Misread signals gah!

[ThatAquaRobin]

Argh. I was married for 14 years and I'm almost 49. Very out of practice
Plucked up the courage to go on a solos holiday, and I'm glad I did.
But
Now feeling totally deflated after, I think misreading signals. Lovely guy, I'd guess a few years younger, maybe 44-45 ish.
Lots of eye contact smiling and sitting near each other on the sofa when chatting with the small group of guests (thigh contact)
Much wine and beer was consumed
4 days and nights later and I got up early to say goodbye to him (his transfer was earlier)
We chatted briefly and he scuttles out when his taxi arrived.
I have been quite open about my two kids a s divorce, lots of open chats. He was a bit of a closed book compared to the rest of the small group.
Argh.
I feel I will make a prat of myself if I message him.
What 45 (ish) man wants an older woman. With 2 kids?!

Can you text him OP? Might he not be on WhatsApp? That shows as one grey tick

Any man that uses more than one phone makes me 🤨. How much do you know about him? And why wouldn’t he give you his ‘normal’ phone number?

I think she’d look a bit odd if he can see she’s messaged then deleted a WhatsApp then messaged his phone too 🙈

Well maybe she can give it a couple of days to see if he appears on what’s app and if not text him? It’s not like she will see him again so may as well make sure he gets the message

We were all on Whatsapp (group) when on the holiday.
If he does the job he says (and I've no reason to doubt this because he was very sincere) then I can see why he may have a work phone. And no it's not MI5!

Who knows? I think it's either a phone he uses for getting away on holiday, or he's blocked me. Or alternatively I'm now double ticked and he's ignored me (on read)

When did you delete it? You know it may only delete on your own phone.

At the very least it will say message deleted at his end.

OP I think you’re making your stress levels worse by deleting because you'll just keep wondering if he would have replied once he’d seen it. If he didn’t reply then you can just move on without any what ifs.

I’m a legal assistant (basically a typist!) and I have a work phone (mobile). Loads of people do these days, and if he has a “very important job”, he’s most definitely does.

As you say, it might be a phone/SIM he just uses abroad. Or has deleted WhatsApp for some reason, or just had no reception. There’s many reasons why it wasn’t delivered. As you deleted it before it was delivered, he won’t see that you have tried to message him.

Someone else mentioned you couldn’t be in a WhatsApp group with someone who has blocked you. That’s not true - you just can’t ADD them to a group.

Another poster mentioned her friend logging out of WhatsApp- that’s not possible. There’s no way to “log out” of WhatsApp. Is she deleting and reinstalling it everyday? And why would you bother? Just turn off notifications and receipts/last seen. That’s what I do.

Finally, OP, it was a very short time you knew him for, and you’ll be over him just as quickly. I hope someone else comes along who feels the same way as you in the not too distant future. Have fun with your friends. 😊

No…if it wasn’t delivered it will never show in his phone. It has to have been delivered for him to see it’s been deleted 😁

Not true - as mentioned above.

That's exactly what I was thinking!

@ThatAquaRobin Get on the group and post about how you had a great holiday and he might overcome a shyness and contact you that way initially.

Apologies for nhrth it moved fast by the time I posted

Now he will be wondering what you said and deleted 😂😂 Rescue the situation by posting some random shit on the group chat and then send him a sorry I sent this purely to you in error. Covers what you've done and gives another go at it 😂

@CiscoTS they mean turning the data off and looking at messages then turning it back on ( I think ? )

https://faq.whatsapp.com/1370476507114859/?cms_platform=iphone

??

There are two options - delete for me or delete for everyone. If the message hasn’t got to that person (1 grey tick) and she chose delete for everyone then he shouldn’t get a notification it was ever there

That must be very reassuring for OP ☺️

I just clicked on the chat and selected 'delete this chat'
While it was on a grey tick (one tick)

I don't really want to take the risk of sending another because I haven't clicked 'delete for everyone'
Anyway it would make me look like a stalker if I sent the same thing twice x

To be honest OP I would send it again.
i assume you won’t see him again otherwise so it’s a bit of a nothing ventured nothing gained scenario. It sounds like he won’t see that message as you’ve deleted it. However appreciate you may not wish to put your neck on the line.

I deleted the chat. Not the sent message.

oh I see so it was just for your eyes only not to see the chat and antagonise yourself every time you open the app! Stops the itchy hands :)

I hope he replies, I wouldn't say blocking you is the most logical answer, it's probably he deactivated read receipts for the 1 tick to appear or hasn't put it on internet yet for some reason. I think if he disliked you so much as to block you you would've sensed dislike. Here, he is either friendly or flirty. I'd just leave it and not send anything further unless he replies.

IMO men aren't too shy to approach, they usually do think you're attractive and enjoy the experience of flirting because the ego boost feels good but for a reason that they know, they don't proceed further with the flirting. You could smile, bat your eyelashes, put a hand on his thigh but if he won't he won't.

Be proud of yourself for trying and take it as a nice experience that there is hope you could feel this way again.

P.S I can romanticise friendliness as flirtyness when I fancy a guy so I ask myself if this behaviour was done by an unattractive man or to another woman in front of me would I still think he fancied her or is this my bias and wishful thinking?

Thank you for updating us, OP! I have just Googled one grey tick on Whatsapp and it means that the message has been sent but not delivered. So it's possible that his phone is off or he is somewhere that doesn't have good signal.

I think you are really scared of rejection and I get it. I think you should try contacting him again in a few days. You only asked a casual question, it's not as though you proposed marriage. 🙂

I hope he gets in touch or that you find the courage to try again. As Del Boy used to say, 'he who dares wins, Rodney!'