What does it mean when a guy tells a woman he had a spicy dream about her?

[Aaliyah9]

When I asked him what the dream was about, he said it was spicy and laughed

Backstory: I dated this guy last summer, then it turned into friends with benefits. (we have had sex) We were not getting along at all.
And he ended things with me in January and said he did not want to be intimate anymore because of how I had treated him. But he would not dismiss the possibility of us being together in the future. Yet he needed to find his own way in life. And he did not want me to wait around for him.

But he and I have still been talking a little.

And when I messaged him last week, saying this.
I think we met at a time when neither of us was truly ready for a long-term commitment, and we needed time apart to grow. I just feel like the timing wasn’t right for us. That’s why I won’t rule out being with you someday, regardless of who I meet. I don’t want you to think I’ll ever forget about you. (he loved reacted this message).

And then he replied with this

You actually appeared in my dream last night. Hope you’re having a good week so far.
I asked him what the dream was about, and he said it was spicy.

I replied, telling him I was flattered that I had made it into his dreams, and he loved that message.

You keep asking us...what do you think the reason is op?

From the context it sounds like lunch is to discuss the parameters of your latest proposed shagging arrangements.

But this is not the point - why are you obsessing about this guy? You've been there, done that and it didn't work out. Why are you so intense about this rather nothing sounding tryst?

BTW OP you have changed your username so your posts are no longer highlighted as the OP's posts.

Not seen you for a while OP. Still obsessive then?

Why are you wasting headspace trying to psychoanalyse the every move of a bloke you don’t get on with who has told you he no longer wants sex with you even when you’ve laid it in a plate for him?

Get some self respect ffs and stop chasing men who don’t give a shit about you

So you've never heard of people getting back together?

But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???

Deja vu

He no longer wants sex with me, yet he's telling me about how he had a sex dream about me? Oh ok I don't know why he asked me out then if he doesn't give a shit about me.

Ok, having read your posts again, here is what I think is happening. It will sound harsh but its my guess about what I is going on based on your posts.

You are really keen on him . He is not so keen on you.

You dated each other. You were a complete pain in the ass to him so he dumped you. He tried to soften the blow in the way he told you, but you were still dumped.
You moved to FWB, but you were such a pain in the ass that he could not even bear to continue that with you.
You kept in touch with him and have now sent him an intense message which made it clear you were still hung up on him
The weather has got warmer and he is feeling horny.
He is considering picking you up again as a casual shag as you are an immediately available option, but you were such a pain in the ass before he is not sure about whether he can bear to go through all that again for the sake of sex. He's caught between his desire for sex and how awful you were to him before. So he has suggested lunch to try to work out if he can set some boundaries which will reign you in and make you bearable to have as FWB.

Anytime anyone tries to give you an explanation you disregard it...this indicates that you have your own explanation...what is it?

🙄

Why have you changed your username?

He wants sex. You are setting yourself up to be used. Please don’t message him again it’s coming across as desperate. Sorry.

Its become clear that OP wants to posters to say he really likes her and wants to get back with her.

She's disregarding every other explanation.

You're studying psychology? But you don't know why a bloke would text a woman to tell her he's had a filthy dream about her?!

He did like me a lot, though, and when we were dating, we spent a lot of time together. He spent a lot of money on me, and he treated me kindly and with respect. I admit that I treated him badly when we were dating. Which is something that I wholeheartedly regret. I was scared, and I didn't trust him because of the things I've been through with other men in the past. I've been hurt many times. But he didn't trust me either because he was so afraid of me going to the bar solo. That he thought I'd get hit on by men. He even told me he was insecure and had trust issues. When I told him many times that wasn't the case, that I only wanted him.

After the breakup, I even sent him a letter in the mail apologizing for it. But yeah, he could be meeting up with me to talk about the fwb thing.

Ok, I think you need some time and therapy to work on yourself and your issues before you even think about dating anyone else.

But he didn't trust me either because he was so afraid of me going to the bar solo. That he thought I'd get hit on by men. He even told me he was insecure and had trust issues
He is also a fucked up guy who you should not be with. Never, ever date a guy like this.

You sound like you two are an absolutely disastrous combination.

Work on yourself so that you do not get hung up on guys who can't bear you to go out without them due to 'jealousy'. Any woman who is secure in herself and knows what a healthy relationship looks like, dumps men like this.

Another guy told me I should understand why he wouldn't want me to go to the bar solo, like this is a guy thing, is this not a guy thing then? I am currently going to therapy.

This is an abusive controlling guy thing.

Only women whose life experiences have eroded their boundaries and understanding of what is normal, acceptable behaviour date them.

I’ve never dated a guy who would even consider doing this.

I'm sorry you disagree with my calling it a few dates. Allow me to retract:

you had 15 dates and sex and you fought all the time. In further updates, it turns out you behaved badly and he's controlling & possessive.

If you don't actually get along or are in fact toxic together, why are you wasting your time messaging him and second guessing what emojis and simple sentences mean?

Just let it go.

Sex dreams mean absolutely nothing. I’ve had sex dreams about people I’m not even remotely attracted to. Why are you attaching so much meaning to it?

We went to lunch yesterday he didn't mention anything about sex. He did glance down at my breasts a few times. But probably because my bra was showing as the dress I wore was too big (I've been losing weight). After lunch, he told me it was nice to see me and hugged me. I hugged him back but didn't say anything. He then texted me late,r saying it was nice seeing me today. I did reply that time via text. I'm surprised he didn't mention anything sexual. He told me via text (before we met) that he was ok with casual as long as it was just casual. During lunch, he asked me how I've been doing etc. I mentioned that I needed to find an outdoor sport to do during the summer. He also mentioned pickleball (which is a sport that he enjoys and likes to play). He knows I have never played it before, so I'm not sure why he mentioned it. Anyway, it was just odd I was expecting him to say something sexual.

You're studying at 6th form, aren't you? Can't believe this is all coming from an adult.

What does it mean? Very simple: he’d like to have the option of having sex with you occasionally but still isn’t interested in anything more.

We went to lunch yesterday he didn't mention anything about sex. He did glance down at my breasts a few times. But probably because my bra was showing as the dress I wore was too big (I've been losing weight). After lunch, he told me it was nice to see me and hugged me. I hugged him back but didn't say anything. He then texted me late,r saying it was nice seeing me today. I did reply that time via text. I'm surprised he didn't mention anything sexual. He told me via text (before we met) that he was ok with casual as long as it was just casual. During lunch, he asked me how I've been doing etc. I mentioned that I needed to find an outdoor sport to do during the summer. He also mentioned pickleball (which is a sport that he enjoys and likes to play). He knows I have never played it before, so I'm not sure why he mentioned it. Anyway, it was just odd I was expecting him to say something sexual.