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Relationships

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Original poster

how often do you argue???

33 replies

Memoo · 18/05/2008 22:42

DP and I seem to go through phases of arguing, and then we're ok for a bit, we just had a barny cos he put my new top in tumble dryer and shrunk it!!!! I love him dearly but worry when we argue that its a bad sign???

OP posts:

FairyMum · 18/05/2008 22:43

We have one massive "I am moving out and taking the kids"-fight once a month and without fail I get my period the next day

Beauregard · 18/05/2008 22:44

We argue a lot ,actually come to think of it i argue with myself a lot of the time.

Twinklemegan · 18/05/2008 22:46

I hate arguing with DH - I even get a little scared of him sometimes when he's angry (not that he would EVER hurt me in any way). After DS was born we argued all the time, and he was on the verge of walking out a couple of times - it was just dreadful. Now we hardly ever argue. Whenever we have argued in the past it's almost alway been about money - I think we're both finally used to not having any.

chewlips · 18/05/2008 22:46

We go through phases of not arguing at all, then we go through arguing over petty things - usually when DH has been away! After a few days all is ok. Hate the Man but also at the same time adore him! BLOODY MEN!

gigglewitch · 18/05/2008 22:48

for a few days every month when i have pmt and therefore he is a lazy idle DH.
The rest of the time he is fab - so just maybe it's me...

tigana · 18/05/2008 22:50

Depends where in my cycle I am I think!
Add to that a late night or 2 through work for DH and whump!. Sniping, stropping and swearing.

Very rarely over important things and very rarely a 'proper' row.

peacelily · 18/05/2008 22:51

We argue a lot, we don't agree on much, sometimes he irritates the s**t out of me,he is HARD work to live with.

Love him but sometimes feel as if everything is a bit of a battle. Main themes, his Mother, money, parenting, and the biggie, housework (dh is indescribably dirty and messy).

Original poster

Memoo · 18/05/2008 22:52

ours are always over daft things, its like i store them all up and then all it takes is one little thing and i lose it with him. poor bloke doesn't know where to put himself when i go off on one!!

OP posts:

Beauregard · 18/05/2008 22:56

Lack of multi tasking ability in dp

Lack of common sense in dp

His mother

Money

These are the main triggers for our arguments

BlueyDragon · 18/05/2008 23:10

The monthly thing sounds about right, although a regular cycle would make things easier as I could predict what was going on(until he muttered the immortal words "Is it that time of the month again?", at which point all hell would break loose). A whole weekend of not being at home, followed by coming home on Sunday p.m. then switching on the motor racing and leaving me to look after DD was the cause of the last fight. Otherwise it's petty stuff. It is quite healthy to fight sometimes though IMHO - eternal pink fluffy bunny love is for movies and the unimaginative.

Cause of the next one may be me saying I was going to do some work and then spending 50% of the evening on MN...

Original poster

Memoo · 18/05/2008 23:25

i think one of the main reasons we argue is because deep down i don't think he appreciates how hard i work 24/7. we have 2 kids and 2 from his first marriage that we have most weekends. i also work part time in a school. i do the majority of the house work and to be honest i'm bloody knackered. its not that i mind doing so much because i know he works hard too and has a stressy job, its just the fact that its taken for granted that i will do everything.

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 18/05/2008 23:28

Most days. Today I would like to kill him, preferably with maximum pain (and minimum blood letting - I have enough washing to do)

handlemecarefully · 18/05/2008 23:29

I think (major prejudice alert - sorry) most men are fundamentally flawed in so many ways, but I am prepared to accept that I may only think like that because of the one I am married to

Original poster

Memoo · 18/05/2008 23:33

all men are really 6 year old boys!!

OP posts:

amytheearwaxbanisher · 18/05/2008 23:41

we did loads our first year of living together[ds born in that time so extra stress] we dont anymore cant be arsed!the odd you left a wet towel on the floor type thing but nothing important

TattooedGrrrl · 19/05/2008 12:36

very rarely. In 10 years i can count maybe 5 times, which have never been verbally or physically abusive.

even if i wanted to argue with him, i couldn't. He's too laid back to care!

Weegle · 19/05/2008 12:56

Not often! I don't have the energy for it, daft as that sounds. But in all fairness I'm not often given grounds to get annoyed with DH, if we do row it's normally due to tiredness/thoughtlessness on one/both our parts and when we realise that and work together we seem to realign and do much better again.

VictorianSqualor · 19/05/2008 13:09

We don't really argue, one of us gets pissed off and complains, then dependant on mood it might get a little shouty but we normally end up laughing instead, or just stropping and doing the silent sulk for ten minutes then it's all back to normal.

I don't think arguing is a bad sign though, it's what happens if you live with someone, I do think continuous bickering or being completely uninterested n each other and never arguing is worse than arguing every so often tbh.

pinkmook · 19/05/2008 13:18

peacelily - I could have written that

handlemecarefully - yes and yes!

Memoo - thought it was just mine that acted like a 6 yr old! Everyones DH's I know seem to be helpful, considerate TIDY people

Nagapie · 19/05/2008 13:21

I think 'Groundhog Day' every time we fight - it is without exception about the same things and we never get any resolution...

DH asking me if it is the time of month when I tell him to do something is like a refd rag to a bull...

I don't think arguing is a bad thing - but it is draining..

We have the most argumentative, shouty neighbour who only shouts at his family - it keeps us in check !!

ScoobyDoo · 19/05/2008 13:23

We have been arguing alot lately, some very big rows too

In fact i have just told dp i am packing his bags & putting them on the doorstep!

doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 13:27

Not often. We disagree a lot - usually sort it out before we start to argue. Maybe a bit of a snap at each other a couple of times a month.

Both of us also ok with apologising fairly quickly afterwards.

As I am 39 wks pg, I am anticipating a massive upsurge in the arguments pretty soon - at least that's what happened when dd was newborn

LoveMyGirls · 19/05/2008 13:28

Every few months (around pmt time) we have 1 big row then we're fine.

Dp can be quite argumentitive (gets this from his dad) and as much as i try not to get drawn in sometimes I just don't have a choice especially when i've got pmt and he's being argumentitive and he's done something to annoy me!

Our last row was in march (mothers day to be exact) so not bad going really.

I thought we might have had one this weekend because I've had pmt and he wanted to stay in leeds for the night (which would have meant me having to do everything on my own from sat am to sun lunchtime including food shopping, washing and packing all dc's clothes for their 2 week holiday as well as entertaining our dd's) but I managed to get a friend to go out with for the day, we went swimming and to soft play then we food shopped and had dinner altogether so was a really nice day then my brother babysat I went out for a few drinks and dp
managed to get home in time to pick me up from the pub so we could have sunday together to get everything done we both worked really hard all day and finally collapsed together at about 9.30pm and by then everything was done and we were shattered

CaptainKarvol · 19/05/2008 13:30

Pretty much never, which people always seem to see as a bad sign. But I don't think it is, not for us. We both get totally stressed out by anger, neither of us wants it, so we tend to raise issues very carefully and talk about stuff rather than argue it out.

Gobbledigook · 19/05/2008 13:32

Not very often. I gripe at him just before I get my period and I notice every single thing he hasn't done.

He recognises the reason now so he just lets it wash over him

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