Found device recorder

[FredaMay12]

On Saturday night my partner went out. They knew I was planning on calling a friend for a catch up. I went to put my phone on charge and found a old mobile phone on record under the sofa recording. Why would my partner do this?? I haven't confronted them as unsure what to say and I am in disbelief they have done it. I feel like I'm being controlled. Is that valid?

Nope - women definitely do this too. In fact, there was a post this week (since deleted) from a woman asking how to spy on her husband.

No one in their right mind would advise that.

Yeah I do.

If somebody wants to play stupid games they can win stupid prizes.

Half of the people on here are so pitifully miserable and self serious, it is no wonder they are chronically unhappy.

If I found my partner was recording me you can bet he would get something explosive that he would be forced to sit on.

If she is scared of him for other reasons then I assume she would have left before now or mentioned it in her op. She has done no such think but of course we're jumping ti the conclusion that instead of just being a nosy prick this man is psycho, despite half of Mumsnet recommending throwing trackers in the back of the car of any potentially cheating dh.

She might not even be a real poster which is true for half the threads on here.

Ummm - whatever this relationship is with her male friend, her husband/partner should not be recording her. It’s abusive, whatever excuse he has.

There’s no excuse and it’s shameful that you’re trying to imply that he’s the victim here.

I’m dying to know how you wound them all up.

also, what’s a key logger?

It was some kind of spyware installed on my phone. One night I caught ex on my phone when I was asleep and assumed he was snooping. We had an argument but I was never given the reason for him snooping.

My phone started acting strange after this and became very glitchy. I took it to a repair shop where they found the spyware.

I told them to leave it and kept my mouth closed. Started visiting all sorts of crazy websites and sending bizarre messages to 'friends'

My suspensions were confirmed when a family member asked me about a website that I had been on. I Played dumb.

They had all sorts of of wild "stories" against me and tried to use these by tarnishing my character to others. They would dictate every aspect of our relationship. Eventually I wizened up and found the courage to run for the hills and never looked back.

Looking back on that relationship with my current mindset makes me shudder with all that I put up with. I was so young and dumb and pretty vulnerable at the time so I put up with so much shit from them. I'd laugh in their toxic faces now.

Let's hope ex has finally managed to grow up, cut the umbilical cord and has been able to stop suckling his mummies tits. Poor guy was never able or allowed to make any decisions for himself. Fuck that.

I'd put the recorder on the front step along with a couple of bin bags of his belongings.

I didn’t imply that he’s a victim. I asked her factually how Important the friendship with this man is.

this is strange behaviour and also an invasion of privacy. he wants to listen to your convo with your friend for some reason possibly to hear if you are talking about him or to see if the friend is a male to catch you out. i would absolutely confront him on this and tell him this isn’t ok. i agree with the other users. If he can record your convos what else is he doing

No, it's a very important 'they'. The op doesn't want us to know if this is a man or a woman.

This is abuse. Not borderline just plain abusive.
Yes it's valid to feel you are being controlled!
Him getting insecure about you having a male friend is not some sort of justification. This is not healthy. You are allowed friends of any gender. In a normal relationship This would be completely fine (unless there were shady circumstances obviously) I've got loads of dad friends i know through my kids.
My DH has loads of female friends that he works with and other mums. This is normal.
Recording people secretly is not normal. It's abuse and ideally you should find a way to leave him. Once someone has reached this level of paranoia and attempts to control you there's very little you can do to convince them otherwise. The trust is gone. It's not your fault and it's not your responsibility to get it back. He's unhinged and abusive.

And the same applies to any gender.
Secretly recording people (apart from in very rare exceptional circumstances) is abusive. Even if you believe they are cheating.

Something that was around before “proper” spy apps. You can still get them I think - they record everything you type.

The more recent spy apps you can see more than just what they type.

That’s irrelevant really - whatever the poster may or may not up to - doesn’t give the right for their DP to spy on them.