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Original poster

Partner doesn't like haircut

95 replies

iamaleo18 · 22/04/2025 23:15

Been with my partner for a very long time. I have always had hair half way down my back until last year. I saw a photo of my hair from behind and it looked so ratty so I chopped it off to my shoulders to help it grow better. Partner chucked a big tanty saying "I'm not in a relationship with a boy" and "oh I doesn't matter what I like".
My hair seems to grow unevenly so iv been getting trims (nothing ott) but it is taking a long time for it to grow longer.
Anyways what are your thoughts? Should he have a say in how I have my hair? I do kind of get it because he's the one looking at me but at the same time I'm like wtf this is my hair I'll do what I like with it. It's not like I have gone and shaved my head or got a pixie cut.
This is not the first time this issue has arose either.

OP posts:
Lorlorlorikeet · 23/04/2025 07:50

From your previous threads about this Shitstain of a man…

With my partner he doesn't like me having male friends, getting agro and stops talking to me if I want to do things with friends (especially if it involves alcohol or going out.. even for lunch or dinner).

Whinges if we only have sex once a week.

He smokes and drinks. We are in debt up to our eyeballs and never have money to do things we want to do or go on holidays. He has social anxiety and he doesn't believe in getting help.

We had things happen with our daughter with sexting and online stuff so now he is controlling with her.

Back when we first started dating he was jealous of our male friends and he also wanted to be with me all the time and would get angry if I juster wanted to hang out with the girls without him

This man is controlling and abusive. He isolates you, controls your behaviour, and now he’s doing it to your daughter, seemingly with your blessing.

Yet you say he’s the ‘love of my life’. Raise your bar. Save your daughter.

cardboardvillage · 23/04/2025 07:52

is he controlling in other areas? Does he tell you what to wear?

QueefQueen80s · 23/04/2025 08:46

I agree that he is controlling and also it creeps me out a bit, but it also means it’s controlling when women want men to shave their beards off and wear certain clothes. There can be hypocrisy on these threads

dudsville · 23/04/2025 08:52

I was going to post unto I read @lorlor's post. That's an important message.

CookingFatCat · 23/04/2025 08:52

Tell him to do a full body shave. No, insist on it because you want him too.

mindutopia · 23/04/2025 09:23

She sounds like a right piece of shit.

I’ve had to have surgery on my head for cancer and cut my hair. If Dh threw a tantrum because he didn’t like how my hair looked, he’d be out on his ass.

Everyone is entitled to have an opinion. But it’s controlling to insist you have to do anything to your body to please them that goes against what you want to do with your own body.

Lorlorlorikeet · 23/04/2025 09:56

dudsville · 23/04/2025 08:52

I was going to post unto I read @lorlor's post. That's an important message.

I remembered the name and style and lo and behold. He’s an arsehole. Really concerned that the OP is still with him after he turned his abuse on their daughter.

AgathaKrispie · 23/04/2025 14:05

I wouldn't have posted here, I'd have been straight to the nearest salon for a pixie cut.

Bonbon249 · 23/04/2025 14:11

I sincerely hope you told him to b*get off! He gets eff all say in how you have your hair. His response should be either 'That's nice' or 'Do you like it?' or nothing. First it's his opinion on your hair, what's next? His opinion on your knickers?

Pherian · 23/04/2025 14:12

iamaleo18 · 22/04/2025 23:15

Been with my partner for a very long time. I have always had hair half way down my back until last year. I saw a photo of my hair from behind and it looked so ratty so I chopped it off to my shoulders to help it grow better. Partner chucked a big tanty saying "I'm not in a relationship with a boy" and "oh I doesn't matter what I like".
My hair seems to grow unevenly so iv been getting trims (nothing ott) but it is taking a long time for it to grow longer.
Anyways what are your thoughts? Should he have a say in how I have my hair? I do kind of get it because he's the one looking at me but at the same time I'm like wtf this is my hair I'll do what I like with it. It's not like I have gone and shaved my head or got a pixie cut.
This is not the first time this issue has arose either.

