Is it okay in a relationship to vacation alone with a friend of the opposite sex?

[OneArtfulAnt]

In a monogamous relationship: would you be okay with your partner regularly going on one-on-one holidays that last more than 2 nights, like 5–7 days, with a platonic friend of the opposite sex — someone they had a brief romantic history with in the past?

There’s no specific reason for the trip (just a casual vacation), and this wouldn’t be a one-time thing — it happens once or twice a year, with one or two such friends.

Would you be comfortable with that, or would it make you feel uneasy?

Yes, if there was no romantic history and it was a long term friend.

no, if there was any kind of romantic history, even a few dates or a kiss many years ago.

Every relationship has different boundaries , my best friend is female and I wouldn’t accept a relationship with someone who didn’t accept my relationship with my best friend.

No. I’m not a cool wife though. And DH would be very unhappy as well. I regularly go away with a female friend.

Only if I was a fool.

Which I am not.

This happened to me when I was young. I later discovered he’d been sleeping with her throughout our two year relationship. I had no idea. So based on experience that would be a hard no.

I am what people on MN decide is a cool wife. This would bother me.

It’s a no from me

ive got a very good male friend who I was friends with foryears before he met his wife. Over the 20 years I’ve known him we've worked together prob 15 years on and off ( same industry)

we'd have lunch out together maybe once every 6 weeks and do go out still on wider work catch ups. His wife (same industry) is always invited (declines) but does join us for racing days out etc

no way would I want to go away a few nights with him and his wife would be absolutely right to feel uncomfortable

somethings not right here

That would be an absolute no from me. I’d bin him and move on, life’s too short to deal with that.

Nope, no way. No fuckin way, actually, lol.

No.
and the same answer for less then 2 nights.

No.

Just the 2 of them? No way.

As part of a group, where DP happened to be the only one of their sex, possibly. Although not twice a year!

First post nails it

if I were genuinely welcome to join them and didn’t want to and the days away did not prevent any other holidays that I do want to do, then I’d be cool with it. I might join in occasionally just out of interest but otherwise, knock yourself out.

Absolutely not ok.

She wasnt invited.

Nope not a chance. I’d be serving DH divorce papers if he did this.

I'm not sure if I'd say fine through gritted teeth, but I'd hate it.

No, because I can’t imagine myself doing the same unless I was hoping something might happen on the trip with said “friend”.

I’m happily married to Dh and have been for 17 years. But I certainly have a handful of friends (who I keep in touch with on social media) who I once dated, including one I had a serious long term relationship with. I’m very happy to wish them a happy birthday once a year, congratulate them on something their child did, whatever. They are perfectly nice guys. But I would never meet up with any of them one to one and I definitely wouldn’t go on holiday with any of them.

Unless I was looking for a little dalliance, which I definitely am not. I’d go off travelling on my own or with a female friend or dh instead. Even if nothing happened, it’s the optics of it.

No! Only if the friend were a lesbian. But frankly we are parents in our 40s and we don’t have time/money to holiday regularly with friends, male or female.

I’ve never gone on a one-on-one holiday with a straight man I wasn’t dating. Quite weird imo!

No.

My partner goes away with a female friend every year, but she is a lesbian (with a wife of her own.) And he has invited me to join them, but I’m happy to leave them to their hobby.
He’s been away with single female colleagues several times. As I have with male colleagues. I suppose that is similar.

And you have had sec with them? And he has had sex with the ones he goes away with?

no i wouldn't mind personally but i'm weird, i actually wish my partner had more friends

If it’s an ex then no, that would be odd

An only ever platonic friend then fine with a holiday, but probably not that many (regardless of whether the friend was male or female)

Nope. I wouldn't do it and wouldn't like my husband to do it either.

Rationally, I think it would be fine. They're just friends. What difference does it make what sex they are? But honestly, I'd be really unhappy about it. I don't know why, but I would.