Are British girls open to dating Indian guys ?

[ThatFlakyOliveReader]

I am an Indian research scholar in Math/Theoretical Physics living in the UK. So far, I have managed to make some acquaintances with some of the British guys and girls ,and some solid EU friends. I have noticed that it's a little hard to cross the boundary from acquaintance to actual close friend with the Brits, but they are lovely, so I'm hoping to cross that boundary soon. With EU people, sometimes it's easier because of the living out of-country status, cooking from scratch, and food-sharing culture.I can also speak French and am fairly knowledgeable about EU history, geography, and literature.
To be fair, India is quite diverse, and I am normally a little different from many Indians. I can cook several classic British dishes, like the classic Sunday roast, Cauliflower Cheese, Pigs in blankets, Lamb Cutlets, Christmas Pudding, and a lot of other cakes and bread. I can cook most Indian food , and a lot of French and Italian food as well.
I love classic British literature and poetry. The fact that many younger people aren't very interested in reading literature (or classics) is among the most startling things I've observed. Back in India, I thought that people would be far more into British literature. I do write some on my own as well.
I am often less religious and don't follow religious dietary restrictions. Additionally, my upbringing was also very liberal and had none of the Indian conservativeness.
I was wondering whether British girls like such guys(I know it's a lot less information), What are the dating/courtship rules? or on a date, who pays for the date? ( I have always seen this to be tricky with different nationalities.)
I appreciate your time if you have read this all. I will be grateful for your input.

Yes, surely, I have asked this question online so that I can learn about the differences and expectations, and I got some great responses. So far, I haven't been on any dates or asked anyone out as, at first, I wanted to understand the contemporary culture in general.
People are individuals, and not all women are going to be the same or compatible with me.

How long have you been in the UK? Sounds like you know a fair bit around contemporary culture. But as I’m sure you know, there’s no one right way of doing this. Some people want to split the bill on first dates, others don’t. Some love cooking and trashy telly, some love literature and politics. Everyone is different. The longer you wait before getting involved, the harder it will be - it’s fairly common for uk people to be dating from late teenage years onwards - though of course this varies - and lots of us will be making our daft early dating mistakes then. Some are likely to be put off by being your first ever date, tbh. So best to get going and not put too much expectation on yourself to get it right straight away. It’s trial and error for everyone here I’m afraid.

As someone who has spent her life crossing cultures, including having navigated a cross cultural relationship for the last 30 years, my observation is this:

You need to stop defining people by where they come from and start engaging with them as individual human beings. Don't focus so much on which country they come from or which part of a country they come from. Just look at the person in front of you and get to know who they really are.

Cultural differences do exist, of course. They can be significant. And there is often some truth in the stereotypes. But people are still people and generalisations aren't really helpful - they get in the way of forming positive and meaningful relationships.

Stop second guessing how others will react to you as an Indian guy from Kolkata. You are much more than that. Just focus on being the person that you want to be, and on following your particular interests. You will find like-minded people on the way, and it really won't matter where they come from.

Very telling that Indian women are ‘women’, and yet English ones are still girls.

I meet/exceed your list of requirements in a woman. I read classical and modern literature, know multiple languages and read in them, bake, cook, am British-European, a keen museum visitor, like birdwatching, archaeology and hiking.

In addition, I also like to party, hang out with gay friends, have sex outside relationships, watch trash tv, eat takeaways, ride motorbikes, and curse (if you don't understand the importance of creative cursing humour in English culture, you're fucking missing out).

None of these interests tell people whether you make a good partner - are you caring, funny, likeable, reliable, kind, supportive, respectful, do you listen, do you get on with my friends, will you do 50% of future parenting?

I don't think you've taken people's comments on board at all. That makes me think you don't listen. Your prejudices are obvious and unattractive. Why would I date a man who is waiting to trip me up based on his stereotype of what I should be?

I don't feel this is about being Indian, I think you just need to grow up a bit. Or you might just be a bit of a twat.

And stop referring to women as females or girls. Females are animals, girls are underaged.

No offence mate but you sound kind of boring. Rattling off endless supposed facts about your country and all the scientists and academics and how much knowledge you have about Britain, the EU etc.

