Misread signals gah!

[ThatAquaRobin]

Argh. I was married for 14 years and I'm almost 49. Very out of practice
Plucked up the courage to go on a solos holiday, and I'm glad I did.
But
Now feeling totally deflated after, I think misreading signals. Lovely guy, I'd guess a few years younger, maybe 44-45 ish.
Lots of eye contact smiling and sitting near each other on the sofa when chatting with the small group of guests (thigh contact)
Much wine and beer was consumed
4 days and nights later and I got up early to say goodbye to him (his transfer was earlier)
We chatted briefly and he scuttles out when his taxi arrived.
I have been quite open about my two kids a s divorce, lots of open chats. He was a bit of a closed book compared to the rest of the small group.
Argh.
I feel I will make a prat of myself if I message him.
What 45 (ish) man wants an older woman. With 2 kids?!

No not messaged him before. Just this one.

I am annoyed at all the nay sayers on here !

you have absolutely nothing to lose and I’d be disappointed in you if you wimp out - he could be the love of your life !

send
hi x hope you are well, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your company blah blah blah and wondered if you would like to meet up sometime , let me know if you would

you never have to see him again if he rebuffs you , worse case scenario is you boost a chaps ego !

Well done for plucking up the courage to send a message, but try to dial down your paranoia! His phone may have run out of battery, or might be switched off, or he might be somewhere with no signal. Calm yourself. That level of anxiety is going to destroy any potential relationship building!

@ThatAquaRobin your message was completely reasonable. I don’t think you’ve been blocked—I think his phone is off.

Anyway, you’ve done nothing wrong, and if nothing happens, at least you know you’ve tried! No shame in that.

Savour that you know it's all still awake in you and keep open to other opportunities 🙂

That’s just you catastrophising! He may switch his phone off overnight and be having a sleep in!

Could he have been interested in something casual on the holiday but not beyond that?

TBH, I don't think he was interested full stop

It wasn’t meant to be OP!! You’ve been brave putting yourself out there. Think of this as a stepping stone. Don’t let this affect you more than it (he) deserves to.

Try take a negative over a positive. I hadn’t been on a date or anything for 5 years, I met someone and got all the butterflies. We went on a few dates and it fizzled out from his end. I felt gutted, the rejection was strong. However, it made me feel alive. Those feelings in me weren’t dead and made me think about future possibilities. The next date I went on, well I haven’t got rid of him yet and we somehow have a house a dog a toddler. See it as a new beginning full of possibilities xx

A grey tick doesn’t mean you’ve been blocked necessarily, just the message hasn’t reached yet maybe because his phone is off. Regardless, you’ve been brave enough to message and even if you don’t hear nothing back it doesn’t take away the growth from going on a solo holiday and being proactive 😊

I had this a few years ago. I felt that he was keen and started to allow myself to like him. And then once I did, he kind of pulled away again. It make me doubt the veracity of my feelings. But looking back with more distance and less emotion, to be honest, I think he was testing the water, but decided I just wasn't for him.

Again, now there is more distance, I also think that he wasn't the right man for me anyway, but that as we get older there is SO little choice in good men, that I'd allowed myself to like someone who when I was young, I wouldn't have considered or been interested in.

You never know what his private life really might be, he could have a wife/gf (or bf?) even though he was on a solo holiday.

I did similar once, he rejected the offer (I was momentarily 🤦‍♀️) but then just thought oh well and moved on, I didn’t even have kids at the time to possibly put him off lol.

Grey tick just means it hasn’t been delivered yet, I used to get that on my son’s phone when he was at uni, I don’t think it necessarily means blocked.

Can you see his profile pic? Or last seen?

No. But then he had no profile pic when I'd added him as a contact during the holiday too.
I have changed my settings to look at whether he has 'last seen' (I normally have that turned off) but it's not visible for him. But then neither is it for some of the rest of the group members either.

Who knows?

Sorry if I missed this, but what time did you message him? If it was this morning, he could simply be in a poor reception area and not seen your message? TBH if someone messaged me in the same way you messaged him, I wouldn’t block them, even if I wasn’t interested, as that would be a bit extreme?

Just before 10am

So did you add him as a contact after working out which was him from the group chat or did he voluntarily exchange numbers with you?

I'm out with friends later tonight anyway. I'd just hoped to have something positive to share with them.
Bless them, these friends have held me up since my ex H left me in 2021. They have listened to my tears and rants about loving a man who wanted out of our marriage.
It was so nice to 'feel' something for a different man again, even if I was wrong.

In a group chat, you can look at your last message and see who read it and at what time.

And I know someone who is logged out of WhatsApp permanently. She’ll log in every day, but when she’s finished instead of swiping away, she’ll actually log out.

But even if nothing comes of it, that’s fine. You’re sparkly enough to sit thigh to thigh and chat in a jacuzzi (presumably not wearing much?) and have friends you’re meeting tonight. That’s a lot more than some other people! You’ll meet other people, just maybe not today 😂.

Thankyou.
There is a other possibility. We were talking about work emails (and blocking them when on holiday) and he said that he uses another phone.
I just assumed he meant one phone for work and one phone for everything else.
It's possible I guess he has a phone for overseas holidays.
Either than or I'm blocked.
Or left on read
I don't know which because I deleted the WhatsApp. I was finding it too stressful to look at one grey tick. ☹️

In my experience a man will let you know if he is interested. But you don't have a lot to lose by sending him a message.

Yeh I know. That's why I feel a prat.

You deleted whatsapp? But what if he’s replied to your message, and he’s now currently staring at the one grey tick on his reply in return 👀

She deleted THE WhatsApp. So the one she sent him. Not the entire app.