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Relationships

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Married to someone with Asperger's/ASD/ND: support thread 15

1000 replies

BustyLaRoux · 22/03/2025 06:42

New thread.
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This thread is for those of us seeking to explore the dynamics of long term relationships with our ND partners. Some of us are ND ourselves, very many of us have ND children. It is a support thread, and a safe space, it does get emotional at times. Avoid sweeping generalisations if possible, try and keep it specific to you and your partner.
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It's complicated and it's emotional.
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The old thread is here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5245372-married-to-someone-with-aspergersasdnd-support-thread-14?page=39&reply=143014416

Page 39 | Married to someone with Asperger's/ASD/ND: support thread 14 | Mumsnet

_New thread._ __ _This thread is for those of us seeking to explore the dynamics of long term relationships with our ND partners. Some of us are ND ou...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5245372-married-to-someone-with-aspergersasdnd-support-thread-14?page=39&reply=143014416

OP posts:
Peppasparty · 15/05/2025 19:51

Do you think Autism and ADHD relationships are just the hardest combination? I feel me and my mum are completely non-relatable, different sides of a coin entirely.

Echobelly · 15/05/2025 20:05

We had a very difficult, but ultimately useful session with therapist today. It was for all the family, but 5 mins before, DH admitted he felt very unhappy and undermined by the last session we had. Which was supposed to be with the kids, but ended up being a sort of 'emergency' session of just us because he'd had a really bad night about the bloody French with DS after things being quite a lot better in the weeks prior. And the therapist, again, said DH needs to leave off trying to 'help' DS, because it's not helping (and I honestly agree) but he was not in a receptive mood and I don't think ever will be. Unless maybe he gets therapy himself to work on dealing with his anxiety about his own and his kids' achievements maybe. Because we're an an impasse really. He literally cannot stop 'helping', I can't make him, so he won't.

Anyway, session today was akward, oldest DC clearly wanted to leave, so we let them, DS actually gave some new insight that was upsetting for DH to hear but really helpful and was worth our time. DH told therapist how last session had made him feel which was hard but necessary - I mean, he was literally radiating 'not wanting to be there' We've put a time in for DH and I in a fortnight, we may or may not decide to take it. I suspect in this process it is not unusual to have a difficult session and for at least one party to disengage.

BustyLaRoux · 16/05/2025 07:57

Welcome @Catssitonhats (I love your username. Is it an Oi Frog reference? My favourite book to read with the DC when they were little!)

This place is perfect for venting, asking questions, finding solidarity, feeling seen and understood. My DP (autistic but not diagnosed) has been unbelievably awful to me over the years. Even then, when describing these incidents to people on here, it was rare for someone to say LTB. It isn’t helpful. If it were that easy I’d have done it already. It was complicated and there were several reasons why I felt LTB wasn’t the answer. I didn’t want to hear cries of LTB. In fact on the rare occasions someone did say it, I felt an immense amount of shame. Because I hadn’t LTB already and I knew I wasn’t going to. But I also knew I probably should. It’s so complicated isn’t it?!

I never tell anyone to LTB. Most people on here won’t. We understand it’s not that simple. And it’s not for anyone here to tell you what you “should” do. However if you do want to leave then we absolutely support you and there is tons of useful advice to be had here. Advice or just emotional support from people who completely get it.

Interesting that the behaviour in itself incites people on the outside to shout LTB! I don’t know what behaviours you’re referring to but I imagine when you’ve described them there may well be things like angry outbursts, sulking or silent treatment, complete lack of empathy, being entirely focused on his own needs and being unable to consider any other viewpoint, perceiving criticism, lashing out (due to perceived criticism), being controlling….. and none of these are acceptable. And, it’s hurtful and damaging to be on the end of that. But when you mention autism suddenly everyone is much more understanding!

We have this debate time and time again: If it’s due to autism, does that mean we should make more allowances than we otherwise would? Does it mean as it’s not their fault we should try and be supportive and endure? Is the behaviour actually due to autism, or are they just an asshole?! I’m not sure there are simple answers to these questions and each relationship is different.

Essentially if the behaviour is hurting you and you want to leave then that is absolutely fine. You shouldn’t feel bad because your DP is autistic. You shouldn’t feel guilty. There’s too much autism positivity (in my view anyway) which says it’s a disability and we need to support them and understand their needs better. I don’t think anyone should do that to their own detriment. The emotional, and sometimes physical, cost is too high. We are humans too and worthy of love and care.