You're coming off like a combination of a bad dating profile and walking embodiment if the 'life in the UK test'.

Stop trying to impress us. If you act and speak that way irl people will find you dull and think you sound like you're trying to advertise yourself. It looks desperate and insincere.

What made you think that I wasn't reading/understanding others' comments🤔? That is the whole point of this post. I don't have a problem with takeaways, parties, or the others you inferred.

To be honest, I haven't lived much live outside of academia, which I am actively trying to change,I go to pubs ,bowling, darts with friends. Getting into a PhD in a UK top uni is extremely competitive as a foreigner and my subjects demanded a lot of attention and time ,so I didn't have much time dating and having fun much in India.
Now, the whole "girl " thing may be just a cultural difference. I don't know the ages of the people on this site. The demographics I am interested in are 25 or younger, mostly in line with my age. My primary native language, Bengali, is gender neutral. We used to refer females up to early thiries as girls and over that women, same with male ...up to early thirties it's guys, over that men. I will keep that in check from now on.
"caring, funny, likeable, reliable, kind, supportive, respectful, do you listen, do you get on with my friends, will you do 50% of future parenting." I think you haven't read my other comments. I have already mentioned cooking for people I like and helping them, taking part in a lot of uni volunteering work, and I can already do most of the housework. What made you think that I would not be willing to share them with a partner, be unkind to them, or not listen to them?
Now, I can be funny, but funny is subjective. Sometimes, I am trying to gauge what's funny in here and what's offensive. We were at McD, and one guy's burger was filled with extra ketchup. One woman with us asked the guy, why do you put that much ketchup. He replied that the burger is going through "that time of the month" . Now the American women with us laughed, but the brit one thought it was sexist.

I can understand that it's going boring. But as so many different people(Including Indians) commented on different aspects, I had to reply.

@ThatFlakyOliveReader you didn't have to reply with a massive tedious essay that sounds worse than something written by an AI. Nobody else replies to people on here in this way, so it's definitely you. Sorry again as I'm really not trying to be rude.

"caring, funny, likeable, reliable, kind, supportive, respectful, do you listen, do you get on with my friends, will you do 50% of future parenting." I think you haven't read my other comments. I have already mentioned cooking for people I like and helping them, taking part in a lot of uni volunteering work, and I can already do most of the housework. What made you think that I would not be willing to share them with a partner, be unkind to them, or not listen to them?

No one is saying that you are not all these things. Just that these sorts of things are what matters when you’re dating, not having a full understanding of all cultural expectations. Feels like you are over sciencing this. And there’s no point in bringing up the ketchup comment at the end. It’s clearly a crass joke he made and as such best avoided unless you know someone’s sense of humour, but as you’ve seen, different people (women included) find different things funny. Find someone who finds you funny and who makes you laugh, don’t try to change your sense of humour to fit in.

People have a wide variety of tastes so some British women will be into Indian men, some won't. Of course, most women will be into a man (regardless of ethnicity or nationality) depending on his personality, looks and how much they have in common.
I'm a white British woman who married an Indian man. I fell in love with him because of his personality, not because he was Indian. I do admit that I'm kind of attracted to Asian men, but that's not why I got together with my husband.
I know other British women who've got together with Indian men.
I would say if you like a woman and feel that you're getting on well and there may be mutual attraction then ask her out on a date. Regarding courtship rules - I'm afraid that it's quite complicated here and everyone has different ideas about what's right! For example, some women think a man should pay for a first date, but other women want to pay 50% because they want equality. If I was a man, I'd probably offer to pay for a first date but accept if the woman wants to pay half.
Don't worry too much about all this. Just be yourself and see how the woman wants things to be.

Oh I don't think you sound boring at all. You sound very interesting. There are cultural differences here, that's all. You'll find a lot of British people aren't very serious and just want to have a laugh. I think what comes across in your posts is that you're taking it very seriously. That might seem strange to a British woman.

This is clearly a bot post if ever I've seen one!

Yep, bot trying to be more human!

I think you are just googling about South Indian stereotype and regurgitating the information here.
Which university did you do Masters ?
What a lot of rubbish about the entire North Indian population in UK.

