Husbands pitbull becoming snappy in old age, and I’m pregnant

[Oliveover28]

It took me two years to convince my now husband to keep his pitbull dog with his mum for me to move into his house with my two small dogs. The reason for me not wanting my two dogs around his dog is his dog previously attacked and killed his mums small dog. Apparently he done this because the smaller dog kept snapping at him and the family seem to think it’s justified? Bear in mind this was a teacup senior dog. Awful.

anyway the agreement was the pitbull can come back once we buy a bigger house as I pushed for the can’t separate 3 dogs in a small house excuse. Anyway we are looking to buy a house this year, and husband is saying why wouldn’t his dog come back to live in the house he buys. Well, lately the dog has been snapping at people a little more, husband says oh it’s old age.

problem is, I’m now pregnant. I feel extremely uncomfortable around this dog, this dog around my dogs and now this dog around a defenseless baby? He says we will keep them separate, but that sounds like hell having a new born, and 3 dogs to keep separate whilst he’s at work all day. He said sometimes he will take him to work, and I could probably push for only having the dog at home on the weekends. But still, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to relax in my own home and I want to be in the best mindset possible to raise my first child. I want to feel relaxed at an already stressful time.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to say to my husband as to why I don’t want his dog coming back. He is saying oh he only snaps at people he doesn’t know, not his own family. I will also add the dog only snaps at weak people (a senior with cancer, and a friend with MS) it’s like they can sense weakness. He fully believes this dog is going to see our baby as his family, but this dog is already ten years old.

I’m currently sitting with my two boys, ages 5 and 1. Hell would freeze over before they lived with a dangerous dog and walking away from their dad if he asked that of them would be a no brainer.

but he loves his kids, so he never would put us in that situation.

respectfully,, your about to be a mum. Protect your baby.

Pitbulls are illegal. Get it destroyed.

You move out. Simple as that.

Well maybe you should.

Get rid of husband.

Seems to me posters on this board care more about your unborn baby than you do. Get to the UK asap or you and the baby will be stuck there with him and the pit bull. Which killed his own mothers tiny dog and he kept it.

He is planning on having all 3 dogs in the house.

3 dogs = a pack of dogs, lead by a pit bull.

If you stay I would judge you as a neglectful mother, if I knew you I would report you. End of.

Trust your gut, you can't live with dog, baby or not. Why risk it?

As an aside, sleeping all day is not normal. It needs to be seen by a vet. It sounds ill, not old.

"3 dogs = a pack of dogs, lead by a pit bull."

Pitbulls are fighting dogs. The pitbull will kill the other two dogs and enjoy itself doing it. That's what they're bred for.

Ok so I have just seen you are currently in the US.

There is a reason why pitbulls are banned in the UK and many other places.

Have a google of the injuries they inflict on ppl-and the number of deaths and think again.

This is so irresponsible that I almost can't believe it's real.

You are going to allow a snappy dog who has already killed around your small dogs and newborn baby??
I despair.

What do say to him? You tell him the truth. Write it down clearly and hand it to him if you have problems asserting yourself. He deserves to know where you stand on this.

’DH, the only course of acceptable action for me is that you now arrange to have your killer pit bull put to sleep. He is far too dangerous to be around.
You need to know that I will never risk our child being around your dog and that is non-negotiable.
I don’t accept your argument that your dog will be ok with me, my two dogs and our new baby simply because we are family.
I was wrong to suggest that the smaller house was the problem as I have realised it’s nothing to do with the size of the house.
Your dog is a killer as you already know and it is inexcusable that was never reported.
I can not possibly condone your irresponsible behaviour around your dangerous dog and will make plans to leave if you do not see sense and have your dog euthanised as soon as possible because of his increasingly worrying behaviour which will not suddenly get better.
Please understand that I will not be moving into your new house with your current plans to include your dog.
I am prepared to do whatever is necessary to protect our child’

OP, Make your plans to leave him now, and be prepared to never contact him again if you want to ensure the safety of your child. This is a terrible accident waiting to happen if you aren’t prepared to follow through. Your husband is in denial and isn’t a responsible partner, father or dog owner. It’s quite clear he will choose the dog and has his family behind his decision. If I were you, I would get right away from him as soon as possible and start afresh as a single mum.

If that’s what it takes to keep baby safe … ALL dogs get re homed.

You both sound really immature - why did you think marriage was a good idea?

Spot on!

You know this is not ok and you should just tell him if the dog moves in, you’ll move out. End of discussion.
you can’t get advice here, but if you don’t act on it you are risking the death of your baby.

I can’t believe you have to ask. The dog should have been pts. If your DH doesn’t understand the huge risk to your baby’s safety, I’d get rid of him too.

Tbh I would consider an abortion and travel home. Consider if you want to parent with this mand the next 18 years - abroad.

Nope. I'd refuse point blank to move if thats the deal. Stay in your smaller safe home. Please don't take chances.
He'll probably leave a door open to spite you/prove you wrong if he's so convinced his dogs safe.

Your H needs to decide between the baby and his dog.

And bluntly, so do you. Do not move into a house with that dog.

This is a breaking up event. If he wants to prioritize a volatile dog over his newborn, he is not Father or partner material.

This man is not a good husband and so far is not a good dad. Be very very wary of this house move. Make sure you protect yourself financially. My heckles are up and I think you need to plan for your independence now. If you don’t need it then no harm done. I hope I’m wrong. But at 53 and having worked with families for 30 of those years I am getting a strong urge to tell you to protect yourself financially as well as absolutely no way to that dog near a baby.

A risk assessment should consider how likely the risk and what the outcome might be.

The dog has killed another dog and is snapping at humans. That makes the risk higher than, say a dopey Labrador.

If something did happen it could be anything from creating a phobia of dogs to Ing your child.

It’s an absolute no from where I’m standing.

It's your baby, or his baby. Whatcha gonna choose?

I was going to suggest something similar, like poisoning the dog, but that won't solve your husband problem. He will probably get another one.

You need to leave him now, and you need to go home BEFORE the baby is born.

If you wait, you will not be able to leave unless you leave your baby behind.

If you leave him and stay in the same country, you will obviously have to allow him to see the child, and you WILL NOT be able to protect the child from the dog because you will not be there.

If you stay with him, you WILL NOT be able to protect the child, because his whole family are a dumb as a bag of rocks and will not keep them seperate.

He's a fucking idiot, and he and the dog are both dangerous.

You have no choice, you have only one viable option. Right now you're the only one thinking about protecting your baby, and you need to act now, or you're as negligent as he is.

What do you mean 'he's buying the house'? You're husband and wife so YOU'RE buying the house. It doesn't matter where the money is coming from, it will be your house as much as his. Please don't let that dog step foot in it.

Absolutely this.

Although I wouldn't have said hello to a man with a dangerous dog in the first place.

Now to have a baby with him🙄

I mean obviously you don't have the dog around your newborn do you even need to ask.. if the dog is happy at his mums it should stay there. Explain to him how stressed the dog will be knowing your dogs are in the house etc. But at the end of the day. NO. It would be ridiculous to even consider having the dog around your newborn.