Are faithful men a myth?

[Blissfultiggy]

Do you think there’s any loyal and faithful men out there?

You’ll get many “not my Nigel” replies, but if you put all of those Nigels in a room together…well, the statistics speak for themselves don’t they?

Of course not all men cheat. Of course good men exist. But nobody knows they’ve got a bad one until it’s too late.

The key is to love and trust openly until someone gives you reason not to. Be secure enough in yourself to know that, if your Nigel does turn out to be one of the bad ones, that you’ll be just fine on your own.

No.

Cheating was rife amongst people who are now in their 70s.. the tales my mum told me, older friends male and female have told me.. it was easier to do as no way to catch them out with technology etc

Observing male behaviour on 'lads holidays' and golf trips I fully believe most men will cheat if they can get away with it.
And online dating has opened my eyes to how disgusting some men can be to women they don't know, never mind the amount of married men on there.
Even husbands of 2 friends have groped and propositioned me in the past, and these were apparently devoted, loyal family men!
I've given up and decided to stay single.

Women must be just as bad as men surely. Logically speaking. For a man to put his willy in a fanny he shouldn't, that fanny must be there and willing.

Yes i do think so. I live with one.

I don't think people exist in two categories of 'cheater' and 'not cheater'. People are human and their actions depend a lot on the situation they're in. There are actions which on MN are taken as cheating but which I don't think are, or not every time. That doesn't mean i think they are fine either - a crush on a work colleague, a bit of poking round on a sex dating website, even a kiss, stuff like that. To me, that's not cheating even though not great, but to many others, including dp, it is. I'm certain he has never cheated, and I have never confessed to him that I'm not quite as far into the non cheater column as he is.

If someone is perfectly faithful for 30 years and has a one off encounter at that point, does that completely discount the previous fidelity? I don't think it does. The reality is though that a situation like that will usually occur when the faithful person is on their way out of the door already.

This is very naive.

I know of someone who would say the exact same thing about her husband - a really decent, family man.

Except I know different. She would be horrified as well as everyone else who knows him. He’s my close friend, so I would never tell anyone.

You really DO NOT know; whatever you may think, what someone else can get up to without you knowing.

Nope, I know my husband has always been faithful to me. Sorry about your friend though, that sucks.

No, they’re not a myth. I reckon you’ve just been unlucky.

All women think they know one but nobody can know for sure if any man has been unfaithful.

Oh gawd, how depressing. Checks out for a number of friends partners though 😕

There will be men who look out for opportunities to cheat and take up every opportunity to do so. I think you generally know if you are with that type of sleazy man. I do not think every man is like this at all.

Then of course there are the men who cheat for a variety of reasons, the ones who gradually get close to another woman they are spending a lot of time with and boundaries start getting slowly crossed. Perhaps the marriage is in trouble and along comes another person giving them all this attention and then they rewrite history and so on.

We are all capable of cheating despite what we tell ourselves. You don't know what the future holds or what your marriage could have in store down the line. You can't predict someone else's actions for the rest of their lives.

I have been with my husband for almost 20 years and he hasn't been unfaithful- I am as certain of that as anyone can be. I would never say that he is incapable of cheating or that it will never happen to me. You just have to trust until you have a reason not to.

Yet to meet one. I’ve had 3 serious relationships and I’m in one now, however I believe he’s cheated on stag do’s abroad - I don’t have “evidence” and get called names. He was on Tinder a couple of years ago too… ! Previous partners broke my trust too.

Exactly this. My ex was the kind decent one..until 27 years in he wasnt anymore.
Faithful men are in the minority. Even the decent ones afger a few drinks and the offer a shag without rhe wife finding out would.

i don't think they are a myth and I do think faithful men (either by choice or circumstance) are the majority.

the minority of unfaithful men is bigger than we make it out to be though

Nope. We exist.

Mine too. Great, until he wasn't.

Not a myth, my husband is a hard working and very loyal man. I’ve never had a seconds worry that he might cheat in the nearly 30 years we’ve been together. He works away a fair bit and the thought just never crosses my mind.

He always has my back and I can 100% rely on him for anything.
He does have his faults tho, he can be untidy, and grumpy.

My dad, a bloody amazing man. 63 years married to my mum and he still thinks the sun shines out of her arse!

I thought I had one too, but as I hit menopause he had a nervous breakdown and bang, woman 16 years younger pops her bastard head up and I was ceremonially dumped. It lasted all of a couple of months before he was begging to be back. Fuck that!

I still believe more are faithful than not.

Yes of course there are.

I hate these types of threads! They genuinely make me rage!!

I have never cheated. ( 40m )
My dad has never cheated
My male best friend hasn't
My female best friend has
My mum has
My sister has

Go figure....

Please don't stereotype all men, there are plenty of goods eggs out there, and although I don't doubt there are many rotten eggs as well, The % of infidelity between men and women is actually pretty small.

'Are all these men cheating with single women!
It takes 2 to tango'
'So you hold a single woman as responsible as an attached man? Nah.'

My point which you missed is that not all married me are cheating with single women.

I think the majority of men (people) are generally decent and faithful, but I also think given the right (wrong?) conditions, anyone, even the most unlikely candidates, can cheat.

I don't mean just opportunity, but a whole culmination of circumstances and a poor decision or two along the way , and I don't think you can ever say never.

The OP doesn't appear to have returned to the thread. I wonder why.

No they are not a myth but my dad and FIL are happily married, and you can't have my husband 🙂