He has an issue with me posting pictures of myself

[onelabridoorbecametwo]

We've been together under a year so it's still early-ish days.

He tends to act funny whenever I upload pictures of myself on social media. He never, ever 'likes' or comments on them but seems to take issue if others do.

I don't post myself often but if I've made an effort for an event or whatever I'll pop a picture on of my outfit/make-up. I was at a concert on Wednesday and put up the photo on Thursday.

We were out to lunch yesterday, all happy, then when I got home I got a notification that he'd 'liked' my Facebook post (which was a selfie I put up a few days ago - he doesn't use SM that much and wouldn't have seen it until then)

He then immediately 'unliked' the picture and has been ignoring me since, leaving me on read.

What I think happened was he was trying to see who had 'liked' it and liked it himself by mistake. There was a couple of complimentary comments on there, three by female friends and one a male childhood friend. I think he's pissed off about the male one.

He's now blanking me.

What do you even say about something like this?

I think if I come straight out with it he's going to deny there's an issue but it's a theme I've been observing for months after getting a niggle when he reacted strangely to me posting a picture in a (perfectly normal) dress.

I’ll be honest, it would be bad enough(and still a red flag) if he could have an adult discussion about this, explaining his thinking and feelings about it in a well reasoned way. The sulking and silent treatment are even worse.

I laughed out loud at this, but you're absolutely right.

What a jerk. I reckon, if you had a think about other behaviours he has exhibited, this won't be the only incident where he behaves in such a nasty way. Get rid.

I think I'm going to leave him to his sulk and not bother calling as I usually would. He is meant to be driving me down to my parents on Monday afternoon so it'll be interesting to see if he materialises before then. I'm going to book a train ticket instead.

Police here OP.

This is very text book beginnings of CCB. As one poster has stated he is starting to train you. You are questioning your own posts. Before you know it you wont post any as it wont be worth the 'hassle'

I am sure when its the two of you he is lovely and will claim he has insecurities, cant believe your with him, he just loves you so much and is jealous of others finding you attractive and is worried you may leave him as he cant imagine life is worth living without you in it...

Very similar to an ex of mine and I didn’t even use social media! Regardless of how it manifests, the core issue is jealousy which is extremely toxic and as someone who experienced it for just over two years, it only gets worse and escalates. My ex had an issue with me replying to YouTube comments even and would give me the silent treatment if I had to go away for work. Despite me being an introvert more than anything and always dressing modestly he was fixated with the idea of me cheating and eventually resulted in him spying on me. These types of men are just living in their own world as he saw nothing wrong with his behaviour and it was at the point he started pushing for us to sell our respective houses and move in together that I just left him. You’re much younger than I am, please don’t waste precious years with him like I did with my ex!

He's exerting control and hoping to train you into putting his wants and needs first. Please don't engage further and take this as the wake up call to consider this relationship toxic and over. Once you move on, be prepared for him to try and reel you back in. Do not let him promise to change. This is who he is. A man who thinks you should not have your own mind and choices.

Yup. 100%.

OP love that you can see this isn’t right but do some work on your boundaries and what you want in a partner as this should have been over the first time. You want a cheer leader not a manipulative prick

Just seen your update - do go in the train but end the relationship officially first. It’s not interesting how he will respond. It’s irrelevant to your future.the more you interact the more damaging it is.

oh dear.

well luckily this silly young boy has ended the relationship himself by blanking you

that's the end of that !

and thankfully you have realised he is controlling / possessive before you invested even more of your life with / for him.

Update your profile pic, especially if its one of you with him

"He has an issue" is where you dump him.

As always first post nails it.

He’s a jealous controlling wanker - don’t try and save diverging that’s only going to cause you drama and stress

Well then he can tell her he dislikes social media use in any form.

Rather than blanking her entirely like a child.

Honestly in your shoes I’d buy a train ticket, send a message saying I’m going by train now and leave him to it.

Dont send anything more after that and just let him go

Buy the train ticket op and move on. Who wants this in their relationship? Your partner should be someone who supports you and wants you to be happy. There are better men out there.

nothing to discuss. You have done nothing wrong. Hes just a prick,

I think id message saying that you have been wondering why he keeps giving you the silent treatment for random things, but youve decided that isnt the sort of relationship you want and theres no point trying to work out his ever changing bizarre values, that its best that you call it a day, and you wish him all the best.

Jealous, insecure, controlling, making you responsible for how he feels, sulking, blanking you, liking, disliking, being emotionally manipulative - yeah, just a few red flags, OP 😂

And why? Because you’ve posted a picture of yourself in a nice dress? Because other people might find you attractive?

You’ve been with him less than a year. Cut your losses and run, because this shit will be much, much worse in another year.

Get the train on Monday regardless of whether he turns up or not, and be thankful for the early warning and a lucky escape. Nobody should live under the cloud of someone else’s insecurity and all the miserable fuckery that comes with it.

He definitely has insecurity issues. A friend of his sent me a friend request and he was really annoyed about it.

He has made comments about other men looking at me when we've been on nights out. I don't think he likes it when I go on a night out without him.

The other week he asked me when the last time was that I was approached by a man in the street, does it ever happen, how often does it happen if it does, what about when I'm at work. Etc.

I thought he was just a bit insecure due to being cheated on in the past but now I'm putting it all together it does sound like the start of coercive and controlling behaviour.

Thank you for the wake up call.

Glad you’ve seen him for who he is. It’s hard when it’s a drip ,drip ,drip of little things ,especially when spaced out and seemingly unrelated, but at the end they come together to paint a pretty grim picture of control. This will never be a happy or healthy relationship.

I posted my comment on the basis of OP saying in her opening post he didn't use social media much.
After her updates I agree he is totally unreasonable.

This still sounds like you're planning on continuing the relationship when he gets back in touch.

Please tell me the only conversation you're going to have with him is to dump him.

I think it's a perfectly normal thing to post the odd picture if you're dressed up for an event. It's not something I do but I have many Facebook friends who do and I often comment you're looking fab or something like that.

From your updates it seems he has a problem with jealously/insecurity. Big red flag if you ask me!

He was abroad last month and put up multiple photos of himself in trunks and it never occurred to me that it was inappropriate. I just thought ah what a lovely picture.
Such a double standard.

What an utter hypocrite.

You're never going to have a good,fair, functional relationship with someone like this.