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Relationships

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Are British girls open to dating Indian guys ?

105 replies

ThatFlakyOliveReader · 04/03/2025 12:59

I am an Indian research scholar in Math/Theoretical Physics living in the UK. So far, I have managed to make some acquaintances with some of the British guys and girls ,and some solid EU friends. I have noticed that it's a little hard to cross the boundary from acquaintance to actual close friend with the Brits, but they are lovely, so I'm hoping to cross that boundary soon. With EU people, sometimes it's easier because of the living out of-country status, cooking from scratch, and food-sharing culture.I can also speak French and am fairly knowledgeable about EU history, geography, and literature.
To be fair, India is quite diverse, and I am normally a little different from many Indians. I can cook several classic British dishes, like the classic Sunday roast, Cauliflower Cheese, Pigs in blankets, Lamb Cutlets, Christmas Pudding, and a lot of other cakes and bread. I can cook most Indian food , and a lot of French and Italian food as well.
I love classic British literature and poetry. The fact that many younger people aren't very interested in reading literature (or classics) is among the most startling things I've observed. Back in India, I thought that people would be far more into British literature. I do write some on my own as well.
I am often less religious and don't follow religious dietary restrictions. Additionally, my upbringing was also very liberal and had none of the Indian conservativeness.
I was wondering whether British girls like such guys(I know it's a lot less information), What are the dating/courtship rules? or on a date, who pays for the date? ( I have always seen this to be tricky with different nationalities.)
I appreciate your time if you have read this all. I will be grateful for your input.

OP posts:
Agapornis · 05/03/2025 16:31

👍👋🤐

sunshine2025 · 05/03/2025 16:40

Hello. I'm British North Indian and guess what, married to a well educated guy from Kolkata. What I have surmised from your posts are:

  1. I would not go near you. You stink of superiority and trying just a bit too hard not to be seen as 'one of them Indians'. 'I'm not like the others'. Na, that does not come across as attractive.
  1. You are obsessed with the differences between people. Including Indians. The fact my husband is from a different part of India is a coincidence. We liked each other as people and didn't get so hung up on where the other is from. We are just two people in love.
  1. One thing I did notice about marrying into a Bengali family however was how snobby they are. Very status driven, keeping up with the Jones's, competitive, looking down at us North Indians for being entrepreneurs rather than all being drs and academics. I've found that really sad. Let go. Have fun. Be yourself.
ThatFlakyOliveReader · 05/03/2025 16:44

Cleo2025 · 05/03/2025 16:09

Hi @ThatFlakyOliveReader , I'm sorry this site hasn't offered the answers you wanted. As I mentioned in my previous post on this thread, I have a very similar background / interests and I understand your frustration. I have experienced a lot of the same stereotyping and have frequently observed negative differences between North/South Indians and Bengalis that you mention. (That is not to say all North/South Indians are bad of course -- I have some great friends from those communities!) The thing is, if you post about all of that on a public site like this, you will get a lot of backlash because people will assume you are generalising and being too sanctimonious. Your long posts come across as being too argumentative and snobbish to the general public. I sympathise with your experiences and I understand that you are not really trying to be any of those things, but the public will not see it that way whether you like it or not.

Also keep in mind that when it comes to dating, often you find good matches even if they don't share your background or interests. I think what people here are trying to say is that everything you have said is not necessarily relevant to having successful dates. Perhaps your words are coming across as too pedantic or obsessed with proving a point, and people would rather interact with someone who doesn't discourse at length to defend their stances and dump information on strangers (it's stupid, I know...it's almost like the general public prefers those who are less sure of themselves and who don't have specific personalities and viewpoints).

My best advice is to continue to meet people, like friends of friends and local community members, and just try to connect based on personalities at first, and see if anything more can come out of it. Attend events for people with your interests (go to the English/History department seminars at your university and stay afterwards to chat with people) and take things one step at a time, don't appear too nerdy or eager to share a lot of information all at once. I have found good friends like this, but not anyone whose full set of interests truly align with mine to the same extent...that's just how life is. And as I mentioned in my earlier post, if you want a platonic pen pal with a very similar background and interests, I'm happy to chat via DMs once the site re-enables them. I am not interested in dating but do enjoy discussing similar experiences and literary/historical topics, both Indian (Bengali) and British.

Thank you for being sensitive and understanding. I didn't even want to start any debate.

OP posts:
sunshine2025 · 05/03/2025 16:59

sunshine2025 · 05/03/2025 16:40

Hello. I'm British North Indian and guess what, married to a well educated guy from Kolkata. What I have surmised from your posts are:

  1. I would not go near you. You stink of superiority and trying just a bit too hard not to be seen as 'one of them Indians'. 'I'm not like the others'. Na, that does not come across as attractive.
  1. You are obsessed with the differences between people. Including Indians. The fact my husband is from a different part of India is a coincidence. We liked each other as people and didn't get so hung up on where the other is from. We are just two people in love.
  1. One thing I did notice about marrying into a Bengali family however was how snobby they are. Very status driven, keeping up with the Jones's, competitive, looking down at us North Indians for being entrepreneurs rather than all being drs and academics. I've found that really sad. Let go. Have fun. Be yourself.

Just to say- I said I wouldn't go near you, but nothing to do with your background- because that matters not one bit to me. But you probably wouldn't go near me, purely apparently because I'm British northern Indian- so who out of the two of us has prejudices?

ThatFlakyOliveReader · 05/03/2025 17:06

sunshine2025 · 05/03/2025 16:40

Hello. I'm British North Indian and guess what, married to a well educated guy from Kolkata. What I have surmised from your posts are:

  1. I would not go near you. You stink of superiority and trying just a bit too hard not to be seen as 'one of them Indians'. 'I'm not like the others'. Na, that does not come across as attractive.
  1. You are obsessed with the differences between people. Including Indians. The fact my husband is from a different part of India is a coincidence. We liked each other as people and didn't get so hung up on where the other is from. We are just two people in love.
  1. One thing I did notice about marrying into a Bengali family however was how snobby they are. Very status driven, keeping up with the Jones's, competitive, looking down at us North Indians for being entrepreneurs rather than all being drs and academics. I've found that really sad. Let go. Have fun. Be yourself.

It's not snobbish to detach yourself from the rest of the Indians if you don't follow any steotypical Indianism. My family is not doing helicopter parenting, nor do they care about whom I choose to marry, nor am I religiously conservative, nor love Indian TV/Movies.
Often, stereotypes make people not date a person. In previous comments, many mentioned having been interested in Indian guys who later ditched them(for their Indian social family values). I don't adhere to such values, and I don't want to be seen as one of them.
" Let go. Have fun. Be yourself."
This is a piece of good advice.

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