Boyfriend trouble. My boyfriend has refused to kiss me because I have a cold a few times and he didn’t want a peck on the cheek either. I was very hurt by this. Any advice on what I should do please

[Crestofthewave89]

My boyfriend refuses to kiss me while I have a cough and a peck on cheek too. He has done this a few times. I feel very hurt by it. Any advice on what should I do please?

LTB! But seriously, do leave him, it’s for the best.

He's both right and within his rights.

Of course he doesn't want to catch whatever you're incubating.

I would say you're below 25? Likely below 20...

Gently, OP, are you not very old?

Affection can be shown in other ways than by kissing. I certainly wouldn't kiss anyone with a cold, surgery or not.

You sound total effort.

OP, kindly, you are conflating physical affection with caring for and loving someone.

I currently have a very heavy cold, so I am not sharing much physical affection with DH or DS as neither of them want to get ill. Do I feel unloved ? Not in the slightest. They have both stepped up to help with chores and care for me, bringing tea and tissues. DS9 in particular hung the washing out earlier and is currently cooking dinner (and before anyone starts, DH offered to help but DS is adamant he can do it himself). In the context of a long term, mature relationship, that is how love & affection are shown.

. “Isn’t ‘grow up’ just a phrase people use when they’re uncomfortable with creativity and change? I’m good where I am, thanks!”

. “Isn’t ‘grow up’ just a phrase people use when they’re uncomfortable with creativity and change? I’m good where I am, thanks!”

No, it’s a phrase they use when the person they are speaking to is behaving like a teenager over a non-event.
As we mature we generally can’t be arsed with drama llama behaviour.

we are allowed to express our feelings and school kids don’t know what your on about

Sorry op but: 'grow up' was my first thought too.

People who actually give a shit about their partners wouldn't want to kiss them with a cold.

I'd might sleep on the sofa for that week so as not to make my partner ill.

Your behaviour suggests YOU only care about yourself.

Did you post a few days ago about feeling upset that you'd woken your boyfriend up to look at your hair and then wanted loads of reassurance from him when he was a bit short with you about it? Apologies if that wasn't you, it's just that this thread has a very similar vibe and if you are the same poster the background gives some wider context to the isolated issue raised in this thread.

Sounds like a hypochondriac to me.

I would move on because you will become the de-facto nurse to him.

He’s probably tired of kowtowing to your demands of performative affection.

Nobody should be made to kiss, hug, touch anyone else if they don’t want to. You’re not entitled to affection, it should be freely given.

What absolute drivel.

This is such a teenage thing to say we are allowed to express our feelings.
And with most of your replies on here dose not make you sound very mature at all.

Youre getting that too? This thread, that thread, and the one about needing to be cuddled and hair stroked in shopping centres all sound so very similar.

@Crestofthewave89 , that’s a rather naive view in my opinion. If you don’t want to know what people think you probably shouldn’t ask. 😉

I'd be upset as well I want to be cuddled and looked after. I dont get looked after as I'm busy caring for kids but I do get hugs

@BunnyLake Yes, it seems very reminiscent of the posting style of the "opening eyes/reassurance/late for work" thread to me, but I didn't see the shopping centre one (unfortunately, I wish I had!). If it is the same poster, asking about each of these incidents separately under new usernames honestly won't elicit useful advice - there's a wider context that informs the overall picture and you'll get much more insightful and helpful support by talking about the general theme of your reactions to your boyfriend's requests/behaviour.

I currently have a cold and feel so miserable the last thing I want is to be kissing anyone.

I wouldn't mind being looked after though.

Mind you, I'm single so there's noone to kiss or look after me.

😮

I think they're actually in their thirties but come across much younger, if it's the same poster I’ve read threads from before. Sounds extremely similar.

@Crestofthewave89

. “Isn’t ‘grow up’ just a phrase people use when they’re uncomfortable with creativity and change? I’m good where I am, thanks!”
Um no. 'Grow up' is what people say when someone is displaying juvenile and/or behaviours and holding beliefs that are significantly underdeveloped for an adult

It. Ring looked after doesn't require snogging.

Getting a blanket. Doing the housework and ensuring you rest. Making you cups of tea. Running you a bath. These would be lovely.

Kissing isn't very smart when one person is chok full of a virus.