For me, at least, I did make a lot of allowances once I realised his behaviour was probably down to autism (again some heated discussion around whether he was/is just actually an abusive asshole. Jury still out to some degree!). I probably made too many allowances. Studying autism helped me to understand WHY he behaves as he does. As a former psychology student I have a burning need to understand the why! It all made so much more sense when I looked at him with his autism in mind. It helped me to manage him better. I knew where he was coming from and therefore knew how to respond. His ex (they cannot stand each other) has no clue about autism and consequently just riles him and makes things worse! I keep trying to subtly say to her “there are better ways to skin a cat!! You need to try and understand why he’s taken this position before you respond”. Anyway, I digress… essentially understanding has helped me manage these situations and my reactions to the more frustrating and hurtful behaviour.

You may read about emotional detachment. A useful tool if you decide to stay. It does come
at a price but can be an effective means to protect yourself. It’s probably not the best thing for you long term. Accepting his behaviour isn’t going to change rather than trying to reason and fight it is also helpful. Perhaps you are even already doing these things….

In the end, the support from this group has been one of the major factors in helping me decide to leave (cue massive cheer from my wonderful friends on here!!!). I did it when I was ready. It was a long time coming and I had flip flopped with my decision numerous times before that. DP and I are actually still together. But we live apart. I leave him to deal with all the things which drove my mad (his inability to get things done, the hoarding and refusal to address things, the chaos he creates for everyone around him due to his poor communication, the angry outbursts, his parenting of his autistic DS whose needs he had promoted above everyone else and who is an entitled insufferable bombastic bully….). I don’t have to see any of that. When he was an asshole to me the other week at my house, I just made him leave and go home! I won’t tolerate it anymore. I am empowered and life is good. I couldn’t have done it without this group.

My set up isn’t the right thing, or even possible, for a lot of people. So I’m not suggesting you follow this path. There is no pressure on you to make a decision to leave. You can come here and just vent and cry if that’s what you need. Or just lurk and read the thread history. Perhaps it will help you feel validated. Because your feelings are important and you do matter. I think we stop remembering that when we’re with an autistic partner sometimes. But it is fine to say “I am not OK but I don’t know if I am ready to leave”.

OP posts:
Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 16/05/2025 08:12

Dh is off to his neurologist appointment today. I don't know how he will manage. He has gone through his company insurance to get a quicker appointment, but as he works for a foreign company he has to travel to that country.
He has barely been able to get out if bed for more than an hour at a time for the last 3 months, so I have no idea how he can take a plane, then a train there and back today. He " Doesn't think it will be a problem" 🤔 whereas looking at his capabilities over the last 3months, I think it will be a massive problem.
As usual he has been mostly non-verbal about today and what his expectations are so I can only wait until tonight and his version of today's meeting.
I'm trying to just enjoy the first day without him in the house for months.
Birds are singing, sun is out, having a lovely cup of tea in the garden.🐦🌞☕️😊

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 16/05/2025 08:30

I Concur with everything @BustyLaRoux just said. I have been with these absolutely wonderfully supportive bunch for a few years now. It has been my safe place, my support group, my school of learning, my venting place. I was quite ignorant about how much ADHD/Autism etc affects the whole family and this place has helped open my eyes to so much. No matter where i end up i will always be so grateful for this group💐

Pashazade · 16/05/2025 09:13

Enjoy your day Waffling. I’d be fascinated to see if your DH copes with today, probably because it’s something he wants/needs…..maybe a way of seeing how much is “real” in a way and how much is him projecting he can’t because it’s too difficult. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not trying to be rude/doubtful of his poor health but I think you know what I’m getting at.

ANiceLittleHouseByTheSeaWithACatCalledBrenda · 16/05/2025 09:15

We are so lucky to have this space 🙏🫶💕

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 16/05/2025 10:05

Pashazade · 16/05/2025 09:13

Enjoy your day Waffling. I’d be fascinated to see if your DH copes with today, probably because it’s something he wants/needs…..maybe a way of seeing how much is “real” in a way and how much is him projecting he can’t because it’s too difficult. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not trying to be rude/doubtful of his poor health but I think you know what I’m getting at.

