Mobile phone concerns in new relationship

[Saoirse1969]

I started seeing someone new around a month ago and it has moved fairly fast. I won't waffle on too much at this point with background, but essentially there is an age difference of around 15 years between us, he is older than me. I am in my fifties, he is in his sixties.

Cutting to the chase here, all going well in general, mutual attraction, having a good laugh, a really good laugh actually, he seems very intelligent, which is always very attractive to me if I can have deep conversations with someone. Good chemistry in general. Some issues, but nothing I couldn't see getting resolved and/or worked around. I've stayed at his place 4 or 5 nights now, something around that, not in a row.... but I've noticed a distinct pattern. His alarm on his phone goes off for work, fairly early, he knocks it off and then picks up his phone to go to the bathroom. But he leaves it on the banister outside the bathroom. He's in there for all of 5 minutes if that, brushes his teeth as he showers the night before. Then comes out and picks up his phone and comes back in to get dressed.

I'll wait for the opinions on here before I add more as I have asked him about it as I find it very odd that he obviously feels the need to move it out of my way for all of 3 to 5 minutes. His response was very odd... off actually... but I'll wait before I post it.

What do you all think?

Exactly. It's 5 in the morning....

I do similar, I don't get the issue.

You've only been together 4 weeks and you're concerned that he doesn't fully trust you with his phone? To be honest, I wouldn't fully trust you after a mere 4 weeks and I'd be amazed if anyone else did. What's more interesting is that you feel entitled to be offended after such a short time. What did he say when you said you wanted him to leave his phone with you? (I'd have asked you if you had a problem with me taking my phone with me which then puts you on the back foot with having to explain why it bothers you so much, while simultaneously trying not to look as though you were looking for an opportunity to go down my phone.)

I do exactly the same. I go in then bathroom, phone goes on the bannisters. Only me, my daughter and my dog in the house.

I take my phone everywhere, nothing to hide, just like to have it handy so I don't lose or forget it. More concerning is why doesn't he shower in the morning after a night of sex?!

Are you going to tell us what his response was when you raised the subject then?

I don’t think it’s odd.

I tend to take mine with me in case I’ve accidently pressed snooze and the alarm goes off again annoying dp.

You've only been going out a month. I wouldn't leave my phone in a room with someone Id not known that long either.

Maybe he doesn't want you disturbed with notifications going off.

I take my phone with me everywhere, 100% of the time. DH does the same. There’s nothing sinister about it.

I would assume it’s just a habit/he doesn’t want it disturbing you.

I think you have major issues OP.

It’s been a month and you’re starting a thread on why he takes his phone with him.

So come on, OP, spill - what did he say about it?

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

If he was desperately secretive as others say he would take it in with him. Be deathly shitting it at the prospect of leaving it unattended while he's on the bog or brushing teeth. In fact most blokes take phones into the bathroom by default.

So if that's all there is to worry then you're alright.

What a bizarre thread - I wouldn’t even notice tbh.

And like others, I wouldn’t be leaving my phone in my room when someone was still sleeping.

Bit concerning that a few weeks in, you’re already analysing pretty normal behaviour

He’s realised you’re insecure and are planning to snoop on him?

If he leaves it in the same place and it's not locked in the room with him he's probably just in the habit.

I do that with my phone and it's so I don't lose it but I don't bring it in incase I get it wet 😂

It’s only been a month and he doesn’t want you seeing his notifications from the dating apps he’s active on.
Yeah because that's the only logical explanation possible 🙄
Never mind doing something out of habit!

I do this every morning. I also get up at 5am. It's just a habit. I walk to the bathroom fiddling with my phone, turning off alarms, quick read of any messages landing overnight. Then I leave it on the bannister. You're reading way too much into it.

Everyone is waiting with baited breath for you to share his response though, please put us out of our misery 🤣

So what was his response when you asked him, OP?

I think you need to look at why this has become an obsession for you, OP. I don’t think I’d even notice that.

Older men tend to have habits eg propping up their watch on the bedside table or taking their phone with them. I think you're seeing problems where there are likely none.

SO OP ......What WAS the reason he gave?