Partner doesn't like haircut

[iamaleo18]

Been with my partner for a very long time. I have always had hair half way down my back until last year. I saw a photo of my hair from behind and it looked so ratty so I chopped it off to my shoulders to help it grow better. Partner chucked a big tanty saying "I'm not in a relationship with a boy" and "oh I doesn't matter what I like".
My hair seems to grow unevenly so iv been getting trims (nothing ott) but it is taking a long time for it to grow longer.
Anyways what are your thoughts? Should he have a say in how I have my hair? I do kind of get it because he's the one looking at me but at the same time I'm like wtf this is my hair I'll do what I like with it. It's not like I have gone and shaved my head or got a pixie cut.
This is not the first time this issue has arose either.

Would those people tell their partner they now looked like the opposite sex and throw a tantrum though, @Doone22?

So your hair belongs ti him? Huh?! Men can be so stupid....

I have and pretty much always have had, a pixie cut, I get a lot of compliments on my hair but a lot of, “what does your husband think?” Or, “I’d love to have my hair short but my husband wouldn’t let me/like it!, bollocks to that!. He’s an arse in answer to your OP

I'd rather you looked like Brad Pitt.... some of the best looking women in the world have shorter hair. In fact a lot of plain Jane's hide behind long hair. Just saying....

Gosh he sounds awful

Well, if he doesn't like that hairstyle he doesn't need to have that hairstyle but he gets exactly ZERO say on YOUR hairstyle.

But, given your posting history, I really think you're in an abusive relationship and need to LTB pronto.

So many red flags you could pitch a tent. Dump him absolutely- it’s normally one of the first steps of control and sounds really belittling and bullying.

I'm sure it will blow over when he gets used to it. I just had half my waist length hair cut off as it was all rasts tails and I've now cut the last of the blond dye out. It was ruining my hair. It will soon grow back. Ratty hair is horrible.

Shoulder length hair isn’t even short! But that’s by the by, he’s a moron.

Exactly, how is it not feminine.. as that is usually their reasoning.

He doesn’t get a say on how you have your hair, you have it how you want it. He’s allowed an opinion or preference to what he finds attractive but he certainly doesn’t need to share that with you, he shouldn’t keep that to himself

Time for a new partner as well as a haircut then.

It's totally your choice, none of his business, if he can't say anything nice,.don't say anything at all. How's this making you feel and does he try and control other things (what you wear, who you're friends with, where you go, how much you spend) - if he does, it sounds abusive. You sound quite chill about his reaction but even asking the question "can my husband have a say in my haircut" is a bit of a flag something isn't right tbh.... Hopefully he's just being a d*ck, not coercive and controlling, but keep an eye on it

What a misogynistic wanker - sorry OP but is he so insecure about his sexuality that his DP can’t get a bloody hair cut?! WTAF.

You are not a trophy or object. This can’t be the first glimpse of this attitude if you’ve been together for so long?

Do you like it? Job done.

The idea that someone else thinks they have any say in what you do to your body is absurd.

We had things happen with our daughter with sexting and online stuff so now he is controlling with her.

To be honest I'd agree that this is a situation you really ought to be aware of as parents.

As for hair, mine has been various styles and lengths, OH will usually just say that's nice or nothing if he doesn't like it. The only time he's made negative comments it's been if he thinks it doesn't suit me but in the end it's my hair. I lost my hair during chemo and he still told me I was beautiful, I wasn't I was at my worst.

C-nut

Does he bring anything positive to your life.

This would absolutely be a dealbreaker for me. I met my husband when I was in my 20s and I had a pixie cut. Since I've been with him I've worn it long. But I'm pushing 50 and I'm aware that due to hairloss etc as I get older I may look better going back to short hair one day. I've noticed (being someone who can rock a pixie cut) that some misogynists associate hair length to feminity (look at all the mid-50s Republican women with their identikit blonde blow outs over in Trumpland). A man who is unhealthily obsessed with my hair length is a big fat no for me, I just couldn't do it to myself.