No worries @Pashazade I know exactly what you mean.
I just called him, he's been travelling for 5 hours now and apparently 'he's surviving'. I stupidly tried to sound encouraging by saying "You've must be really happy with what you've done so far" His reply was a curt "Well I don't have any choice do I"
I'm thinking we'll yes you did have choices and for the last 3 months you chose to lay around in a ball of self pity, you chose to abdicate all your responsibilities, you chose to completely disengage and shut out your family.
I was going to do some things around the house today, but,I choose to give myself the day off. So, back out in the garden with yet another cup of tea, relishing the peace and quiet.

distinctpossibility · 16/05/2025 10:36

Hi all,

I posted on here a few months ago when my husband was going through the process of diagnosis with ASD. I had worries that he would be reflecting on his childhood and our relationship through the new lens of being misunderstood etc. I was also worried he'd form a sort of "ASD gang" with our teenage DD.

I'm really pleased to say none of this has happened. We have spoken a lot more about his childhood though, but it's been more about giving himself the grace to understand why he never learnt to ride a bike, doesn't wear pants and hasn't been to the dentist "since I was taller than my dad and they couldn't get me in" at around aged 15. He has looked at booking into a private dentist - though I have been firm that this is not my circus - and hired a bike on a recent holiday (he tried - really hard - but didn't master it). I haven't needed to get involved in the "re-parenting" of himself or anything which was what I was so, so worried about.

I've also started having some counselling through a disability scheme aimed at parent-carers and those who live with disabled people. It has massively helped. I've really struggled to accept that within 36 months I have gone from the capable mum in a "perfect" family to the often struggling mum in a neurodivergent one. It has helped me a lot.

Fwiw DH makes me very happy. He works very hard at it. I DO have worries that it's just because I'm his "special interest" but if it is, then it's even deeper than Merlin Sticker books because it's been nearly 20 years and there is a small chance that it might be because he actually loves me 🤣

Thanks ever so for the support and community I've found here, everyone though it's mostly as a lurker.

CinnamonTart · 16/05/2025 23:02

Friday night. We’re in a bar listening to live music. Both enjoying it. I lean into DH (physically) he recoils. i back off.

Later DH says shall we go, I say ok.

He asks me what the issue is. I say every time I contact you physically you recoil and it makes me feel so sad.

DH: the evening plummeted when you said you didn’t want to talk about my work any more. You never take an interest in me.

(…. he monologues about work for hours. It’s his special interest. I ask him all the questions I have until I run out. I really struggle to get him to talk about anything else.)

me; we spent over an hour talking about your work and I ask loads of questions

DH: I haven’t mentioned all the issues I have with you.

taxi home in silence. Weekend now in tatters.

Starbells53 · 17/05/2025 07:40

I lurk but I don't often post, sorry. I'm really grateful for the thread, it often makes me think, or will resonate hugely.

@Drmsta my experience is a ND aware couples therapist is essential. Ideally someone who is ND thenslves. It still needs to be a good therapist and your partner still needs to want to participate. My DH talks the talk of wanting to engage in couples therapy, but his RSD kicks in and he very quickly decides that the therapist is on my side, or we're banding together against him. We've tried a couple of times. Having a slightly more successful attempt currently - with someone who is a ND specialist and ND themselves. So able to explain where issues relate to autism/ADHD, but crucially still holding us to account. We'll see if it sticks.

I feel like I should introduce myself a bit. Been married 25 years. I'm autistic, he's AuDHD, but either severity or gender difference/socialisation means there's a big difference in how we experience life and emotions. We have teenagers who are also autistic. It's been up and down, but I've never seriously thought about leaving until the last couple of years. Unfortunately it's too difficult practically.

Starbells53 · 17/05/2025 07:42

@CinnamonTart that sounds exhausting. Will it be frosty all weekend, or will things be expected to snap back to "normal"?

Labrakadabra · 17/05/2025 10:26

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 11/05/2025 09:22

Thanks @Peppasparty. It could be CFS or some kind of breakdown like you said. He insists he is not stressed about anything though ( other than his health obviously)
When I say he is in his bed resting all day, he isn't sleeping, he's doomscrolling or watching sport.
He is leaning towards Parkinsons or MS or a brain tumor or cancer though. These concerns have all been ruled out by the various doctors he has seen though.
He has had blood/urine/stool/prostrate tests, EKG's, X-rays. He is waiting for an MRI and a neurologist appointment.
He has seen a doctor every other week for the last 3 months, chiropractors, physiotherapists, acupuncturist, massage therapists. He doesn't seem to want any advice or suggestions, just someone to complain about his 'ailments' to.
It's like Groundhog day and I don't know what else to do.😞

Sounds a bit like my mum. Convinced for decades she has CFS/ME. Doctors never agreed. She is definitely undiagnosed autistic, dyspraxic and ADHD with intense social anxiety. It’s the missed ADHD that can really spiral into total shutdowns (know this cos I have it, diagnosed age 44).