It does not matter when you are from , it how you behave and how others find you matters. I think you don't get it.

Op you are in the wrong place. This is a parenting site.

I don't lie for such petty matters, nor do I want to debate on such in here. Such events happened, and that's all. I am not stereotyping the entire North India, there are certainly some good people but the majority are deeply problematic, ultra religious nutcases and terrible to women. North Indians try to demean Bengali women all the time, and they brand them as witches(even in this era). Even on my flight from Delhi to Heathrow, vegetarian North Indians made a huge deal of me having meat.

This isn't a post of Indian debate, please refrain from further replying.

Sorry, I misunderstood. Somebody on Reddit referred me to this, and I thought there would be British people to respond, which I got, even though I am in the wrong place. I am thankful for that. I will delete this post by today.

Honestly, I think you need to stop with the generalisations now.

Wow, you generalise ethnicity and have stereotypical views about different regions of your country and cannot take any comment and want me to refrain!
You sound charming, good luck.

OP you need to loosen up.

Go out have fun and talk to people both male and female.

Remember people know and are related to other people. The more people you meet and interact with the more likely you are to find someone you get on with.

I know plenty of people in mixed ethnicity marriages and relationships including Indian men with spouses from different ethnicities.

"I can speak English well for ages" 😂

Hi @ThatFlakyOliveReader , I'm sorry this site hasn't offered the answers you wanted. As I mentioned in my previous post on this thread, I have a very similar background / interests and I understand your frustration. I have experienced a lot of the same stereotyping and have frequently observed negative differences between North/South Indians and Bengalis that you mention. (That is not to say all North/South Indians are bad of course -- I have some great friends from those communities!) The thing is, if you post about all of that on a public site like this, you will get a lot of backlash because people will assume you are generalising and being too sanctimonious. Your long posts come across as being too argumentative and snobbish to the general public. I sympathise with your experiences and I understand that you are not really trying to be any of those things, but the public will not see it that way whether you like it or not.

Also keep in mind that when it comes to dating, often you find good matches even if they don't share your background or interests. I think what people here are trying to say is that everything you have said is not necessarily relevant to having successful dates. Perhaps your words are coming across as too pedantic or obsessed with proving a point, and people would rather interact with someone who doesn't discourse at length to defend their stances and dump information on strangers (it's stupid, I know...it's almost like the general public prefers those who are less sure of themselves and who don't have specific personalities and viewpoints).

My best advice is to continue to meet people, like friends of friends and local community members, and just try to connect based on personalities at first, and see if anything more can come out of it. Attend events for people with your interests (go to the English/History department seminars at your university and stay afterwards to chat with people) and take things one step at a time, don't appear too nerdy or eager to share a lot of information all at once. I have found good friends like this, but not anyone whose full set of interests truly align with mine to the same extent...that's just how life is. And as I mentioned in my earlier post, if you want a platonic pen pal with a very similar background and interests, I'm happy to chat via DMs once the site re-enables them. I am not interested in dating but do enjoy discussing similar experiences and literary/historical topics, both Indian (Bengali) and British.

You sound really bitter and a terrible person, adding so many adjectives to me without knowing almost anything about me. The entire experience I had with North Indians was usually awful, and you have no idea how much we Bengalis must put up with from North Indians back in India or how they regularly disparage us on national television.
Cursing is acceptable in a casual setting with friends but not in a library. That's my value.But you seem to be judgmental about me from the beginning to even consider such. The North Indians saying filthy about the UK people and country as well, and I wouldn't do that to a place where I am receiving education and a sense of community.
I just don't want this to be an Indian stereotype debate or someone like you putting foul adjectives to strangers. How do you even know they are women? They can be a random guy as well. They might also be a random guy. I'm not trying to silence women; I'm only telling those who wish to start a horrible argument not to do this. Just so you know, I have never been accused of such behavior in person. Just so you know, nobody in person ever accused me of such behaviour ever.
Takeways and others such are cool but I mentioned that I do those often myself but I also like cooking and lot of women commented like cooking as well. So I am following such positive posts not negative once.