Would you run for the hills?

[Heregoes234]

Okay this is a weird one. I started seeing a guy last year. It moved fast and at times I told him he was being a bit intense and felt like he was love bombing me. Such as saying he loves me in two months..
He showers me with affection and after coming out of a previous relationship two years prior, which was abusive and cheating involved I think feeling like the apple of someone’s eye was nice. My friend said maybe I needed that and it’s okay for me to end it if my feelings have changed.

But as more time goes on, at the six month mark I am realising there is aspects about him and things he does that makes me feel
uncomfortable and disrespected. Here’s the thing I don t know if it’s me being silly or insecure.

I saw him liking provocative pics on social media at first and thought not nice to see, childish at most but this is where it started and I then noticed more. Such as going out for the day with him and seeing him have visual reactions to young women such as stopping mid conversation and going oh my god and watching them walk away. When it happens I’ll feel shocked and awkward as not been with a guy who acts this way.

Then here’s the one I find the worst, he journals. So everyday he writes about his day what impacted him and what he done.
He takes it everywhere with him and yesterday evening I was making him dinner and he asked for a hug, when I hugged him I saw a sentence he just wrote saying he found his flat mate to be really pretty with doe eyes and these were things he says about me and I don’t know am I being precious is he a bit of a creep? I brought it up and said I feel uncomfortable that he wrote that whilst with me and feels that way about his flat mates.

This isn’t the first time. I would never go through someone’s journal but admit at the beginning of the relationship he sent me a video flicking through his journal to me to show his handwriting, and I read a bit of it and when I did every page he wrote about women he hired at work calling them tasty, to women at the gym to his friends gfs in the same fashion.

I think it’s given me the ick. I know this all sounds childish and people will suspect I’m young but I’m actually 30. Tell me to get a grip I don’t know what to make of it. I expressed in a relationship early on I don’t like it when guys lust over women in front of me and know it’s natural but prefer my partner to be more discreet. After breakdown of my last relationship I had to work on my self esteem and I feel this won’t help me.

He thinks I’m being silly and these are very minor things.

Sorry OP he’s an insane little creep.
he sits alone every night and writes about women’s bodies?!

a journal is usually used to record what’s the most important thing to someone, think about it - letching on women is his top priority.

he’s an infant with no self control.

I’d bet my last fiver that he has some kind of sex or porn addiction too. There’s no way he’s openly flaunting the creepy book with you unless it goes deeper.

run…..

I honestly thought this thread would be hit by the cool wife squad and be told to grow up over finding those things upsetting. Reassuring to know I’ve done the right thing here.

Sometimes it's worth reminding yourself that relationships aren't one size fits all. You don't have to bend over, trying to fit your own likes/dislikes and boundaries into something that fits another person's standards. It's absolutely enough to decide gawping at other women, journaling about his flatmates looks and dismissing your feelings means that he's not the guy for you.

You were right to throw this one back into the swamp from whence he came.

I’d run for the hills.
Please find someone who is trustworthy.

I’m not someone who journals but surely they are meant for introspection and deep thoughts not which women you found attractive throughout the day? He gives me the ick just from your description. I would rather a guy was an obvious misogynist than someone who pretends to be deep and then treats women like objects in his ‘diary’. Very strange. Definitely better off without.

Honestly you shouldn’t be dating until you’ve completed the Freedom Programme, stepped back and really assessed what you’ve learned from it and taken a break until you’ve really understood the red flags you’ve missed otherwise you’ll stumble from one abusive relationship to the next.