Peppasparty · 17/05/2025 10:42

It’s sounds really horrible for both sides really. We have no clue of the inner worlds of people and he is quite possibly suffering internally horribly. But they have no tools to actually be self aware to know this. But we can not will people to do anything so it must feel infuriating and where is the spot you say this is actually causing suffering in my inner world now.

Labrakadabra · 17/05/2025 10:49

I would like to share some experience with couples therapy and ND affected relationships.

I am ADHD. My DP is ADHD with a lot of autism. I’m anxious-type ADHD and DP is probably ‘ring of fire,’ for those familiar with Daniel Amen. DP isn’t diagnosed ASD but the only core trait missing is intense fixed interests. I believe he has ASD.

Anyway, we’ve done therapy with an ND-informed therapist. She ended our treatment because she decided there was a step DP needed to take before it would work: self accountability.

She said to me privately (there was no point telling DP at this time!) that a lot of ASD/ADHD men in particular have low ability to look inside themselves for causes of problems in relationships. And until that happens they will spend therapy blame-shifting to the partner and trying to get the therapist’s blessing for narratives they have crafted in their own heads to absolve themselves of the deep shame they carry about themselves but cannot bring themselves to acknowledge.

If they are highly intelligent, like my DP, they will use verbal fluency to mask their emotional immaturity.

This is exactly what happened when I tried therapy with DP, 3 times in total with this being the last. This was the second couples therapist who ‘fired’ us and wanted to work with me individually instead. Both said they were reluctant to work with DP.

Why?

He either minimised, devalued, blame-shifted or mutualised problems. The enormous red flag therapy wasn’t working was him punishing me emotionally after a session. He was moody, withdrawn and quietly furious, also snapping at every opportunity for days after. Being rejection sensitive he took every one of my ‘I’ statements as an accusation. He manipulated the ‘I’ statement talking technique to covertly shift blame and define me. I read Patricia Evans and worked out what he was doing. Shortly after we stopped therapy mark 3 we ended the relationship and I continued seeing the counsellor by myself.

DP became after some months desperate to try again. I agreed a trial period (apart from his shame-defence issues there’s a lot of good in the relationship). I went in well-armed with all my new knowledge. I told him the rule had to be that he learned to take responsibility and look inside himself before making any problem my problem or my fault. I wrote a list of things he could not say or me and things he must say instead. We saw each other once a week while he worked on it.

He is much, much better. He sees his patterns, including many I haven’t observed. He has a new psych and better meds (clonodine and guanfacine). Six months on we might be ready for couples therapy again. I might find it traumatic so I’m sticking with 1-1 counseling for now.

My main takeaway here is you can only do therapy if both people are ready and able to look at themselves. Taking a not self aware ND man who is full of shame into the therapy process may trigger him to the point he behaves like a narc. With the wrong therapist he may even be convincing. It can make life more miserable.

What I’ve been advised by my own ND therapist since is this:

You both have a 1-1 session first where the requirement is to focus honestly on yourself instead of what the other ‘is doing.’ A well informed therapist should insist on this and then decide if both parties are ready to start the process. Otherwise it may be dangerous for the non-blaming partner. If both are ‘it’s not me it’s you’ types, it becomes a slanging match.

If both are ready, you commit to discussing issues only during therapy or perhaps also for one set hour each week, with ground rules. You agree mutually what to discuss at the next session during this time.

And always check in with yourself after sessions. Take some time apart rather than discussing the session together right away. If you feel scared or sad, it’s not worth the money.

Hope that helps. I may have spent £600 working this out. Should’ve taken myself on a yoga weekend!

ANiceLittleHouseByTheSeaWithACatCalledBrenda · 17/05/2025 11:38

Thank you for sharing @Labrakadabra. This is exactly what played out last night.

I got so angry yesterday. First time. He blamed me. Zero accountability.

Back on his bike ride this morning.

We are seeing a financial advisor to sort out finances. Too early for pink kettles. I feel physically sick today.

The process has started.

SpecialMangeTout3 · 17/05/2025 12:26

@Labrakadabra these are very good points. Thank you.

