Mobile phone concerns in new relationship

[Saoirse1969]

I started seeing someone new around a month ago and it has moved fairly fast. I won't waffle on too much at this point with background, but essentially there is an age difference of around 15 years between us, he is older than me. I am in my fifties, he is in his sixties.

Cutting to the chase here, all going well in general, mutual attraction, having a good laugh, a really good laugh actually, he seems very intelligent, which is always very attractive to me if I can have deep conversations with someone. Good chemistry in general. Some issues, but nothing I couldn't see getting resolved and/or worked around. I've stayed at his place 4 or 5 nights now, something around that, not in a row.... but I've noticed a distinct pattern. His alarm on his phone goes off for work, fairly early, he knocks it off and then picks up his phone to go to the bathroom. But he leaves it on the banister outside the bathroom. He's in there for all of 5 minutes if that, brushes his teeth as he showers the night before. Then comes out and picks up his phone and comes back in to get dressed.

I'll wait for the opinions on here before I add more as I have asked him about it as I find it very odd that he obviously feels the need to move it out of my way for all of 3 to 5 minutes. His response was very odd... off actually... but I'll wait before I post it.

What do you all think?

That might just be a habit he's in or he might simply not trust you. It's up to you whether you can deal with that unease in a relationship.

Tbh a month is early enough that I would probably take my phone with me and not leave it in the same room as a man I was dating. I don't want anyone snooping and I don't know them well enough to trust that they won't snoop.

I do that even when I'm by myself.
I do it with dh as well even though he can please himself if he wants to use or go through my phone if he wants.
No particular reason for me doing except habit I suppose.

I do that. My phone just goes with me - but I don't necessarily want it in the bathroom with me and it fits on the banister pleasingly.

He may sometimes get calls or messages early in the morning, and doesn't like to take his phone into the bathroom in case he drops it in the sink/toilet, which has happened before. So he leaves it just outside the bathroom so he can answer it quickly if need be.

He may have had a previous relationship with someone who snooped on his phone all the time.

There might be highly confidential work data on there you aren't supposed to see and he can't take the risk.

Perhaps he doesn't want you answering it if it rings.

Could be anything really.

Habit?

I do this to remind me not to forget it when I leave so it could be as simple as that.

The reason for doing I would presume is because it's early and he doesn't want the phone to disturb you if it pings or rings? I can't otherwise think why he'd need to take it but leave it outside. It's early days so I wouldn't expect to know the code to someone's phone to have a snoop

I do that because I once dropped my phone down the loo! Nothing sinister about it at all. (iPhones don't do well after a soaking!)

I tend to take mine around everywhere with me, it's a very bad habit because I'm addicted to it (trying to deal with this!) but it's not because I'm hiding something. Don't think you need to jump to conclusions. Moving too fast is often a red flag in itself though.

I’d find that odd. I just leave the phone in the room with the guy I’m seeing. It has a passcode on it she he can’t look and I trust him not to and if he looked there’s nothing anyway.

It’s only been a month and he doesn’t want you seeing his notifications from the dating apps he’s active on.

Yep - I worry about mine getting wet.

And I'm also conscious of how filthy phones apparently get💩

You don’t have a passcode?

This.

Are you exclusive? You've been dating for such a short time that I imagine he doesn't know you well enough to know if you're nosy or stalkerish

I think its odd that YOU even consider what he's doing with his phone

I expect he's dating other women as you're not exclusive?

I do this so I don’t have to go back into the room just to get the phone and wake my other half up a second time. If he were worried about snooping he’d take it in the bathroom.

I think he just has a routine on picking it up when he wakes and taking it with him to the bathroom. That way always know where you left it, better than constantly looking for your phone because you left it "somewhere". If he was hiding something he'd take it in with him.

He's trying not to forget to take his phone with him to work and doesn't want to drop it down the toilet either! Honestly the paranoia on this board is always next-level.

Maybe he hasn't told anyone about your relationship and doesn't want you to answer his phone if it rings?

It's not surprising with some of the incredible stories you read on here though. It's enough to make any anyone paranoid as there's sadly so much of it around.

Who rings people first thing in the morning before work?

I would do that even if alone - I want to hear it ringing if I am in the shower.