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Original poster

Partner doesn't like haircut

95 replies

iamaleo18 · 22/04/2025 23:15

Been with my partner for a very long time. I have always had hair half way down my back until last year. I saw a photo of my hair from behind and it looked so ratty so I chopped it off to my shoulders to help it grow better. Partner chucked a big tanty saying "I'm not in a relationship with a boy" and "oh I doesn't matter what I like".
My hair seems to grow unevenly so iv been getting trims (nothing ott) but it is taking a long time for it to grow longer.
Anyways what are your thoughts? Should he have a say in how I have my hair? I do kind of get it because he's the one looking at me but at the same time I'm like wtf this is my hair I'll do what I like with it. It's not like I have gone and shaved my head or got a pixie cut.
This is not the first time this issue has arose either.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 22/04/2025 23:16

He’s a twat.

SwedishEdith · 22/04/2025 23:16

He sounds pathetic.

shellyleppard · 22/04/2025 23:18

An old saying....."suits the wearer, not the starer". Hair will always grow back. If he's not happy tough its your choice

outerspacepotato · 22/04/2025 23:21

What a controlling dipshit sexist asshole.

"Partner chucked a big tanty saying "I'm not in a relationship with a boy" and "oh I doesn't matter what I like"."

Hair length does not make someone male, moron.

Wear your hair how you want. I couldn't deal with his level of controlling stupid myself.

SkipToTheLight · 22/04/2025 23:28

What a twat! He can f*ck right off.

HeddaGarbled · 22/04/2025 23:32

Men always want you to keep your hair the way it was when they met you.

Women ignore them and change our hairstyles when we want to.

HoppingPavlova · 22/04/2025 23:32

Should he have a say in how I have my hair?

Only if it’s sitting on his head. Which it is not.

My DH knows there are two responses to me getting me hair done, ‘that looks nice’, or nothing. If nothing, I assume he doesn’t like it, but as it’s in my head and not his, I don’t care.

My DH has had the odd haircut where I’ve thought ‘hmmm, nope, yuk’, but I have never voiced that.

clawmachine · 22/04/2025 23:40

He sounds really immature. It's not like you can undo a haircut so what did he expect to achieve by throwing a tantrum, other than making you feel bad?

Is he like this about other things in the relationship?

Leafy3 · 22/04/2025 23:52

Because you now have shoulder length hair?
He needs to grow up.

Also, if you were to split up, tenner says he ends up with someone with shorter hair

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 23/04/2025 00:01

I've been with my DH for over 30 years. In that time my hair has been just about every possible length and colour. Not once has he ever had a tantrum about it. Whenever I've said I'm going for something a bit different he just says "It's your hair - you don't need my permission to change it."

PomanderDelight · 23/04/2025 00:13

In my experience, this type of man always finds something to nitpick. Horrible, critical, and infantile.

Tassys · 23/04/2025 01:02

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk would be good for you.

He sounds nasty.
Your hair is nothing to do with him.

Tbrh · 23/04/2025 01:43

Obviously you should wear your hair the way you want, but most men do prefer longer hair, all of my boyfriends have been like this. I'm sure you have a preference too with things. But he does sound a tad dramatic if it's shoulder length

coxesorangepippin · 23/04/2025 01:48

Yeah he's too much

Ugh

NattyTurtle59 · 23/04/2025 05:41

He would soon be getting the message from me that it is nothing to do with him. The answer to your question of course is no, he shouldn't have a say in how you have your hair.

thinktwice36 · 23/04/2025 05:43

It’s not his hair so he can fuck off

Millyjanice · 23/04/2025 05:53

Your hair, your choice !

Your boyfriend’s reaction is a red flag btw.

I decent, loving boyfriend would have said nothing or said something along the lines of: “well I’m not keen on it but it’s your hair and you're lovely”

Tantrum and insults is a sign he’s a problem in other areas of the relationship too.

BabyOrca · 23/04/2025 06:00

HeddaGarbled · 22/04/2025 23:32

Men always want you to keep your hair the way it was when they met you.

Women ignore them and change our hairstyles when we want to.

Interesting! When I met mine it was dyed a very dark brown and straightened.
It's 2025 now and his ideal is still Megan Fox circa 2010.

I have moved on to my natural dark blonde (plus grey) wavy/messy hair. Once every two months or so I'll straighten it and he makes these appreciative sounds 🙄

noideabutstilltrying · 23/04/2025 07:01

my husband was upset that I ditched my very blonde hair and went black. He’s kept on about my bleaching it again. My hair has now been black for nearly 3 years and I don’t intend on changing because he’s moaning at me.

Philandbill · 23/04/2025 07:05

Is there anything good about him? Because from this description it's hard to see why you're with him. Massive red flag sadly.

StMarie4me · 23/04/2025 07:08

My hair is shaved at the back and sides. No. 4. I’m definitely not a boy.
No he doesn’t get a say.

Motnight · 23/04/2025 07:33

He's not very bright is he?

thehorsesareallidiots · 23/04/2025 07:36

StMarie4me · 23/04/2025 07:08

My hair is shaved at the back and sides. No. 4. I’m definitely not a boy.
No he doesn’t get a say.

I have a pixie undercut to No 1 on both sides. I'd no doubt give him such a conniption he'd drop dead. Just say the word OP

Chicheguevara · 23/04/2025 07:37

Do you like your hair cut? It sounds nice to me.

Your hair is your business, not your partner’s. Throwing a tantrum is just unpleasant.
If you like your hair, that is all that matters.

TammyJones · 23/04/2025 07:44

Tbrh · 23/04/2025 01:43

Obviously you should wear your hair the way you want, but most men do prefer longer hair, all of my boyfriends have been like this. I'm sure you have a preference too with things. But he does sound a tad dramatic if it's shoulder length

Agree.
my dh is the same , but did agree it looked better shoulder length ( mine had started to look ratty)