Do you think alexithymia might make things much harder too? I’ve had and still have counselling myself and Theres such a huge focus on ‘feelings’

Echobelly · 17/05/2025 18:49

That's really interesting @Labrakadabra - we don't have relationship problems so much as parenting style imbalance. I mean, I think we are pretty aligned when things are going along OK, but when DH gets emotionally dysregulated it all flies out the window. He will hear me on something when he is calm - but when he loses it, it's like he never heard the thing he previously agreed with in his life.

I'm wondering how it will go with something DH said he finally understood today - that I have talked to him about before, but probably mainly when he was angry. Namely that his own ADHD and/or autism did not effect his working memory and whereas the evidence is that it is significantly impaired for DS, which is why DS has so much trouble with French. He has to remember what words mean, distinguish whether a word is one word or two that ellide into one another and sounds very similar, remember gender, and case, and verb changes and how things change in the plural. That's a lot at once.

Petra42 · 18/05/2025 08:04

@Labrakadabra such interesting points, thank you. Certainly I found my ex would never look at himself for problems in the relationship. It's was always on me. And me being a people pleaser thought it was me. It took a family member to tell me how much I had been doing to keep the relationship going yet my ex hardly compromised at all. That's why sometimes I wonder now why he wasn't kissing my feet for how great I was!! He was the love of my life but absolutely no compromise/seeing things from my perspective.

BustyLaRoux · 18/05/2025 08:18

@ANiceLittleHouseByTheSeaWithACatCalledBrenda just wanted to pop in quickly and say I hope you’re ok. I’ve not been on the thread so much lately, as things have been pretty good with me. Pink kettle was definitely the right move! I know it must all seem massive and insurmountable at the moment. I remember telling myself at the time I decided enough was enough that I would just do one thing each day which moved me in the right direction. Even if it was just look at houses on Rightmove and make a list of ones I liked. Or talk to a friend about my decision. The more little things you do, the more cemented the idea becomes and then it can move from an idea to an actual thing that’s happening. I don’t know if that’s helpful advice. It worked for me.
Sending all the love and strength I have! I hope you’re ok today xx

OP posts:
MoreTeaAndBiscuits · 18/05/2025 09:07

Blimey, that's given me something to think about @Labrakadabra- I've been lurking reading this thread since my ex-partner left earlier this year.

We had been in therapy together, but he quit therapy because he thought that it wasn't helpful because it didn't change the underlying reality more the way you react to it and he reacted strongly against that - he is very set on the facts being the important thing. Also reacted strongly against any perceived criticism! Anyway, I carried on with therapy because she was really helping me.

I suspect ex is undiagnosed ASD, one of our kids is diagnosed ASD and they have a lot of similarities. Now ex has left I can see how much I was flexing around him, the tipping point was that I asked him to accommodate me on something that was kinda traumatic and he couldn't, so he left.

While he was living here I couldn't actually see things from my point of view, I immediately swapped to his, and when he was emotional I felt it so strongly too, so I was flexing to keep him happy because it felt awful when he wasn't. Now he's moved out it feels like there is So Much Space to feel my own feelings, to see things from my perspective! I'm still struggling with wandering back over to looking at things from the point of view of keeping him regulated and happy, but the change has been quite eye opening!

ANiceLittleHouseByTheSeaWithACatCalledBrenda · 18/05/2025 10:37

Thank you @BustyLaRoux. I am doing exactly as you suggest. It’s definitely happening now. We are seeing our financial advisor to work out money. It’s another step. Perhaps the biggest one. Then I will know my options.

Peppasparty · 19/05/2025 11:26

Do you think we enter relationships thinking people are the same as us, adaptable, empathetic, understandable, often selfless. Because we think that the other person is the same, we think that when it doesn’t work we blame ourselves? We must be doing something wrong or we must try a different way because this other person isn’t getting us. When they do it will all be ok and we spend decades trying to do this.

One day you realise that the other person is the issue. They don’t have empathy and isn’t adaptable, they will never ever get you. You will only turn into someone they will get. It’s sad, I will never get a relationship with my mum where she will just get me. I only face her, not telling her things, not ever having her empathy, never being me, only something she can understand on her level, on her terms.

LoveFoolMe · 19/05/2025 12:32

I hope everyone's okay today.

Also wondering how Daftasabroom is as he set up the original threads but hasn't posted on this one. If you're reading, thanks for starting this little corner of Mumsnet and I hope all's well!

LoveFoolMe · 19/05/2025 12:35

Yes, @Peppasparty, when DH and I first got together I wrongly assumed he was adaptable and intuitively empathetic.

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