Are British girls open to dating Indian guys ?

[ThatFlakyOliveReader]

I am an Indian research scholar in Math/Theoretical Physics living in the UK. So far, I have managed to make some acquaintances with some of the British guys and girls ,and some solid EU friends. I have noticed that it's a little hard to cross the boundary from acquaintance to actual close friend with the Brits, but they are lovely, so I'm hoping to cross that boundary soon. With EU people, sometimes it's easier because of the living out of-country status, cooking from scratch, and food-sharing culture.I can also speak French and am fairly knowledgeable about EU history, geography, and literature.
To be fair, India is quite diverse, and I am normally a little different from many Indians. I can cook several classic British dishes, like the classic Sunday roast, Cauliflower Cheese, Pigs in blankets, Lamb Cutlets, Christmas Pudding, and a lot of other cakes and bread. I can cook most Indian food , and a lot of French and Italian food as well.
I love classic British literature and poetry. The fact that many younger people aren't very interested in reading literature (or classics) is among the most startling things I've observed. Back in India, I thought that people would be far more into British literature. I do write some on my own as well.
I am often less religious and don't follow religious dietary restrictions. Additionally, my upbringing was also very liberal and had none of the Indian conservativeness.
I was wondering whether British girls like such guys(I know it's a lot less information), What are the dating/courtship rules? or on a date, who pays for the date? ( I have always seen this to be tricky with different nationalities.)
I appreciate your time if you have read this all. I will be grateful for your input.

Hi op. Personally I wouldn’t date an Indian man, mainly cultural differences and my personal preference looks wise blue eyes and fair haired.
you sound really nice, you can cook! You sound like conversation would never be dull or repetitive so I’m sure your lady is just around the corner.
I wouldn’t get too hung up on the questions you have asked, just go with the flow and work off the vibes you get :)

Sorry for the delay in response. It's hard to reply to everyone separately, so I am combining.
I used such historical analogies to provide background information and debunk typical misunderstandings.Generally, I am aware that discussing such strange topics during a first date can be awkward.But I do know a lot about British history.In high school, we studied British history in detail, and I like those and I did like those Cunk on Britain series(as well as her other works).When recounting historical tales, I usually make an effort to include pop culture references or films to lighten the mood.
I don't mind discussing TV series.I also enjoy watching movies and TV series like Dr. Who, Peaky Blinders, and The Crown. I also adore a number of British performers, including Hugh Laurie, Anthony Hopkins, and Ralph Fiennes. I enjoy animals, nature, and little things.I am kinda nerdy. do read and collect a lot of books, but I am often less serious. I even bunked research training to go to a uni event where they were building wooden garden baskets, or just be happy seeing blooming daffodils/Crocus, pet and play with other people's dogs. I do have a bike, and I ride it all the time. At night, I often go to the woods, or I go birdwatching during the day. I go hiking with the university hiking group.I can talk to girls regularly but can be a bit shy in relationship talk.

I've read nearly all of the great British authors' works, including both prose and poetry, and I have seen that people get shocked if you draw any references.I don't mind if a girl doesn't enjoy cooking as long as she helps and shows appreciation. I also go to pubs with some university groups and drink, but regular clubbing with excessive drinking isn't for me. Smoking bothers me because I can't stand the smell of it. I would adore a girl who treats animals with kindness.I spent years volunteering for animal rescuers back in India.
If we go on a date, I would love to show her museums, parks, and long walks on the beach, as well as new eateries and town corners. If they enjoy classical music, that's great; I can play the violin.
Now, someone said "prejudices." I believe that a country that adores Jane Austin would already be aware of how to overcome both pride and prejudices. Eastern India is actually more women-friendly, women are more educated, and often, even culture is
matrilineal, we even have a female chief minister.
I like cooking for friends. I baked a chocolate cake, and we ate it at lunchtime. They were generous to me on food for several occasions(All white European, one Brit)

When I was buying ingredients at Lidl, the counter lady asked me about the occasion, whether it was a birthday or something else. When I replied that I just like baking, she made a really surprised face.
From what I've observed so far, British men and women are generally quite kind,now I don't know if they are differnt at the back. However, as some of you mentioned, even other European men and women advise against dating Brits, primarily due to their lack of culinary culture and lower value placed on intellectual and creative pursuits, even at elite universities.Then again those are most likely prejudices and gross generalizations.
I too, often just heat some packaged food or takeout from Greggs after a tiresome day. I too, listen to the latest pop hits.

‘I too, often just heat some packaged food or takeout from Greggs after a tiresome day. I too, listen to the latest pop hits.’

