Please be gentle on me as my nerves are in tatters over this. DH has always been a difficult person to communicate with. Not just with me, he is like this with his family. So it's impossible for me to get any clarity from him and tbh I have given up trying. But my life with him is totally devoid of joy because he will literally hoover the mood when he's in one of his slumps. Firstly, he hates his job and for ages now keeps saying he's on the brink of being made redundant. So far it's not happened and when I ask him why he thinks this, specifically, he just gets agitated and says 'trust me'. Obviously, when he does this, it is very unnerving and I feel no closer to understanding why he thinks it and I'm fucking fed up of it. Recently, our car was keyed. He's convinced that we are being targeted but there's no evidence of this. The neighbour put out a toy for collection and he reckoned this was a marker so whoever scratched our car would know which one to get. Again, there is no evidence of this. He's now keeping knives under the bed for protection. I have removed them. He drinks every night. Not a huge amount but nights where he doesn't drink are rare.
I have told him that I cannot cope with him going on like this. Classic DARVO, when I get upset because of how he's acting, he tells me he cannot cope with me going on like this. Suddenly, I'm the problem. I'm firmly NOT the problem. We have two DCs 11 and 13. I have no family nearby. His family would be more of a hindrance so I don't want to involve them. I work full time and have a very stressful life and honestly, I'm at the limit of what I can take. Can anyone help me make sense of what's happening here and what I can do? I have very little hope of him seeking help for himself or indeed any help being worthwhile because he is incredibly paranoid.