anymore, feel second best, feel unattractive , depressed and just plod now in my life/mind instead of feeling excited for life…..
My other half wanted to leave me but we have stayed together. He changed his mind. I changed as a person. My best friend hurt me more than anyone in my life.
I pretend everything fine and my life is okay but they broke that trust I had in people/life.
Ruined me as a person.
They will never think you are the same person they used to know. You ruined them……………

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 08:07

miyt · 13/05/2025 08:01

Your partners will never feel the same about you again.
They stay because they still want that life but the life you had together from their point of view inside is gone. They won’t tell you that but will carry on but the life you had together before is ruined as you tainted it. You weren’t satisfied and were looking for something better so that will have destroyed their self esteem. I am changed as a person, never feel good enough, don’t sleep, no confidence anymore, feel second best, feel unattractive , depressed and just plod now in my life/mind instead of feeling excited for life…..
My other half wanted to leave me but we have stayed together. He changed his mind. I changed as a person. My best friend hurt me more than anyone in my life.
I pretend everything fine and my life is okay but they broke that trust I had in people/life.
Ruined me as a person.
They will never think you are the same person they used to know. You ruined them……………

I'm so sorry. I can feel the pain within your words. How long since this happened to you?

CagneyNYPD1 · 13/05/2025 08:09

I don’t think there is any “going back to normal”. You can’t go back to how things were. You can both create a new normal that you are both happy with but it will look and feel different.

miyt · 13/05/2025 08:36

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 08:07

I'm so sorry. I can feel the pain within your words. How long since this happened to you?

2019

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 08:50

miyt · 13/05/2025 08:36

2019

and he had an affair with your best friend? How did you find out? Did he take responsibility for his actions?

Does he know how you are feeling? I think it's maybe time to discuss this with him and ask him to help you rebuild your confidence, after all he was the one who shattered it.

Time to be kind to yourself, what do you do outside the family/wife role? Do you have time to focus on yourself and make yourself feel better?

miyt · 13/05/2025 09:04

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 08:50

and he had an affair with your best friend? How did you find out? Did he take responsibility for his actions?

Does he know how you are feeling? I think it's maybe time to discuss this with him and ask him to help you rebuild your confidence, after all he was the one who shattered it.

Time to be kind to yourself, what do you do outside the family/wife role? Do you have time to focus on yourself and make yourself feel better?

No he didn’t have an affair with my best friend?

Swirlythingy2025 · 13/05/2025 09:07

NeedToEndIt · 13/05/2025 07:26

Yes but not that many years ago. Things have obviously changed a bit in our relationship and think I've shown remorse but how do you get to a point where both of you feel like things are back to normal? I think I'm there but occasionally I'm not so sure about how he feels.

the thing is you can never be too sure, at a guess as long as you are as normal as can be then i presume thats the main thing.

Chocchips123 · 13/05/2025 09:10

NeedToEndIt · 13/05/2025 07:26

Yes but not that many years ago. Things have obviously changed a bit in our relationship and think I've shown remorse but how do you get to a point where both of you feel like things are back to normal? I think I'm there but occasionally I'm not so sure about how he feels.

He'll probably never trust you again? Ask him.

OneLilacTurtle · 13/05/2025 09:19

I don’t think I would ever stay with someone who’s cheated and I wouldn’t cheat to be honest anyone who does is not right in my opinion if your unhappy enough to cheat then leave your relationship do your poor other half a favour my now dp
got cheated on by his ex wife and his best friend poor man !

HouseCaptain · 13/05/2025 09:22

ByTaupeScroller · 12/05/2025 20:36

Yes I have. I got married very young & didn't have much experience. We were very happy until I reached my 30's. Started going out more & lapped up the new found attention I was receiving from men. I became a big flirt & had a couple of one night stands & a couple of affairs. My husband never knew & still doesn't know. I managed to keep it all from my friends & still portray the image of a model housewife. Now I'm in my 40's and over it. I've just settled back into my happy marriage, bringing up our teenage children. Remorse? YES. I thank my lucky stars that he never found out. I don't think it'll come back to bite me on the bum. They were both from a different city. No one knew them or about them. They have no idea where I live & I don't do social media. It's not an experience I'd like to go through again.

Would your DH still want to be married to you if he knew? I think he deserves to know the truth and make his mind up for himself. Otherwise you are defrauding him.

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 09:22

miyt · 13/05/2025 09:04

No he didn’t have an affair with my best friend?

ah sorry I read my best friend hurt me. I assumed it with an affair with your friend but u meant him

miyt · 13/05/2025 09:26

He was my best friend so I was stating that my best friend hurt me more than anyone else in my life so it was unexpected. I don’t know exact details of everything as was too scared to delve deeper but he was leaving me after 30 yrs together because I questioned why he was not at work as stated but out with a friend. Still a friend now btw……
It’s hard when you love someone as if we weren’t together I will be on my own as never living with anyone else.
We are good now but things are different in my head. Not the same. Fixed but I’m fragile as a person now. It ruined me to be honest. That happy safe feeling gone……..

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 09:35

miyt · 13/05/2025 09:26

He was my best friend so I was stating that my best friend hurt me more than anyone else in my life so it was unexpected. I don’t know exact details of everything as was too scared to delve deeper but he was leaving me after 30 yrs together because I questioned why he was not at work as stated but out with a friend. Still a friend now btw……
It’s hard when you love someone as if we weren’t together I will be on my own as never living with anyone else.
We are good now but things are different in my head. Not the same. Fixed but I’m fragile as a person now. It ruined me to be honest. That happy safe feeling gone……..

why are you accepting him still being friends with her? He literally thinks he can do whatever he wants and you will just accept it?

hangingonfordearlife1 · 13/05/2025 09:35

HouseCaptain · 13/05/2025 09:22

Would your DH still want to be married to you if he knew? I think he deserves to know the truth and make his mind up for himself. Otherwise you are defrauding him.

don’t be so ridiculous! why hurt someone for absolutely no reason when it’s been dead and buried years ago? stupid

miyt · 13/05/2025 09:49

Lostinmyself · 13/05/2025 09:35

why are you accepting him still being friends with her? He literally thinks he can do whatever he wants and you will just accept it?

Yeah I’m just broken as a person but still reasonably happy in my overall life now and still want to be with him but have accepted that the way I feel is my new normal.
i would never get married again and don’t want to meet anyone else. I’m not a pushover but would not look for a new relationship as would never trust anyone else as he was and is my best friend so if he can decide to leave me after 30 years and knowing each other since very young how would I ever trust anyone. The only person I trust 100 percent in my life now is me….
I just pity them as it can’t feel good to hurt good people and I think in some way they feel that.

Utterlyincandescently · 13/05/2025 09:53

hangingonfordearlife1 · 13/05/2025 09:35

don’t be so ridiculous! why hurt someone for absolutely no reason when it’s been dead and buried years ago? stupid

It's not no reason, is it though? I'd want to know if my husband had an affair so I could decide if I wanted to stay in the relationship, even if it was 10 years ago. Spoiler: he would be dumped immediately.