Is he using this argument to launch something else he hadn’t had an opportunity to do in an otherwise stable relationship.

It’s your hair and as we get older naturally it’s starts to thin out and break. My hair is shorter now than it’s ever been and not by choice.

This doesn’t paint him in a good light.

Mummykit96 · 23/04/2025 14:15

I’m petty I’d go back and get the pixie cut 🙈

Sulu17 · 23/04/2025 14:18

I don't know how you put up with him. Think about a life where you don't have to hear such comments, OP.

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 23/04/2025 14:23

Tell him you didn't realise you were in a relationship with a controlling bitch and to grow a pair.

Fabulousagain · 23/04/2025 14:24

He would hate my sister she shaves her head every month it use to be to the bends of her legs.
When she left a piece of shit she shaved it and loved it her ex loved long hair after 20 long years she done what she always wanted to do shave the fucker off.
13 years on still shaved number 3.
I shaved my head bald 2 year ago and then chopped of my pig tails last year.
Its now at my shoulders again.
Like my sister years ago i was with a controlling pig.
Its our heads our hair we do what we want with it.

IndigoViolent · 23/04/2025 14:28

It wouldn’t be acceptable whatever the length of your hair, but since when did shoulder length hair make a woman look like a man?

Navyontop · 23/04/2025 14:28

My ex partner had shoulder length hair and was clean shaven when we met, I was VERY attracted to him. Over the few years that we were together, he stopped shaving his face and grew a very long beard. He also cut his hair really short.
I didn’t like any of it and I became much less attracted to him, BUT I never mentioned it once. It’s his body and his choice.

Your husband sounds entitled and probably a tad misogynistic. I’d look to other parts of your life, does he insist on having other things his way? Despite your preferences or comfort.
if the answer is no and he fully supports and loves you in all other ways, then forgive him and find a compromise.
If he actually does this a lot, tell me to get f^*ked.

SallyCinnamon92 · 23/04/2025 14:30

Listen he can express a preference, in a nice way “I love your hair longer” and BEFORE you get it cut but to throw a “tantrum” after the fact is insane from a grown man lol. What if you were to lose your hair, as so many women do? Sorry he’s being an arsehole - maybe time to find another 😊

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/04/2025 14:33

Lorlorlorikeet · 23/04/2025 07:50

From your previous threads about this Shitstain of a man…

With my partner he doesn't like me having male friends, getting agro and stops talking to me if I want to do things with friends (especially if it involves alcohol or going out.. even for lunch or dinner).

Whinges if we only have sex once a week.

He smokes and drinks. We are in debt up to our eyeballs and never have money to do things we want to do or go on holidays. He has social anxiety and he doesn't believe in getting help.

We had things happen with our daughter with sexting and online stuff so now he is controlling with her.

Back when we first started dating he was jealous of our male friends and he also wanted to be with me all the time and would get angry if I juster wanted to hang out with the girls without him

This man is controlling and abusive. He isolates you, controls your behaviour, and now he’s doing it to your daughter, seemingly with your blessing.

Yet you say he’s the ‘love of my life’. Raise your bar. Save your daughter.

Edited

OP he’s controlling and hair isn’t the only thing he’s controlling about. Make plans, to leave.

tinytemper66 · 23/04/2025 14:52

Has sod all to do with him. Tell him to wind his neck in and you will wear your hair as you please…

ItGhoul · 23/04/2025 15:08

Lorlorlorikeet · 23/04/2025 07:50

From your previous threads about this Shitstain of a man…

With my partner he doesn't like me having male friends, getting agro and stops talking to me if I want to do things with friends (especially if it involves alcohol or going out.. even for lunch or dinner).

Whinges if we only have sex once a week.

He smokes and drinks. We are in debt up to our eyeballs and never have money to do things we want to do or go on holidays. He has social anxiety and he doesn't believe in getting help.

We had things happen with our daughter with sexting and online stuff so now he is controlling with her.

