Boyfriend trouble. My boyfriend has refused to kiss me because I have a cold a few times and he didn’t want a peck on the cheek either. I was very hurt by this. Any advice on what I should do please

[Crestofthewave89]

My boyfriend refuses to kiss me while I have a cough and a peck on cheek too. He has done this a few times. I feel very hurt by it. Any advice on what should I do please?

Let's swap boyfriends; mine is like you but I'd rather not even see mine if he is ill. I keep my distance as best I can.

Could you be more Monica Geller!

I don't think this will go the way you're expecting it to!

My advice, grow up and stop being high maintenance. You have a cold, colds are miserable so why would he risk catching it.

I distance from my DP when he has a cold. I'm a self-employed Massage Therapist and if I have a cold, I can't work and don't get paid.
Neither do I hug / kiss my DC (teenager) when they have a cold.
It's not because I don't care / love them. I simply don't want a cold.

Maybe stop trying to share your cold. It’s common sense to avoid germs when someone is infectiously ill. It’s not a test of his love, I think Id get the ick if a partner wanted me to kiss them when he was sick. I feel like a decent partner would say oh no I don’t want you to catch my cold and keep their distance, the non sickly one can be kind by making sure they have supplies like tissues and soup.

Meh I get a crucifix out when husband gets a cold. So I can poke him if he gets too close.

If you're for real, maybe think maturity and not take it personally. Nobody deliberately wants a cold and why would you want to make him ill just to avoid hurt feelz?

Why are you being so unkind to your boyfriend by insisting he has to accept kisses from you when you are ill?

Look inwards and ask yourself why you aren't being a good girlfriend (or human).

You catch yourself on!

Thank you for advise Thanks for being so kind. Other people replying here were not so kind to me.

To be fair, you’re being very unkind to your boyfriend.

I am not a disease. I recently had surgery and hadn’t seen him for two weeks. Please don’t judge when you don’t know the whole story

You are unreasonable expecting to share germs when you are ill with a virus that is transferred with germs on your face/mouth/nose.

Well, you need to give the whole story to begin with, rather than dripfeeding information when you don’t like the responses.

Hi OP, hope you recover well from the surgery and the cold.

Is there more backstory to this than just the not kissing thing ? How is your relationship otherwise, are you affectionate, do you cuddle and kiss often ? Do you trust him, or are you taking this as a sign of a more serious rejection ?

Thank you. Not very affectionate lately like holding hands. He has done this a few times.

I don't kiss my husband if he has a cold/cough and he doesn't me either, if I am.unwell. Why would you want to pass your germs onto him?! It's sensible not to kiss, even on the cheek, if you're unwell. I don't see the issue, he doesn't want to catch what you have, it's quite simple.

It doesn't change the question whether you had surgery or not. He doesn't want to catch any colds doing the rounds if he doesn't have to. Pretty easy to understand. It's not personal.

And the way these posts work is that you post all the information you want to be answered on.

Team boyfriend.

Get a grip, if you're hurt by this then you're not ready for a relationship.

Didn’t Covid teach us anything.
You are being unreasonable

More advice -

Don't drip feed.

I moved away from someone at work yesterday with a cold as I didn’t want to get it. The thought of kissing someone while they’re snotty and phlegmy makes me feel ill. Leave him be.

DH and I often sleep in separate bedrooms when one of us has a cold, so I'm with your boyfriend on the not kissing.

But it sounds like there is more to this? Do you feel let down by your boyfriend following your surgery? If you don't trust him to care for you when you need him to, you might need to think about your future.

You can’t not give the whole story and then get upset that people judge without knowledge of the whole story. Not that it changes my mind, even with surgery, I still wouldn’t be kissing someone with a cold.

Yes, grow up. Why would he want to get your germs?