Married 25 Years no sex.

[MrGG]

Help. Male age 55 here. So I been married 25 years (Anniversary just recently). We both work & have 2 beautiful daughters both doing amazing and living away , ages 20/22. We don’t have any intimate life anymore, about 2 years agowe was very active sexually and then one day, whoosh it just stopped, she isn’t having an affair or anything life that, fyi she is 50 and fit, attractive and I call her the nicest person I ever met, she is kind, note: we never argue. Now by accident and without planning I have met someone through work (that is probably ever only going to be a friend), she is intelligent, engaging and we have totally clicked, she is in her 30s and we dont see each other for 2 months at a time due to what jobs we do, but stupid me, I am developing feelings for her of the intimate kind in my head, I literally dreamed of her again last night, is that because my life is so stale ? I don’t want to lose my family, be a cheat etc etc but I can see that my life is far from perfect & I am still active, fit and healthy and have a lot to give in many ways, I am conscious life creeps up quickly and I don’t want to be living my last decades stale, as I am sure my wife doesn’t too. I am at a loss. Any advice welcome. More info / I live in London and go out most weekends and meet all sorts of people, never do I get feelings of this kind for someone else, this woman is special, she is disabled albeit an unnoticeable but very serious condition, I imagine me helping her lead a fulfilling life that she deserves (at any cost to me). Thanks to you for reading this messed up message 😬 Pleas be kind but helpful. Respect.

Is this really true though for most women?
Genuine question.

Men’s testosterone levels diminish too.

And I came off the pill at fifty and got my libido back.

Plus I think we underestimate how many women over the age of fifty are fed up of having very bad sex.

Without wishing to he crude, so many men still take the jack hammer approach and are very much focused on piv sex without giving much thought to female pleasure.

I don't think you have it in you to be a carer. Just 2 years without sex with your wife and you're already contemplating ending 25 years of marriage without even having discussed the lack of sex for a woman you see every couple of months, so I don't think you're as selfless and giving as you think and as you get older your health may not be in a position to care for her, you may need your own carer.

You overestimate men's virility and underestimate women's libido with age. Older women don't lose interest in sex, they lose interest in putting up with bad sex. Viagra wouldn't be so popular if most men didn't need it.