Found device recorder

[FredaMay12]

On Saturday night my partner went out. They knew I was planning on calling a friend for a catch up. I went to put my phone on charge and found a old mobile phone on record under the sofa recording. Why would my partner do this?? I haven't confronted them as unsure what to say and I am in disbelief they have done it. I feel like I'm being controlled. Is that valid?

Who casually looks under the sofa before making a call to their bestie?

Last time I looked under mine there was an inch of dust and 15 cat toys.

I would use it to weight down a "your dumped" note on the table.

This. I can’t believe posters are advising ‘having a serious talk with him’. There is nothing he can say that makes this ok. It’s seriously disturbing behaviour.

My friends controlling ex recorded her when he was out and then would use what he learnt against her

OP’s partner has just been outed as abusive and controlling and you think it’s an opportunity for lols ?

OP how long have you been together ? What’s your relationship like ? Have you ever cheated, or has he had reason to think you have ? Not that that’s an excuse for such an invasion of privacy but it’s a starting point for the conversation you need to have. I wouldn’t be hiding the phone. I would be leaving it in plain sight and then asking him flat out what he thinks he’s doing. Personally there would be no coming back from this for me. It’s a deal breaker because he doesn’t trust you, and without trust you have nothing.

She didn’t casually look under the sofa. She went to put her phone on charge, so clearly the socket was close to the sofa, which is why she found the recording phone.

Edited to say, OP l would look around and see if there’s anything else, and if you have a car check for trackers and other devices. Does he have access to your phone or computer ? Check those too for spyware. This is controlling behaviour, and it’s abuse. And it will get worse.

Although it might be tempting to have fun with the situation controlling men can be dangerous. They’re jealous, impetuous and can be very violent so it’s not a good idea.
Take it seriously, OP, this is not a sign of a good man.

Clearly this is not good. You need to talk to him. Is he controlling generally?

Do you both own the house, or do you rent? How easy would it be to split up from this specimen?
You know it's time to break up as you could never trust him again

I agree, multiple reasons to do this.

1. Perv
2. Abusive (using what you say/do against you)
3. If you've been abusing him (arguments, etc), this is divorce ammunition... "this is what I have to deal with"
4. To catch a cheater

As others have said, I'd look through previous recordings to see which ones he's kept. This might give you an indication of his real intent, I.e., sex sounds of you as a couple in the bedroom, vs. calls between you and friends.

Can’t assume this is a man.

it is shocking and dreadful though. I hope you don’t stay with this person.

This is the biggest violation of trust. There's no coming back from this. Leave!

This is completely unacceptable and downright creepy. I’d have to leave. Please tell me you’re leaving them, op?

Whilst the OP doesn’t say she casually looked under the sofa, nor does it say she didn’t. In the same was as it didn’t say the plug socket was near the sofa. Also the OP has done one post and gone, so…….

The hills are that way >>>>>

Please seek advice. Technology facilitated abuse is extremely prevalent and you need to be able to secure all of your devices too.
https://refugetechsafety.org/

This ^

Ridiculous idea. You want OP to potentially put herself at risk by saying derogatory things about a partner who is already controlling enough to secretly record her?

And you can’t think why goading someone like that could be dangerous?

This happened on Saturday and you haven't done anything yet? Kick the creep out asap. Check your bathroom for recording devices too.

"They" sounds like a woman.
Same response.
Scum.
Get out.

My ex did this to me. He also had a key logger.

His fucked up family were all part of it.

I'm NOT suggesting you do this. But I had some fun with it while I plotted my exit from the relationship. He wasn't a threat to me physically so I had no worries when doing this. It was wonderful messing with them all and stirring up shit, while pretending I didn't know.

I'm a petty cunt though and they deserved all of it. Reap what you sow 👀

This is awful OP and there is no coming back from this.

You don't need to discuss it, what you need to do is dump them.

I would also check your own phone and computer for any dodgy software and also the house for hidden cameras.

Involve the police if you have concern for your safety and/or the fact that they may have shared video recording with others.

Agree.

Lighten up. I wasn’t serious 🙄

Hard agree. And what is he up to if he trusts you this little...?