Yeah i dont get it either Arent those who are dating always complaining on here that texts from prospective dates seem to be along the lines of "hello gorgeous" and other monosyllibic answers

On average I agree with you, but there are women out there who would love to speak about these things. Perhaps join a couple of food classes or history societies etc for more of a chance of meeting them, OP. If you are at uni there is more chance of meeting like-minded people at social gatherings based there - good luck, you sound very interesting 🌟

@ThatFlakyOliveReader I just chanced across your post and did a double take. I felt like I could have written it myself! I just name-changed here on Mumsnet to reply to your post because the site has currently disabled private messaging, which I wanted to use instead because I don't like putting personal information online. I am also an Indian-origin (from Kolkata) researcher in physics/engineering who shares so many of the same interests as you, and I feel exactly the same way: why are people in the UK not excited about classic British literature, history, etc. in the same way that I am? Indeed, whenever I go back to Kolkata, I almost feel jealous that people there seem to care more about my "classic" British interests. I am currently doing research in the US now and it is the same way here. Even other Indian (non-Bengali) people, like many of my fellow researchers, are more interested in Bollywood and know nothing about classic English literature (or classic Indian literature, for that matter, as though the Mahabharata and Ramayana were some exotic obscure things best left in the past!) I try to attend some book discussions, history lectures, etc. when I can but I have never truly found people passionate about these things in the same way that I am, and people never pick up on my frequent literary references either!

I will say up front that I am NOT looking to date anyone, but I am always happy to have pen pals with similar interests. I know you asked specifically about dating British girls in the UK, but if you'd like a strictly-platonic pen pal to share your interests with, I'd be happy to chat via DMs once the site enables them again.

Some common interests/similarities we have, based on your posts:

-Physics research (I do more applied physics/engineering though)
-Classic British (and other European) literature -- I love Dickens, Shakespeare, major poets like Tennyson, Shelley, etc. and many more
-French language (intermediate proficiency; would love to improve and read the original works of Alexandre Dumas in French someday!)
-Liberal background and outlook
-British history (I love digging into the historical background of classic novels and plays like Shakespeare's histories, as well as visiting historic sites)
-Playing the violin
-Being in nature, visits to museums, etc.
-British films and theatre productions with actors like those you mention
-Doctor Who and other modern British/French shows, especially crime shows
And of course, an Indian (Bengali) background. You didn't mention Indian / Bengali classic literature but given your tastes, you probably enjoy those too.

I fully sympathize with your frustration at not finding girls with similar interests; I'm not looking for a relationship but would be very happy to have like-minded friends, as I also can't find people locally who are interested in sharing these hobbies -- most people just like pop culture things and don't care about classics.

Anyway, I know this wasn't what you were looking for but if you'd like to chat more via DMs, that would be great! I wish I were back in the UK so we could be friends in person, because you sound like you would make a great friend.

Off-topic, but regarding the history and culture, I think it's a mixture of a few things: familiarity breeding contempt, in recent times a very judgemental view of British history and culture which results in some aversion from it, also a sense that reading the classics is for snobs. It's a real pity.

I remember the Mahabharata being on British TV in the 90s!

When recounting historical tales, I usually make an effort to include pop culture references or films to lighten the mood.

It's all a bit... curated.

As the OP‘s posts have gone on, they do have a bit of an AI feel to them

I'm a woman of ethnic origin not Indian. I would say there will be women who will date someone of Indian origin and also perhaps a few who will not/ might be hesitant. I think it not the fact that you are Indian, moreso that it might be a culture and possibly a religion so different from theirs. I say this if the female is potentially looking for long term. I would have considered this in my youth as marrying simeone with totally different experiences could pose challenging- love does not always conquer all. As someone in my 50s I would think differently. Good luck finding someone. Just continue making friends and see where things lead perhaps?

I am a person of Indian origin and know a lot of mixed ethnic couples. It's not the ethnicity but personality that matters, lot of couple have some shared but a lot of individual interests,

Have you had any girl friends or partners OP?

Not to mention the sentence/ paragraph structure of the Ops posts don't coincide with the one they are using on here - words randomly cut in half, two word lines, etc... almost looks copied and.pasted 🤔 also some US spelling choices that a genuine fan of UK classic literature would Never use 😂

More and more looking like an AI post...

I think mixed ethnicity/culture relationships need thought. Relationships are hard enough without adding a cultural divide that may introduce intolerable pressure on a rwlationship. If you have families will liberal attitudes all well and good but I have know mixed relationships that have caused disowning of children and family fracture. It seems both painful and isolating.

