Is it okay in a relationship to vacation alone with a friend of the opposite sex?

[OneArtfulAnt]

In a monogamous relationship: would you be okay with your partner regularly going on one-on-one holidays that last more than 2 nights, like 5–7 days, with a platonic friend of the opposite sex — someone they had a brief romantic history with in the past?

There’s no specific reason for the trip (just a casual vacation), and this wouldn’t be a one-time thing — it happens once or twice a year, with one or two such friends.

Would you be comfortable with that, or would it make you feel uneasy?

I think that it would depend on why I wasn’t included.

If I was invited but eg hated the holiday activity and just didn’t want to go I would probably be fine with this.

If I wasn’t invited, couldn’t see a clear reason for that, and my husband couldn’t reasonably explain it to me then I would have more of a problem with it.

No.

No I would not be ok with it.

I have to be honest and I don't like to think I'm jealous or controlling....but, I can't imagine liking this.

However, it would depend on the vibes I got from the friendship iyswim. If it felt truly platonic then fine, but otherwise no, I'd not like it I have to admit

Did they ask you to go along with them?

How would they be if you said you were tagging along?

.

That would be a no from me.
It would actually be a hell no.

No.

I can see why I might do it myself but out of respect for my partner I wouldn’t, so I would expect the same courtesy.

You might find this recent thread helpful, as it's the exact same situation (unless you also posted it?)

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5322048-is-it-normal-in-a-serious-relationship-for-your-partner-to-go-on-multi-day-solo-trips-with-female-friends-especially-one-he-has-a-romantic-past-with?reply=143807193

Sorry just picked up on this

There’s no specific reason for the trip (just a casual vacation), and this wouldn’t be a one-time thing — it happens once or twice a year, with one or two such friends.

DP goes away with more than one of them?

Hmm, depends on the circs, if I was invited or could tag along if I wanted then no issue. If not then I'd be wishing them well and not seeing DP or is special friends again.

No obviously not.

I'm not a jealous person.. I wouldn't be bothered about the friendship. Although, I'm not sure I'd understand the need for 2 holidays a year of 5-7 days. Frankly, I'm not sure I like anyone enough to spend 5-7 days on holiday with them. Sometimes not even my H 😆

Nope. No way.

I wouldn’t and am not jealous at all.

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this. Most people wouldn’t be if they are honest.

No from me

No of course not.

No, not a chance.

This

im not jealous but wouldn’t be comfortable and I’ve had lots of male friends I’ve holidayed with, never while in a serious relationship though.

I’d be fine if it was truly a platonic friend. But someone they were previously involved with? That would be a no from me. The only exception is if they had young children and going away and staying separate rooms so my DP could give the ex a break and support with the kids. Even that would be agreement under duress.

Haha, as if!

Nope. Bad enough him doing it with one woman, but more than one meand he's got a harem, and when you are an 'ex' he'll probably make you part of it and take YOU on cosy holidays!

Not in my relationship it wouldn't be
Not a chance

Nope

Not jealous or insecure and I’m happy for my partner to have female friends - I have a few good male ones. But no this is a line crossed imo.

I wouldn’t even think about going away on holiday with my make friends 1 on 1 so I’d want the same courtesy from my partner.