He has an issue with me posting pictures of myself

[onelabridoorbecametwo]

We've been together under a year so it's still early-ish days.

He tends to act funny whenever I upload pictures of myself on social media. He never, ever 'likes' or comments on them but seems to take issue if others do.

I don't post myself often but if I've made an effort for an event or whatever I'll pop a picture on of my outfit/make-up. I was at a concert on Wednesday and put up the photo on Thursday.

We were out to lunch yesterday, all happy, then when I got home I got a notification that he'd 'liked' my Facebook post (which was a selfie I put up a few days ago - he doesn't use SM that much and wouldn't have seen it until then)

He then immediately 'unliked' the picture and has been ignoring me since, leaving me on read.

What I think happened was he was trying to see who had 'liked' it and liked it himself by mistake. There was a couple of complimentary comments on there, three by female friends and one a male childhood friend. I think he's pissed off about the male one.

He's now blanking me.

What do you even say about something like this?

I think if I come straight out with it he's going to deny there's an issue but it's a theme I've been observing for months after getting a niggle when he reacted strangely to me posting a picture in a (perfectly normal) dress.

The other week he asked me when the last time was that I was approached by a man in the street, does it ever happen, how often does it happen if it does, what about when I'm at work. Etc.

He has all the signs of a man with controlling, insecure, jealous, possessive man disease.

People like that think they own their partner (and have the right,/entitlement to). Anything you do that makes them feel anxious or insecure - regardless of how reasonable - is your fault. You are "offending", you are acting badly, you are not respecting them and the relationship.....it is never ever their problem to deal with their feelings in a mature, measured way.

They want to put their partners in a cage.
Unfortunately for them our society (unlike some others which ensure women are never in the company of men unchaperoned, while the men in their society do what they like with whoever) they cannot, so what they'll do is try to put you in a cage of rules & expectations, established and reinforced by punishments, stress etc.

(Interestingly they rarely think their partners own them, and even if they did, that still wouldn't be a remotely healthy relationship).

End the relationship today also because the only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.

it’s over now anyway because of the silent treatment he’s given you. This is abuse from him and there is indeed no reasoning with someone like he.

Read Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft.

Yep.

It's very tempting to believe this behaviour is because someone cares a lot or is insecure.

And they play on those assumptions too.

But as Lundy Bancroft said (I think) this isn't about love, this is about ownership.

Indeed this bloke you’ve been with OP wants to keep you in a cage of his own paranoid making.

He’s a walking red flag. Before long if you continue this relationship he’ll be hitting all the using isolation points on this image. Of course he won’t acknowledge he’s abusive, he’ll just justify his actions by saying it’s just because he likes you so much, because he’s been cheated on before and because while he trusts YOU, he just can’t trust other men because he knows what they’re like. For now though he’s happy to use the silent treatment to achieve his goal of getting you to be a good compliant girl, who stops posting pictures of herself and engaging with other males. Eventually if you stay in this relationship he’ll likely achieve his goal, because it’s easier than experiencing the stress and anxiety of being ignored or punished for any imagined wrongdoing he decides you’ve committed.

your latest update, makes me go ' oh dear ' - get rid.
you are about the same age as my dd, and I would be carefully telling her the same.

Dump him. He's a childish and controlling.

He has just text me something random to do with a bet he's put on. He hasn't mentioned the picture or friends comments, and I didn't expect him to. He's a passive aggressive and will do that before he'll ever be direct. Looks like I've served my 'time' for that picture.

I am going to respond in a minute because he needs to know the lift is no longer required (I bought a train ticket) otherwise he'll probably turn up at the door.

I'm going to end it.

I was in a relationship with a man like this - though he tried to ban all separate socialising from a few months in.

I swallowed all the lines about insecurity. About caring a lot, being in love etc.

I swallowed the lies that he ended his previous few relationships and what caused them to end.

I tried to reason with him.

Every month or so there was something.

If I'd "offended" badly, hed threaten to end the relationship or speak like he was ending it.... But not follow through when I contacted him.

It never stopped and it never changed.

He was not capable of changing and didn't want to.

When I discussed it on here , a poster described him as developmentally stunted/immature and I could see exactly what they meant.
Some people, for various reasons, don't develop & mature past childish behavioural.patterns. possessive, controlling, egotistical, selfish. Unable to take responsibility for their own emotions and instead throwing it outward "you must not do anything that causes me to have that emotion.... (I don't care if what you're doing is normal or reasonable, I don't care if you will be unnaturally and unreasonably restricted, I'm the one who matters, I run the show and you'll do what I want or you'll be punished or dumped").

They won't dump you of course, because then they'd have to start from the beginning with another woman who may not be much different, do they'll just keep on trying to get what they want. They would never ever see their behaviour as abuse, they believe they're in the right and even a victim.

He also has certain chauvinist values underpinning a lot of his behaviour; and values rarely change either.

Never, ever accept any shit behaviour from a man.

Sulking, silent treatment and stonewalling is abuse, used by scumbags to manipulate and destroy their victims and have them pandering to the abuser, walking on eggshells.

The only reason to date a man is for him to make your life enhanced, easier and fun.

This boyfriend should be told that you no longer find him attractive and the relationship is over. No indulging him in a conversation, argument or any attention at all.

If I had a bf whom was on SM all the time I would think he was a self absorbed dick
The only person really interested in your photos is you

Where did OP write that she's on SM all the time and that she thinks other people are interested in her photos?

Men who are passive aggressive, manipulative, sulkers are self absorbed dicks, surely.

Dump dump dump!

he has no right to police your posting of pictures, and is rude and ignorant to blank you.

he couldn’t be more of a red flag if he painted himself maroon and flew himself off the top of Buckingham Palace.

its simple. He doesn't want you to do something you want to do. Either stop doing it (but it will get worse) or dump him.

Throw this one back! His ‘insecurities’ are his problem and he shouldn’t try to make them yours.

So many men like this. They seem to think that women exist only for men, not in their own right. The entitlement is breathtaking.

Well done for choosing to end it now OP, before he becomes coercively controlling and abusive. His behaviour over the photos and comments is a MASSIVE red flag and usually the first signs of a controlling, abusive partner. I’m glad you’ve chosen to end it before he ruins your self-esteem and makes you feel utterly worthless, because 100% this was the direction he was going. Have you spoken to him yet? How did he take the news?

This nails it

when someone shows you who they are, believe them. He is a sulker and needs to be thrown overboard. Sooner the better

Honestly, you life will be better and better without him. Trust me on this one.

Red flag waving passive aggressive sulky hypcrite. He has made it easy for you.
Dump and block.
Have a lovely visit x

This would only get a lot worse.
End it.
No discussion.
He is an abusive man.
He is controlling.
Be glad you spotted it.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk to help you spot this behaviour quicker.

This is not a good man.
Be prepared for him back tracking.

Kindly, is he 12?

Ignoring someone because who liked their social media posts?

My children might do this, and even then it's a might. I can't imagine this in an adult context.

Good! End it and mean it.

Dont give in to attempts to reel you back with empty promises.

If he doesn’t understand the word no then it’s time to block.

Good luck - you will feel so much better without this deadweight on your shoulders

Great. Take control and dump him
He’s told you who he is

Just read your opening post op but, it smacks of him not liking you doing anything that could boost your self esteem.

Only narcissists and similar behave this way.

They don't want you confident and happy. They want you miserable and insecure.

Why on earth would it be worth staying with someone...who frankly, sees you and treats you as their enemy?