Going off your posts Op I cannot see why you would want a relationship with a British woman. Your culture has shaped your thinking (rightly so) and our culture has shaped ours. They are very different. Your list of accomplishments is smashing but it's how you are as a person that will attract someone to you. Are you funny? Sarcastically funny? Confident? Caring? Good in bed? Have you ever been on a date?

Where are you based op?
There are lots of mixed relationships in many parts of the UK. For example in London this is very commonplace.

Why don't you just find someone you like and not worry about their nationality?

Indian yes, absolutely. Its Pakistani men that I just would not take the risk with.

Having read your updates, I think you will find the women you are looking for in the Conservative Party. If you join, you'll find lots of social events in your local area which involve some quite interesting discussions that may be your world view.

I know lots of young people that bake, don’t drink and like hiking and books. I come from Wales and I see lots of similarities between Welsh and Indian culture in the older village/ communities.

So you think that SouthIndians dislike Bengalis ! What an ignorant mind set you have - where in South India did you live ?
South India is more progressive compared to the rest of the country !

Well, I am not sure any part of the country is women friendly! I am not sure if I will say Kolkata where a female resident doctor was raped and killed in the hospital she works as a place safer for women. Chief minister of the state may be a woman but that alone is not enough!

Some of what you described is just being a foreigner. I'm white European living in a different European country where I speak the language. I do have native friends and have dated natives, but many natives aren't really interested in me (and vice versa). We don't share the same background, childhood references, dress sense, and quite a lot of starting points for everything from what time is dinner and present giving etiquette up to politics and ethics are just very different. Sometimes it's just that we're too lazy to be bothered with each other's accents to be friends. When I was a researcher, the temporary nature of the job also stopped friendships & relationships because there was just no point in investing outside the expat community.

If you try to meet new people in different settings, you'll eventually find somewhere with people you get on with.

I can assure you that I am not an AI 😅. I like sarcasm and often comment as such. Unfortunately, in a university setting, you have to be cautious, as many other Europeans/asians are rather direct.
See, I am not perfect, nor will I want a perfect girl, but rather an imperfect, open-minded one who is willing to learn new things and will not hesitate to introduce me to contemporary British culture while having fun.
To the possible South Indian: I have lived in South India for my Masters for two years. You can't fool me. There's so much language nazism. In house hunting(renting), they specify only south Indian upper caste, calls us bengalis Maxists. I was dismissed from a research institute on the second day of poster presentations, inferring me, "illegal Bangladeshi".A South Indian Professor gave me the lowest in his class, calling me, "just because you are from Kolkata, you think you are smart". Even before British Raj, Bengalis obliterated casteism in Bengal, and south Indians reintroduced it. This is why we are still much liberal than the rest. I have never seen a single instance of casteism in my whole life.
Crimes against women are unfortunate, and regrettably, they are still prevalent everywhere, not just in India. Yes they rape happened a few months back, but have you seen how the local population reacted? have you seen the mass movements, protests against culprits, candle march in support of women? Kolkata is still voted the safest city for women in India. Our version of Hinduism is also more about valuing women. I have always seen my father helping my mother with everything. I am sure you can surely read about them!
I, at least, find a lot of North Indian public behaviour in the UK gross. Such groups use filthy cursive words to talk to each other, even in public places. I was at a different uni for a conference, and one Indian girl at their library was conversing loudly in foul Hindi words, which everyone could hear. They get away as they know that foreigners will not understand.

Sounds like you want to lead ? What about where they would like to go and what they would like to show or share with you !

What if they don’t appreciate you cooking ? What if food is just fuel to them?
Remember cooking is your love it may not theirs

People are going to want to get to know you as a person first, and how you connect to your culture later. And you should be getting to know women as individuals first, and not obsessing over how they measure up to your initial or revised expectations around what British / European etc women should be like.

You’ve spoken a lot in generalities - can you give us any examples of dates you’ve been on, people you have asked out / asked you out, potential relationships etc?

I want to add that generally my interactions with the British people are far more better than other Indians or foreigners. They often get jealous about it.
People in shops tended to help me extra than others. The local bike repair guy always pick up mine leaving his ongoing customers, for others he even say them to leave them for later pick up.
I got to live in a 2 bedroom house all by myself in a minimal rent. It's the second home of a UK couple who liked me over all others for some reason.
One thing that is weird is that a lot of local uni students ask for my number(themselves) after any event. But they never call/text to follow up.
I have spoken on Christianity and Science for an hour(At a uni organised Christian event), which everyone loved and asked questions. I was surprised to see that they didn't know about Roger Bacon or Grosseteste; back in India, we would assume that everyone knows about them. So yeah, it's me leaning about different cultures as well.