No contact with husband. Did I overreact?

[Gina8]

Had an arguement with husband. He kicked me out the house. Took the keys off me. (Not the first time). He packed most of my belongings that day and gave it to me.

He told me to delete his number and never to show my face again and never to come back. He also said he’ll drop the remainder of my belongings to my parents in few days.

I took whatever stuff he packed and went to my parents. As per his request, I deleted his number and didn’t contact him at all. Nor showed my face or went back.

The next day he sent me a message to tell he will drop the rest of my things in few days (he’d already said that to me in person). I blocked him and don’t reply. In return, he has deleted me as his WhatsApp profile isn’t visible. I’m unsure if he has blocked me as I haven’t contacted him.

it’s been over 2 weeks now. He still hasn’t dropped the reminder of my stuff. Tbh the stuff that is left, I don’t really need it. But why is he holding onto my stuff? Or did I OR by blocking him and not contacting him?

I have no intention of moving back btw as I’ve had enough of him constantly throwing me out the house whenever he feels. I did warn him last time, if he’s to do it again I’m not coming back. And he did. So I’m sticking to my guns.

Well how am I suppose to know that? I haven't got a crystal ball.

In any case, I never said equal rights, just that since they are married she has rights.

if you had read this thread, and the Ops responses, you would have known that. You would just need eyes, not a crystal ball....

Are your parents willing to collect your stuff from him?

Why are you harassing the OP? Who cares if she had another thread? I didn't see her other thread so I'm sure there are others too.

2.5 , nearly 3 years.

Thank you. I also didn’t ask the “same” thing in previous thread as it hadn’t been two weeks of NC at that point.

im asking in this thread if my reaction of NC and blocking was an OR. And hence why he still hasn’t returned the remainder of my stuff.

in past thread I was asking whether he was allowed to keep kicking me out the house as it was under his name.

The crystal ball comment was referencing what you said about there being a previous thread, which I haven't read and you clearly have. How am I supposed to know what was in it? Therefore I am coming to this thread with a pair of fresh eyes. Or am I obliged to read the previous thread by the OP before I'm allowed to comment on this one? In any case, the situation for the poor OP has moved on now, so maybe different advice might be more appropriate than what was given in the last one.

Anyhow, OP - no you didn't over-react. And I suspect he is hanging on to your stuff in order to use it as some sort of lever against you.

If there's nothing in the stuff he has of yours that you desperately need then I'd suggest just leaving it with him.

What I think you need most of all is a clean and permanent break from this horrible man that you were unfortunate enough to be married to.

Focus on a fresh start away from him. Keep him blocked and move on with your life.

He's not good for your self esteem or mental health. Someone worthwhile doesn't kick their wife out of their home ever, let alone repeatedly.

Hon, i said THIS THREAD. if you read THIS THREAD you would see that the OP said she had made a PREVIOUS THREAD.

Ltb girl and don't make any contact

He's waiting for you to crawl back x

You didn't overreact by blocking him and if that's why he's not dropped your stuff off, so be it. As PP have said, he's probably waiting for you to go grovelling back. Don't.

Get your dad to contact him & ask for your stuff. Make a clean break.

What are you on about? I’ve only posted within the last two weeks(ish). And I’ve not been back since I have posted this or previous thread.

So no, I don’t keep posting about this scenario and then going back and repeat.

She can post as many times as she likes, there's no MN limit and anyone who advised her before who is aggrieved at not being listened to should just acknowlege her situation has changed and scroll on. Complex relationship issues don't get sorted and tied up in a nice bow just because MN posters have declared it so.

He didn’t expect you to do as he said and not contact him. He expected you to have come crawling back by now. Your silence will be killing him. Good. I hope it drives him round the twist. Well done op. Keep up the good work and get to a solicitor.

I said much the same to that poster. She replied with a laughing emoji. How very predictable.

Glad you've not gone back @Gina8

He's punishing you by not returning your belongings, for not grovelling to him.

Are there any belongings you have there that you particularly want or need? If so, speak to a solicitor and potentially the police, to assist in getting your belongings back. Never go there without someone with you.

And obviously NEVER EVER go back to this man.

Doesn’t matter how you reacted. And he might like to think he owns 100% of the house but it’s a marital asset. After 2.5 years you might not get 50% but I’d say at least a third. See a solicitor asap and set the divorce in motion. And enjoy being free of him, he sounds vile.

Thank you

I don’t particularly need the remainder of the stuff.

I didn’t read your other thread so I don’t know what you did to be kicked out but regardless I think it’s best that you block each other and have no contact.

Ask a mutual friend to speak to him and arrange a time to collect your things.

I’m not sure he can legally kick you out of the marital home, desist being solely in his name. Please get correct legal advice. If you think he’ll be an arse about you retrieving your belongings (if you want them and why should he get to keep them?) then you can a police officer to accompany you.

Kbroughton - posters can start as many threads on the same topic as they like.
Your attitude is simplistic. "I've told you already, why are you asking again?".
It's not like there's a set limit on asking for advice on the big stuff. Don't be so haughty.

OP, he never expected you to do what he said. Hee hee. He's scored an own goal.

You've gone home and taken the ball with you. Mwah ha haa.

He sounds like an utter bastard. What luck that he handed you an out. Yipee.

I haven't seen your other post OP. How did he get you to go back the previous times? I'm thinking that he is holding on to your things to prove to himself that he has power over you and can make you do what he wants, when he wants. You have done the best possible thing by stopping all contact with him. It will show him that you have had enough and are no longer prepared to put up with his behaviour. He will never change and keep doing the same to you if you ever go back, so divorce seems the best option here. Good luck.

Do you have a record of his orders about not coming back to the house? Anything that will help prove domestic violence? For when he acquires his next victim?