Back when we first started dating he was jealous of our male friends and he also wanted to be with me all the time and would get angry if I juster wanted to hang out with the girls without him

This man is controlling and abusive. He isolates you, controls your behaviour, and now he’s doing it to your daughter, seemingly with your blessing.

Yet you say he’s the ‘love of my life’. Raise your bar. Save your daughter.

Edited

Fucking hell. OP, what on earth are you doing with this man? He's a massive, massive cunt.

Also, he doesn't think you look 'like a boy' because you have shoulder length hair. Your hair isn't even short. He's just saying that because he likes making you feel like shit.

BunnyLake · 23/04/2025 15:12

No he doesn’t have a right to dictate how you have your hair. He is allowed an opinion of course but that is all it is. Obviously no one wants their hair looking bad as some kind of up yours to a partner either. My ex was always going on about me having to keep my hair long. I liked it long but it annoyed me he had such blinkered views about it. I wouldn't accept such ‘rules’ now.

Ihad2Strokes · 23/04/2025 15:20

Lorlorlorikeet · 23/04/2025 07:50

From your previous threads about this Shitstain of a man…

With my partner he doesn't like me having male friends, getting agro and stops talking to me if I want to do things with friends (especially if it involves alcohol or going out.. even for lunch or dinner).

Whinges if we only have sex once a week.

He smokes and drinks. We are in debt up to our eyeballs and never have money to do things we want to do or go on holidays. He has social anxiety and he doesn't believe in getting help.

We had things happen with our daughter with sexting and online stuff so now he is controlling with her.

Back when we first started dating he was jealous of our male friends and he also wanted to be with me all the time and would get angry if I juster wanted to hang out with the girls without him

This man is controlling and abusive. He isolates you, controls your behaviour, and now he’s doing it to your daughter, seemingly with your blessing.

Yet you say he’s the ‘love of my life’. Raise your bar. Save your daughter.

Edited

Ah, these stand alone threads really don't help when you want an honest opinion on something.

He sounds like a complete arse, I seriously think you need to contemplate getting away for him for your own sake and especially for your daughters

3pancakesplz · 23/04/2025 15:23

Based on this post I’ll be honest - he’s entitled to have his preference. I would be gutted if my DH shaved his hair off simply because I’m not attracted to bald guys. I also know my husband likes my fairly long hair and that’s one reason why I wouldn’t go for a drastic change.

based on your previous posts alongside this, he sounds like a twat and you deserve better.

Bumdishcloths · 23/04/2025 15:27

iamaleo18 · 22/04/2025 23:15

Been with my partner for a very long time. I have always had hair half way down my back until last year. I saw a photo of my hair from behind and it looked so ratty so I chopped it off to my shoulders to help it grow better. Partner chucked a big tanty saying "I'm not in a relationship with a boy" and "oh I doesn't matter what I like".
My hair seems to grow unevenly so iv been getting trims (nothing ott) but it is taking a long time for it to grow longer.
Anyways what are your thoughts? Should he have a say in how I have my hair? I do kind of get it because he's the one looking at me but at the same time I'm like wtf this is my hair I'll do what I like with it. It's not like I have gone and shaved my head or got a pixie cut.
This is not the first time this issue has arose either.

“Oh it doesn’t matter what I like”

Correct. It doesn’t matter what he likes. It is your hair, and body, to do with what you want.

Tell him to get f*cked.

ClarityofVision · 23/04/2025 15:29

Fabulousagain · 23/04/2025 14:24

He would hate my sister she shaves her head every month it use to be to the bends of her legs.
When she left a piece of shit she shaved it and loved it her ex loved long hair after 20 long years she done what she always wanted to do shave the fucker off.
13 years on still shaved number 3.
I shaved my head bald 2 year ago and then chopped of my pig tails last year.
Its now at my shoulders again.
Like my sister years ago i was with a controlling pig.
Its our heads our hair we do what we want with it.

"the bends of her legs" - I am going to be using that one from now on 😍