Has anyone ever used MDMA to fix a marriage?

[theaccidentalcandidate]

Background
Ex ravers, married 20 years together 30 years, adult kids at University. Not taken drugs for 25 years, hardly drink. One partner still in love, the other not. Get on fine, don't argue, etc, no other people involved.

Been a while since I’ve taken it but I imagine the come down for the not in love partner will be rough. MDMA comedown is brutally rough anyway and I imagine they will feel very guilty about all of the love declaring they’ve done whilst high that’s not necessarily true.

Why don’t you try therapy op?

Eh?

Leah Betts died after taking ecstasy because she drank far too much water in a short period of time. It was a tragedy but doesn't mean MDMA is actually dangerous.

She didn't die from ecstasy. Almost nobody dies from it, the deaths associated with it are usually hyperthermia from dancing for hours in a hot room & not regulating your body temp, or hyponatremia from drinking too much water & your electrolytes get fucked up which affects your heart

But no one wants to hear that. There was a professor who got sacked about a decade ago for saying that ecstasy was safe. He wasn't wrong though.

Might be good to go out together, have fun on a bit of MDMA and remind yourselves how you used to be and why you loved each other. I don't see how it can do any harm if your marriage is in trouble. My husband and I still do this occasionally and it does our relationship so much good!

Isn’t that like saying the alcoholic died from chronic cirrhosis and not directly from alcohol so therefore alcohol is safe?

I tried it once in uni. Had very little effect on me except putting me in a very good mood and not being able to sleep for 36 hours but nothing beyond what I could experience without drugs.

My friends however. 3 of them snuggled/cuddled up in bed together and spent the night talking about deep things, their worries etc and how much they loved and appreciated each other. They are still close now 20 years later and speak very fondly about the experience.

They have a theory that as they were all having mental health issues, their upper threshold for improving feelings was much higher then mine (no mental health issues, positive person then) and so it effected them much more, the dopamine hit was greater.

I'm just raising this as it's possible it might effect one of you more then the other in case there ramifications/resentment.

I can't really see there is much of a downside to trying other then the usual risk of drug taking, bad cutting, drug trade etc.

If you mean Leah Betts, she died after taking E, not because of. It was the lack of education that caused her death (she drank 7 litres of water in two hours because she had been told she was at risk of dehydration and died of hyponatraemia).

No because alcohol causes cirrhosis, MDMA or E causes neither dehydration nor hyponatraemia. See causation and correlation.

I took MDMA a few times for partying reasons ages ago, when I was also suffering from acute PTSD and depression.

It is artificial, but for someone like myself who had lost sight of how it is ever possible to feel relaxed, carefree, not afraid of others, etc. being in that state for a few hours thanks to MDMA, it was like rediscovering happiness, it really helped.

No, because MDMA doesn't cause the damage.

For those of you who are aghast at the thought.
MDMA was regularly used in marriage counselling prior to it being made illegal.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8631777/#:~:text=MDMA%2Dassisted%20couple%20therapy%20was,and%20improved%20communication%20and%20introspection.

I suppose that’s true. I think I’d still worry about the possible impact though as presumably taking ecstasy makes the aforementioned things you can die of more likely to happen.

I don’t really have an opinion on MDMA as I don’t know enough about it but I’ve seen a lot of info locally in the last year or so about laced ecstasy and MDMA tablets, including a couple of deaths of young people, so I’d probably say marriage counselling comes with less risk.

Absolutely NO! Drugs (imo) are good as part of your 20’s and that’s it. No way I would take drugs now I have a child. Also, nothing will fix a marriage unless you both love each other and want to fix it. Then there are other ways to fix it.

That’s a good point. Going by this theory would the married person who is falling out of love and perhaps in a negative place have a false feeling of love and elation that might “lead on” the partner who is still in love? Surely that would just make them more upset and let down in the morning?

a close friend of mine was ready to break up with her long term partner and he suggested they take acid together instead and walk along the beach. She said it was an incredible experience that bought them closer together. They’re reasonably happy now.

As an ex-raver I can see how this could work! I also did not know it was originally used in couples therapy, makes complete sense. I think DH and I could benefit from doing this. Where does one procure the MDMA??

Eh?

Why not try it OP. and report back xx

Dancing in a hot club makes you more likely to be dehydrated, drugs or not (same as running a marathon, getting heatstroke etc). The hyponatraemia was caused by very ill judged advice at the time about dehydration - people thought (similarly to you) that the drugs caused dehydration, which they don’t, hence the water intoxication. With education it would have been far less likely for either of these to happen.

It was originally a prescribed drug first use in marital therapy. The ‘Loved up’ effect it gives helped couples to connect. Like all drugs, it has potential side effects. The disasters with it are caused by young people taking a handful on the basis that ‘one is good, more must be better’! The dose should be one. Of course the situation is that, unless prescribed, it is illegal. Although it’s widely available.

Some people used to say that about AIDS.

If there was a drug that could do what you want reliably it would be the most known about thing on sale and "big Pharma" would have it patented up the wazoo. Illicit drugs in general don't solve issues, they create more problems.

Sorry to hear about your DD

I know nothing about MDMA except what’s being taught here but if it could genuinely help someone who’s been through trauma like you I certainly would never judge anyone for trying it after being educated in this thread.

OP sounds like it’s something worth researching more. It’s a very interesting drug by the sounds of it with some good therapeutic evidence of success.