I had an affair eight years ago for many different reasons. The fallout after it was horrific. Everybody knew, friends, family, parents at my children's school.
I would say it's only the last year or so that DH doesnt mention it. His family still don't talk to me and I have one friend that never judged me or got involved. Plenty of others only hung around long enough to find out what they wanted and then blanked me. Kids are teenagers now and in a different school do dont have to deal with the looks and whispering at the school gates.
Surprisingly DH friends still talk to me, no issues with them.
It's been a long battle and to be honest I wanted to just run away but for financial reasons it wasn't possible. It's got to the stage now where I'm comfortable in our marriage. We have worked hard and we are planning lots of things for our future. I still feel tremendous guilt and shame and I'm quite reclusive now. I have no social media and neither does DH. I try to keep our life as private as possible. Circle is miniscule which suits me.
DH definitely trusts me though because over the last eight years I've done everything I can do get the trust back. Last year I went abroad for 5 days without him and he encouraged it.
My affair changed me as a person and I look back on that time and don't recognise that person. I won't get into it but I subsequently was having what they called a "standing breakdown " . I was diagnosed with mental health illness and was hospitalised about two years after the affair.
I will always regret what I did.